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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this tight

112 replies

bernfinn89 · 02/12/2022 21:33

so been seeing bf for 2 years. he has one son 8 ive two aged 6 and 9. we dont live together. his son lives over 90 mins away. he was to pick his son up today and take him to my home for the weekend. Hes been away for work for a few days so yesterday offered to get us all a big takeaway( from my local town indain or chinese etc) this evening as a treat to save me cooking etc. fast forward to today we usually have dinner at say 4ish obviously didn't knowing we were getting a take-away this eve kids had a small snack. he was picking his little boy up at 6 so wud be 7.30 or later before he got here which was fine. yesterday he said i could ring it in when they were 20 mins away if it suited ... any way fast forward to this eve hes text saying he might just get 40 chciken nuggets out of mcdondalds for us all instead cus hes not hungry.. i said no its fine il just order us something instead meaning me and the kids.. anyway hes come in and ive seen a receipt that fell out and him little boy went into mcds and got large meals mc fluffys the lot... am i being petty or is this just tight as fuck..

OP posts:
ThatGirlInACountrySong · 02/12/2022 21:41

Not going to shame anyone for being 'tight'

Takeout is just too expensive these days.

KarmaStar · 02/12/2022 21:43

I would take this a a signal of his lack of respect and consideration for my dc and myself and tell him to leave.you really don't need this idiot in your life,you can,and will,do so much better.
get rid op.
your new love isn't far away in terms of distance.

poefaced · 02/12/2022 21:43

YANBU. I’m guessing you will be feeding this cocklodger and his son the entire weekend?

He has shown you who he is so stop spending money on bim and his son that he does not spend on you.

UWhatNow · 02/12/2022 21:49

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 02/12/2022 21:41

Not going to shame anyone for being 'tight'

Takeout is just too expensive these days.

What about lying and then leaving your girlfriend in a scramble to feed her kids? Not cool.

Mean with money = mean in spirit.

vincettenoir · 02/12/2022 21:50

It seems odd he offered you 40 nugs instead of asking what you might want from Maccys. Why 40 nugs? Is that your standard order or something?

Original poster
bernfinn89 · 02/12/2022 21:51

im not trying to shame him for not buying a takeaway. i never asked for it it was offered as a treat. its the fact he lied and pretended he wasn't hungry to not have to get us one when he knows if they had dinner here i would have made food for everyone the same.

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 02/12/2022 21:51

Tightness is a horrible trait. I wouldn't be impressed

Pumpkintopf · 02/12/2022 21:54

Is he always like this or is this a one off?

Could you have said 'well you may not be hungry but we made plans so I'd like to stick to those'?

WoahThereWoah · 02/12/2022 21:54

Is it tight? Isn't mcdonalds as dear as Indian? And he offered you some mcdonalds? Is the issue more about that he went to mcdonalds when you were all supposed to get Indian, rather that the fact that he's tight?

I would be pissed off if I thought we were all getting take away and I hadn't sorted dinner because of it. But then I'd just order the Indian for myself and my kids and stuff him! I'd be annoyed.

1dontunderstand · 02/12/2022 21:55

Did they have the maccy ds at the beginning of the journey or closer to your house?
maybe his child wanted Mac Donald’s,
but why couldn’t he communicate that to you, why lie?

DenholmElliot11 · 02/12/2022 21:57

i'm not sure if its tight or not because he also had to factor in the travel time . I think you need to tell us whether you feed them all week-end normally.

piedbeauty · 02/12/2022 21:57

If he and ds are at your house at weekends, who pays for food? Is he usually like this, or is this unusual?

He needs to learn to use his words to communicate, whatever his reason for going to McDs. There's no excuse for lying to you.

Original poster
bernfinn89 · 02/12/2022 21:59

if he had text and saying x is hungry might get a mcds now id have of course no problem at all.. the time on the receipt was after hed text me saying he wasnt hungry so it was pure lies.. i know its not exactly the crime of the century just seems a bit unnecessary to save a few pound..why offer in the first place its just a bit cringe

OP posts:
yoyo1234 · 02/12/2022 22:00

Could he have got hungry (or his son) near McDonalds so they went in and got food for himself and child and wanted to get you and your DC something. Seems sensible (I'm not even sure of the costs of chinese/Indian takeaway now) . I am not think it is tight just potentially opportunistic (sometimes I just fancy MacDonalds).

Original poster
bernfinn89 · 02/12/2022 22:05

if annoys me because if it was the other day round and my kids were hungry id ring and say gonna tip in for a mc ds text what yous want from chinese/indian etc and il get it on the way home for yous.. i wudnt expect them to sit all eve waiting on us to bring food and the just get a box of McNuggets then cus they were cheaper and the easiest option

OP posts:
cstaff · 02/12/2022 22:06

It's the fact that you were supposed to be having a night off from cooking and him bringing a takeaway that would really piss me off. If this is a one off I would let it go but i would be watching closely from now onwards re costs/money etc.

poefaced · 02/12/2022 22:08

Are you going to be feeding him and his this weekend, OP?

ElmoNeedsThePotty · 02/12/2022 22:09

Forget the money he is a liar.

Get rid.

kittenkipping · 02/12/2022 22:11

Urgh. Self serving and cannot be said to be thoughtless- as he thought enough to cover his tracks as it were. Just that in the moment he thought better of his earlier generosity, and lesser of any inconvenience it may cause his "d"p. McDonald's isn't equal to takeaway. It's an average of £4 a meal. The lack of comparative cost is why you see so many poor people there- £20 a meal out for a family of four is impossible anywhere else. I'd be upset and feel belittled and mistreated. Not because of money but because it's not lack of thought that's driven him, but actual spite. If he's forgotten = thoughtless. He actually contrived a story and lied- meaning he knew that it would be inconvenient and he meant to back out of his promise, and so he choose to orchestrate a farce instead of saying "actually me and dc just want to pig out alone " (which after the promise would still be shit- he could have done that AND delivered the food. But would at least have been honest)

gamerchick · 02/12/2022 22:13

It's off-putting, especially as you'll probably be feeding them over the weekend. It would put me right off a partner who did that.

Why nuggets though? That's weird.

MeJane · 02/12/2022 22:15

The nuggets part is very strange.

Why would he think that you and your dc wouldn't need a meal just become he wasn't hungry. Confused

oviraptor21 · 02/12/2022 22:16

Why nuggets? Because it's minimum effort I'd say.
I'd be none too impressed by the trade down from a proper takeaway to McDonalds and that's without the lying involved.

LittleBrenda · 02/12/2022 22:19

If there is a next time it's your turn to provide a meal, just do one element. Lunch-courgettes. Breakfast-croutons.

Original poster
bernfinn89 · 02/12/2022 22:21

id imagine nuggets because mcds is 45 mins away and they can be reheated in the air fryer.. my kids come home at 3 o clock from school and were waiting and excited for a takeaway as we dont get them too often.. so a few nuggets at half 7 was an insult in my eyes.. if he hadnt of offered i would have taught nothing of them getting a mcds its the fact he did and then backtracked

OP posts:
QuillBill · 02/12/2022 22:23

It's not tight, it's outrageous. Who tells their girlfriend or two years that he will bring dinner home and instead feeds himself and then tips up with a bag of nuggets to feed three people who,thought they were getting some dinner.

And then parks himself and a child for the weekend.

Does he pay towards your bills?