Give up seat on the train

[ItsTheSmallThings]

AIBU to give up a seat on a busy train for a mum carrying a young toddler?

Did you prebook a seat?

Why didn't you just say no one gave you a seat in the first place rather than farting about and making us guess?

My answer would be yes I probably would but not if my feet hurt.

I wanted it to be more open as to not get the your entitled comments. Should probably not of posted on AIBU and just posted about when it's reasonable to give up seats.

Were you really that desperate to write a post?

1) You can't on many services 2) There are rasons why sometimes it just doesn't happen 3) Sometimes trains are 'fully booked' but reservations not used

It depends.

Was your toddler in the pram? Or do you have another baby in the pram and the toddler was standing?

Because if your toddler was in the pram, the toddler has a seat and the only person who was standing was you. So no, I wouldn't offer you my seat.

I can't pre book a seat for my regular trips - an hour hoping someone's handbag won't take offence at moving up.

I would give up my seat and I am mid sixties. Who would want a young child flung around or squashed ?

I find it better to be straightforward @ItsTheSmallThings.Try it. Not just on Mumsnet but next time you're on a train and need a seat.

I don't for pregnant people women

Fixed it for you!

Pram was folded and I was carrying her. Train was too full to have pram open so pram was in the luggage bit.

I just keep mine in the pushchair and stand by the door area.

Hi op people are rude and ignorant in general. The older ones are often the worse. I find the younger men/women and teenagers much more helpful.

Toddler does not need a seat or to be in your arms - just something to hang on to.

My 14 month old could not stand holding on as they'd been squashed. They'd have to be held

It genuinely wouldn't have been on my radar to offer but if you had asked, I would have no issue in giving you my seat.

Did you approach anyone? As I said, I'm more reluctant now but the obviously elderly/disabled etc are still 'noticable' (terrible for those with hidden disabilities but I do try to notice lanyards).

I wonder if they were all just in their own heads going about whatever, rather than thinking they wouldn't offer, IYSWIM?

Don't know whether to laugh of applaud 😂 👏

If someone looked like they were struggling (for whatever reason) then I would if I felt up to standing myself.

I've noticed this before. Young teenagers opening doors or offering help with the pushchair, where as older people just close the door on me or tut at me.

I wouldn't. I've got an obvious disability and still have to ask

Mumsnet, the place where you can ask questions and get opinions. Only instead of giving opinions people all just turn into cranks and accuse people of all kinds. Amazing isn't it 🤣

Honestly no I wouldn’t give up my seat in this situation and I have 4 kids and don’t drive and no one has ever offered me a seat because I had a toddler with me!

This is just such a non story, you got a seat! What are you outraged about? What does it matter what other people would or wouldn’t do in an imaginary situation?

Wow, everyone is arsey this evening. Perhaps no one got a seat…

Always always because toddlers are a pain in the arse and it’s easier for me (usually) to stand and hang on than it is a toddler and I can more easily cope with standing than I can with “toddler being flung about, bonking its head, screaming, stressed mum” nearby my seat, you know?

That said I had a literal standup battle the other day when everyone wanted to give me a seat on the bus (heavily pregnant) but I had a support belt on that would have had to come off, and by the time I’d sat down I’d need to stand up again and it’s a MISSION; it was me vs a bus load of chivalrous people. Felt I was letting the side down for pregnant people everywhere because next time they might not offer.

I'd give up my seat for a disabled/elderly/heavily pregnant person, but not for an able bodied adult with a child.