to think this tight

[bernfinn89]

so been seeing bf for 2 years. he has one son 8 ive two aged 6 and 9. we dont live together. his son lives over 90 mins away. he was to pick his son up today and take him to my home for the weekend. Hes been away for work for a few days so yesterday offered to get us all a big takeaway( from my local town indain or chinese etc) this evening as a treat to save me cooking etc. fast forward to today we usually have dinner at say 4ish obviously didn't knowing we were getting a take-away this eve kids had a small snack. he was picking his little boy up at 6 so wud be 7.30 or later before he got here which was fine. yesterday he said i could ring it in when they were 20 mins away if it suited ... any way fast forward to this eve hes text saying he might just get 40 chciken nuggets out of mcdondalds for us all instead cus hes not hungry.. i said no its fine il just order us something instead meaning me and the kids.. anyway hes come in and ive seen a receipt that fell out and him little boy went into mcds and got large meals mc fluffys the lot... am i being petty or is this just tight as fuck..

Tell him you've changed your mind too. You'd rather spend the weekend just with your kids.

I’m in the minority here but did he just not fancy a heavy takeaway? I find that a maccies never fills my dh up so if he fancied something ‘light’ a maccies would be ideal. But on the face of it he did lie didn’t he?

I’d expect dh to pick something up for me too but not sure if that’s an option as it sounds like maccies is 45 mins away? Even if he wasn’t lying then he was definitely not very clear. Could have been dealt with better for sure and I think I’d be disappointed in your position too!

why do you normally eat dinner at 4pm?!

He sounds like a loser really
Don’t put up with this nonsense

He just didn't want to spend out on your kids.
As pp said he is happy to use your kids to entertain his own all weekend but won't fork out for a takeaway that he had promised.

How often does he spend time with his son on his own?

He lied. Maybe it was a 'small lie' in the grand scheme, but it's a big red flag. The problem with liars (especially those who do it to get out of something) is that lying becomes their default response to any difficult situation.

Why is he bringing his son to your house for his access? Was this just a 'dinner invite' from you or is it the old 'my house isn't suitable' that men trot out to get their GF to to all the parenting work?

Why did you tell him to go home tomorrow? I'd have said to leave then and there. No one is rude to me in my own house and still gets my hospitality.

Yeah it doesn’t mgatter if he wasn’t hungry or even if kid ate McDonald’s l His cheap self STILL should have picked up the Chinese or Indian takeaway. He promised atrial and test an expectation. It is then his obligation and dare I say pleasure, to deliver on that. Maybe he wouldn’t personally partake of the meal or even his kid, but the joy of easing your burden and treating you should be compelling in it own right.

He would have pissed me off with his reasoning alone. Very selfish of him and very unattractive. Especially since you bought treats for all the children and are trying to make it a special weekend. Gah… if you didn’t feel like movie treats would you just not get them or grab a haggard box of dime store treats ?!?

then you throw in the fact that this guy lied. Coming home thinking himself slick with some low effort nuggets… likely smelling of McDonald’s sweat… I wonder if he felt himself smart and enjoyed tricking you…

what’s has he done before really? Nobody who thinks that a lie like that and the reasoning used is a good person. NO WAY he hasn’t don’t crap before. His reasoning alone WHEN HE LIED shows me he’s trash and that you’ve let your bar slip. Raise it.

Typos sorry

basically he promised you and set an expectation, and no matter the current hunger status of him or his kid, he should have fulfilled it. He’s self centered and even when he lies his reasoning is unacceptable.

Not sure why you are still with him after previous posts. Novembers hotel incident would have been the final milestone for me.

is this what you want for the rest of your life? This behaviour from a life partner?

Does this boyfriend know about the the one you had in October? Because you say in October you’ve had a partner for four years? There are a lot of inconsistencies in your posts….

if you truly are dealing with a selfish man you have heard it all before … on here even. You decide what you deserve and if you choose to lower your worth than it’s on you You have a trail of evidence that you’re lowering yourself by being with such trash… it’s on you know to understand that you’re either going to raise the bar or flop in the mud with trash men.

If you’re somehow passing the time posting here for funsies then I’m going to expect better more compelling posts moving forward. Lol … selfish man arc is overdone.

No he's a t*@t.

@JustKittenAround Because of your post, I checked op’s other threads. I’m not seeing lots of inconsistencies. The 2/4 years could be a typo or because they briefly split 2 years ago. Anyway, what the other threads say is that you should lose this loser op. He’s a problem drinker / alcoholic, is not serious about your engagement and seems very selfish. The food thing tonight is just another side of the selfishness and he also gaslit you.

Typo is definitely possible good point. There were a couple other things I noticed, but I get your point. I’m all grizzled from people trying to play around on here.

still she’s been told time and time again. She knows he’s selfish. It’s time for her to raise up and accept her inherent value.

Truth is the best anyone will get from a man like this is a half apology with lots of bs excuses. He ruins everything, drinks too much, and doesn’t prioritize her happiness. I understand trauma bonds and the feeling of low self worth… but OP has a children witnessing this man acting like human garbage.

I wouldn’t let a man like this scoop my cats litter. He is trash. It’s easy for me to say because he hasn’t tricked me to have feelings for him, but surely others can see what a turd he is?

He was meant to treat her and her children because she has the burden of cooking much of the time. That is not something that is dependent on his whims, it’s a unsolicited offer to treat her and lessen burden. Yet, even lying he shows his colors. Honestly, if he’d called me with the not hungry excuse I’d say that’s fine, and to hurry back with the promised treat.

Plus the lying.

I hope he wasn’t driving his kid around drunk because he’s a stone cold alcoholic.

Doubt the sex is any good… I see no point to this man in OPs life based off the prior posts. He’s deadweight.

I don't get it if he's tight then why did he just get a meal for his son and not tell you? Why did he offer you a takeaway? It seems strange.

Agree with this

Good one OP. A Person who lies unnecessarily clearly lies a lot of the time. You never know where you are with them. Might be trivial to some but it's shone a light on his character definitely.
A normal person would say 'sorry my dc was just too hungry to wait and we stopped off at McDonald's after all' and let you make a decision what you wanted to do. Being deceitful In that situation is unnecessary and therefore concerning.

I don’t really understand why you think this is tight or to save money. It was thoughtless but it wasn’t tight. It sounds like they were on their way and fancied Macdonalds, that is all. He should have told you of the change of plan at the earliest opportunity though, that he didn’t would be an annoyance to me, but I don’t understand why you are fixated on the financial side of it.

He sounds like a selfish dick. He lied, then defended the fact he'd been a selfish twat and disappointed your children. I feel this is a red flag for treating the children differently too.

I'm not quite understanding....so he got him self and his son food at Max Donald's (fine) offered to bring nuggets (you said no) and so you ordered a take away- at that point you didn't know he'd eaten. Surely you just ordered a takeaway for when they arrived, you all sat down together and those that were less hungry (because they'd stuffed a McDonalds) didn't eat so much?

Why did he lie though? Why was he uncomfortable admitting to grabbing a McDonalds with his son? Because he was swerving getting a takeaway? If so I'd never listen to him when he said he was getting a takeaway again. Ever. This is about more than him being tight.

I wouldn't like it, purely cause mine were waiting to be fed and he didn't care

Because he made a commitment to the rest of them, changed his mind and lied he wasn't hungry, then stuffed his own and his sons face. Also not sure it was about the money so much as being unreliable and having no guilt over letting the other children down. Regardless, it makes him an arse.

But there was a plan, to be home by 7.30 with a takeaway.

Instead he offered OP nuggets.

And got full meals for himself and his kid.

I don't think it's necessarily tight. Perhaps he decided he didn't want what he'd originally intended to get (or maybe his son didn't), so he let you know he'd be bringing nuggets instead.
You decided you didn't want that and would just feed yourself and your children yourself. Presumably he still needed to feed his own son before they arrived back at yours? So they stopped at McDonald's and probably the son wanted a meal there and so that's what they had
As you don't live together, I doubt you share finances so I'm not sure why you're checking his receipts - and if he just left it lying around he clearly didn't feel he'd done anything wrong, just fed his child and himself as you were providing food for yourself and your own children.

I'm raging on your behalf OP. It's not about the nuggets it's the general lack of thought and the lying

@mindutopia no she wasn't sorting dinner as he told her not to and he would buy a take away when he arrived for them to eat together
Do people actually not read the OP