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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this tight

112 replies

bernfinn89 · 02/12/2022 21:33

so been seeing bf for 2 years. he has one son 8 ive two aged 6 and 9. we dont live together. his son lives over 90 mins away. he was to pick his son up today and take him to my home for the weekend. Hes been away for work for a few days so yesterday offered to get us all a big takeaway( from my local town indain or chinese etc) this evening as a treat to save me cooking etc. fast forward to today we usually have dinner at say 4ish obviously didn't knowing we were getting a take-away this eve kids had a small snack. he was picking his little boy up at 6 so wud be 7.30 or later before he got here which was fine. yesterday he said i could ring it in when they were 20 mins away if it suited ... any way fast forward to this eve hes text saying he might just get 40 chciken nuggets out of mcdondalds for us all instead cus hes not hungry.. i said no its fine il just order us something instead meaning me and the kids.. anyway hes come in and ive seen a receipt that fell out and him little boy went into mcds and got large meals mc fluffys the lot... am i being petty or is this just tight as fuck..

OP posts:
MeJane · 03/12/2022 09:21

You knew you were sorting dinner yourself that night.
No,she didn't. She thought her boyfriend was bringing a Chinese. Not eating in Macdonalds and then getting her and two children a pile of 40 nuggets.

Take-away is expensive and I consider it quite a special treat
So does the OP which is why she and her children were looking forward to it.

healthadvice123 · 03/12/2022 09:23

@ScarlettSunset did you read the OP ? The plan was he was picking up a Chinese/ Indian for all their tea as a treat, so OP never cooked like normal. He then changed his mind and offered to bring 40 nuggets back for OP and her kids.
So if him and his child were hungry earlier fair enough eat , but then still pick up the take away for op and her kids as promised
You don't offer to buy and pick up something and then just not bother , its dickish behaviour

healthadvice123 · 03/12/2022 09:24

Some people really need to actually read the OP post before replying as its quite clear you haven't and just made it up

GreyGoose1980 · 03/12/2022 09:33

Sometimes it’s the seemingly little things that end a relationship. For me this would be a deal breaker as it shows he’s prepared to lie to you, break promises and doesn't really consider your kids.

YellowDots · 03/12/2022 09:53

You must have a pretty shit relationship @ScarlettSunset if you think that it's OK to say you will get a meal for your girlfriend but instead go out to Macdonalds and eat there and not provide a meal for the other people.

What do you mean 'you decided you didn't want that'? Why would somebody want a third share of forty nugget for their dinner?

ScarlettSunset · 03/12/2022 09:53

healthadvice123 · 03/12/2022 09:23

@ScarlettSunset did you read the OP ? The plan was he was picking up a Chinese/ Indian for all their tea as a treat, so OP never cooked like normal. He then changed his mind and offered to bring 40 nuggets back for OP and her kids.
So if him and his child were hungry earlier fair enough eat , but then still pick up the take away for op and her kids as promised
You don't offer to buy and pick up something and then just not bother , its dickish behaviour

Yes I did read the OP.
People are allowed to decide they want something else. It's not like he didn't let them know and just turned up with nothing without saying in advance. Yes it might be dickish, but it's not 'tight'.

ScarlettSunset · 03/12/2022 10:01

YellowDots · 03/12/2022 09:53

You must have a pretty shit relationship @ScarlettSunset if you think that it's OK to say you will get a meal for your girlfriend but instead go out to Macdonalds and eat there and not provide a meal for the other people.

What do you mean 'you decided you didn't want that'? Why would somebody want a third share of forty nugget for their dinner?

The OP told him it was fine! She could have said 'oh but we were all looking forward to the Chinese/Indian, I'd rather we stuck to the original plan'. But she didn't, she said it was fine.
If someone tells me a change of plans is fine, then I assume they are OK with that.

Bluerisotto · 03/12/2022 10:35

ReedRite · 02/12/2022 22:27

How selfish can you be to change dinner plans because ‘I’m not hungry’, as if you’re the only person and there aren’t four other people who are hungry who you should be considering?

And that’s his face value explanation. To cap it all, that’s not even the truth, he’s lied and stuffed his face and fed up his boy and left you and yours hungry/fobbed off with a few nuggets.

He’s a selfish prick, OP.

This

MamaFirst · 03/12/2022 10:36

She said it was fine HE WASN'T HUNGRY. Are you sure you read it?! He lied and stuffed his selfish pig face.

MamaFirst · 03/12/2022 10:37

MamaFirst · 03/12/2022 10:36

She said it was fine HE WASN'T HUNGRY. Are you sure you read it?! He lied and stuffed his selfish pig face.

@ScarlettSunset

been and done it. · 03/12/2022 10:42

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 02/12/2022 21:41

Not going to shame anyone for being 'tight'

Takeout is just too expensive these days.

Well he shouldn't have offered then or told the OP he was unexpectedly short so take out would be cancelled.

been and done it. · 03/12/2022 10:48

MoreSleepPleasee · 03/12/2022 00:18

Yanbu. If he hasn't seen his son in a few weeks and doesn't live with you why is he coming round anyway. I assume it's easier for him if your kids entertain his plus he doesn't have to get food in.

This

been and done it. · 03/12/2022 10:49

ScarlettSunset · 03/12/2022 07:27

I don't think it's necessarily tight. Perhaps he decided he didn't want what he'd originally intended to get (or maybe his son didn't), so he let you know he'd be bringing nuggets instead.
You decided you didn't want that and would just feed yourself and your children yourself. Presumably he still needed to feed his own son before they arrived back at yours? So they stopped at McDonald's and probably the son wanted a meal there and so that's what they had
As you don't live together, I doubt you share finances so I'm not sure why you're checking his receipts - and if he just left it lying around he clearly didn't feel he'd done anything wrong, just fed his child and himself as you were providing food for yourself and your own children.

Didn't you read the post?

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 03/12/2022 11:26

He is a selfish greedy pig.

karendrury · 03/12/2022 11:35

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knittingaddict · 03/12/2022 11:36

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 02/12/2022 21:41

Not going to shame anyone for being 'tight'

Takeout is just too expensive these days.

Spectacularly missing the point there. 🙄

karendrury · 03/12/2022 11:39

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karendrury · 03/12/2022 11:42

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vincettenoir · 03/12/2022 13:27

Agree with @karendrury . The fact that he’s put his poor son in a difficult position by manipulating him to lie is actually the worst part of it all. All so unnecessary.

poefaced · 03/12/2022 13:33

bernfinn89 · 02/12/2022 23:15

ive just asked him about it as kids were here and didnt wanna make things awkward.. his reply was jesus ud swaer they wud have starved the way your going on..( meaning my kids ) ive told him to F off home in the morning

He’s a nasty piece of work. Has he gone?

karendrury · 03/12/2022 13:36

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NumberTheory · 03/12/2022 13:53

vincettenoir · 03/12/2022 13:27

Agree with @karendrury . The fact that he’s put his poor son in a difficult position by manipulating him to lie is actually the worst part of it all. All so unnecessary.

How has he manipulated his DS to lie?

GrazingSheep · 03/12/2022 13:59

Hopefully he’s gone for good.

karendrury · 03/12/2022 15:34

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karendrury · 03/12/2022 16:23

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