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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Give up seat on the train

132 replies

ItsTheSmallThings · 02/12/2022 19:00

AIBU to give up a seat on a busy train for a mum carrying a young toddler?

OP posts:
2bazookas · 03/12/2022 15:00

I still give up my bus/train seat to countless people frailer or more in need of it than me; regardless of gender. Disabled people, men carrying toddlers and shopping, pregnant women.

That leaves me, little old white haired lady, standing in the aisle. Then I make eye contact with the nearest seated younger person than me, regardless of gender, smile, and politely ask "could I please sit down? "

Never failed yet.

Southwig22 · 03/12/2022 15:04

No entitlement to a seat because you chose to have a child. Nice though, for someone to choose to offer one to you because it looked like you were struggling.

Chouetted · 04/12/2022 03:51

CaronPoivre · 03/12/2022 08:59

You can tell whether someone is young and healthy enough to stand. I would continue to prompt the healthy young man having already stood myself. You only have to look at someone to know they have fibromyalgia.

I'm healthy, no mobility issues, and can stand normally, so long there's enough light for me to see.

I can't stand on a bumpy moving train, because my slightly shoddy proprioceptive system doesn't give me the feedback required to adjust my balance correctly.

How do you discern this?

Umtheboss · 09/08/2023 13:45

I have plexiform tumors on the souls of both feet it's painful but I can manage without sticks ....and will continue to do so till I can no longer walk. But I look healthy
...

limitedperiodonly · 09/08/2023 20:43

2bazookas · 03/12/2022 15:00

I still give up my bus/train seat to countless people frailer or more in need of it than me; regardless of gender. Disabled people, men carrying toddlers and shopping, pregnant women.

That leaves me, little old white haired lady, standing in the aisle. Then I make eye contact with the nearest seated younger person than me, regardless of gender, smile, and politely ask "could I please sit down? "

Never failed yet.

That's great. That is your decision made on your circumstances. Other people's are different.

I look fit and relatively young but I need my seat and I will have it and I won't stand up for anyone. I am frail, not at the stage where I have to have a seat but where I should have one if possible and it shouldn't be a competition between me and a woman who is pregnant or a frail man.

I don't mind leaning up against compartments nearest the doors or holding on to vertical poles in the central aisles with both hands at waist level, if I l have to - but I can't stand unaided. I am prepared to say to people taller than me or worse leaning on poles so I can't get a safe grip that they are going to have to budge up for me. Often they are affronted.

In many situations I would prefer to stand in a safe spot than wobble down a moving carriage to a seat in the middle of the aisle and wobble back out again.

I also need to hold on to the handrail while making my way upstairs from the platform and especially down to the platform. I will not give way. This has been a problem always with young men even when I've politely explained why I can't let go of the handrail. Maybe they feel personally offended at giving up their territory.

Last Thursday evening at Oxford Circus Tube at rush hour a young man behind me shouted to the git blocking my way down the steep steps: "Get out of her fucking way you arsehole!"

He did. When I got to the bottom I turned to say thanks and my large hero said: "No problem" and melted into the crowd.

His mum would be very proud and he will make some lucky person a very nice husband one day.

Caroparo52 · 30/08/2023 04:28

Someone offered me their seat. I was grateful to accept it. ... but it also shocked me that he thought I looked old enough to be offered an OAP seat

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 03/10/2023 00:02

My grandson is a toddler, and he is wild, 5 minutes of him rampaging around the carriage and people would be begging to give up their seats. Of course someone should have given you a seat.

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