To change kid name my deed poll?

[Herroyal]

DC, 11, and 10 currently have DPs surname. We are married but I kept my own surname.

I now feel like we should have put my surname as their middle name because I’d like them to have it and it’s a pain travelling with different surnames! I had no idea.
Our names don’t double barrel well, plus kids are used to their surname as is.

they already have 2 middle names each, so they’ll
end up with 3 which will be a mouthful! AIBU to do it anyway?
so their passports can read 1st name, my surname as middle, surname??

what would you do?

@harriethoyle i’ve also consistently said that I would like them to have my name too.

Not too sure why you have asked OP, you are certainly not willing to consider anyone's opinion unless they are validating your choice.

Jeez, it’s not the 1950s. It’s pretty common and it professionally makes sense for many women to keep their own names. Provided your children are happy with it just change by deed poll. My kids have my surname as a middle name and I’ve never had any problem travelling with them alone.

‘They’ll need to do this for one off things like getting married and also more common things like every time they start a new job.’

I’ve changed jobs twice in 2 years - both times I shows my passport as the right to work proof. No-one was after a birth cert or anything else.

And so far in my children’s existence no doctor or dentist or school or anything else has ever used middle names to ascertain their identity for routine stuff. It’s always name and DOB and address…

‘Not too sure why you have asked OP, you are certainly not willing to consider anyone's opinion unless they are validating your choice.’

Haven’t made a choice. Am weighing ip pros and cons while questioning some statements people are coming out with that I don’t believe to be true and answering questions.

i’m
still very much on the fence.

Haven’t made a choice. Am weighing ip pros and cons while questioning some statements people are coming out with that I don’t believe to be true and answering questions.

i’m
still very much on the fence.

Your posts don't reflect this

Obviously you’ve made your mind up about what you selfishly want and only asking for validation for it.
Which you’re not getting.
So, carry on OP.

It might depend on what type of jobs they decide to do. Every local authority I’m registered with wanted to see my birth certificate along with my passport.

You’ve only quoted part of my post. I clearly said every time they need to show their birth certificate they’ll also need the deed poll certificate. Not that every time they register somewhere they’ll need it. It does seem like you’re trying to convince yourself as you’re very defensive.

@PeachCottonTree I just don’t believe that it’ll be that much hassle for a middle name, that’s all.
but yes there may be circs where’s they might need to show it with a birth cert at same time

They will have to tick that.

“Known as” doesn’t mean what people who know them know them as. It means legally known as.

I have to use it as I dropped my first name. I was known by everyone by my middle name from 14. That’s not what it means though. Legally I was Shitfirstbame Middlename and that’s what I have to put in that section.

Also it won’t make the difference you think to travel.

Billions over the world have different surnames in marriage. Immigration places are used to that.

stronger scrutiny, and in your case some prejudice toward same sex couples, is the issue. Not the names.

I get stopped far more often now with my younger kids - same surname - than I ever did with my elder kids who don’t.

Fgs @YellowTreeHouse 🤪 you really need to start reading posts properly before commenting, first sentence says they're married.

*I’ve changed jobs twice in 2 years - both times I shows my passport as the right to work proof. No-one was after a birth cert or anything else.

And so far in my children’s existence no doctor or dentist or school or anything else has ever used middle names to ascertain their identity for routine stuff. It’s always name and DOB and address…*

OP. In the short term there will be little change using the DCs new names.

But the school will need to see documentation of the legal name (if you want to change it on their records), and will 100% need to see it if they want their new names on GCSE and A-Level entries and certificates. Universities need proof of names.

Longer term, every single job I've had in the last 15 years has required several forms of ID and proof of any name changes since birth. That's to work in a school. There are a whole range of jobs that will require this - and the official documentation to match - such as police, healthcare, law, social services, anything even remotely financial, local councils, education etc etc.

If your dc ever want to undertake any activity that involves working with children or vulnerable adults they will need a DBS - schools, brownie leader etc.

When applying for financial services they will need to provide official documentation.

When you apply for someone's death certificate you have to provide their name at birth.

This is a change that they will carry the burden of for a lifetime, in so many ways that you haven't even thought of. Your travel experiences are inconvenient but temporary.

Blimey OP! Having read all your posts, you're probably right to change their names

I have a different name to my child but never had an issue travelling but then again,I'm not in a same sex relationship

Sorry you have had so many horrible experiences whilst travelling

‘ut the school will need to see documentation of the legal name (if you want to change it on their records), and will 100% need to see it if they want their new names on GCSE and A-Level entries and certificates. Universities need proof of names.’

no, no change to any records. At school, and everywhere else they are first name, surname and as this will be an additional middle name that won’t change.
Not going for a double barrel at all.

no, no change to any records. At school, and everywhere else they are first name, surname and as this will be an additional middle name that won’t change.

So what's the point then? Really?

No change to existing records. But a lifetime of having to provide extra documentation or the ballache of fitting unnecessary middle names to forms whenever they have to provide official papers. Insane. Just take the docs you have on holiday for the next few years and resign yourself that your domestic situation will, unfortunately, still raise eyebrows in some countries.

The change will still need to be recorded.

The last thing you should be doing for your child is creating a situation where they have a new legal name that isn't on any records. That will just make things awkward and messy later on.

Either do it, and have it changed and recorded everywhere, or don't. Don't half arse it.

@sprinkleparty why are you considering it?

With 3 middle names you are setting them up for a life of having to write a lot on forms. You also have to declare name changes regularly on forms and sometimes require proof. I know you are 2 women, but is there a named biological father? If so that might be the complication, because otherwise you just carry their birth certificates when travelling.

Some countries do check (happened to me, i don't doubt you) and some countries are not up on lgbtq matters it seems.

There's definitely +&-'s. I would personally suggest if you want to change the name it's hyphenated rather than an additional middle name as that should be better for travel

@ThreeLittleDots ’Disagree. My name change via deed poll is not an inconvenience to prove.’

thanks. Always good to hear from people with RL experience

@gogohmm ’. I know you are 2 women, but is there a named biological father?’

I don’t know how many times I can say we are MARRIED, they are OUR children and we are BOTH on the birth certificates.
So it is up to us and us alone to make decisions regarding our children.

and for those who think I’m exaggerating some of the crap we get when travelling together sometimes, just look at some of the comments on here!

@Herroyal Because I regret not having the connection to my side of the family. That is reason enough.

And I envisage the DC travelling alone with my family who live abroad.

Sorry for the aggro you’re getting on this thread. I understand where you’re coming from.

And I envisage the DC travelling alone with my family who live abroad.

You would need to provide written authority from all parents with PR to your family if the are travelling with your dc (without you). Doesn't matter what name they have.

Changing their name won’t change issues travelling.

Youll still need the same paperwork to answer questions.

Billions of people over the world live with children only sharing a name with one parent. Increased scrutiny and security is why it’s harder now to travel within questions - it’s nothing to do with names.

I get questions more now travelling with my younger kids who have the same name than I ever did with my older kids who don’t (and also have a different skin tone).

‘Because I regret not having the connection to my side of the family. That is reason enough.’

same. Funny how things change over time…