The Lady Hussey racism thing

[Tiiiiiiiiiiired]

I am really conflicted about this.

If went to live in Japan (I did live there for 3 years several years ago) I would be expected to be asked about where I'm from because I don't look Japanese (and in fact I was asked many times! I didn't mind at all, it was my choice to be in Japan and I knew I didn't look japanese). If I chose to stay in that country and have children, I'd expect my children would be asked the same, and their children and that although they would be Japanese by birth, I would hope they would be happy to talk about their heritage and where they are from and not mind being asked why they don't look Japanese and what the history is. I wouldnt think it racist and wouldn't want such questions to be stopped because we only learn from others, and about others, by talking and feeling safe to ask questions.

So why in the UK does everyone have to be sooo careful with what they say? This woman has a non English name, was wearing some non western clothing, as was asked about her heritage. Why is this abuse?

We need to stop being so sensitive and allow dialogue.

@TeaKlaxon it is comparable. I have interactions that people may class as racist and I have had these my whole life.
I don't really care, I think it's just people reacting to seeing an unusual surname.
No it's not the same interaction as this, but in general my point is that I am British and people query whether I am all the time.

This.

Lady Hussey didn’t ask about her heritage. She kept asking (repeatedly) where the lady was FROM. She was from the UK but Lady Hussey wouldn’t accept that! I felt her questioning was very offensive!

Why/how was there a transcript of the conversation?
If it was recorded on mobile surely it would have been polite to ask permission beforehand? Or perhaps she did.

You don't sound conflicted OP. You seem quite sure of your opinion.

Could the conversation have gone differently? Yy but I guess the issue is why you think it was on NF to steer the conversation on rather than on SH to adapt to what was happening. SH was representing the host. NF was a guest.

My surname is obviously a certain nationality. I often get asked if I'm x. DH has an accent and he also gets asked often if he is y. Both are loaded questions since the UK has a long history of racism and discrimination against x and y. DH will often avoid answering when he is asked. He doesn't want to deal with the inherent prejudice and stereotypes.

I'm probably not the right person to ask because I could bore for Britain on the subject of my ancestry. I am proud of my heritage and enjoy talking about it. I can accept that others feel differently though.

Japan is perhaps a bad example as its still pretty closed off so you woud stand out.

Black and Asian people have been here since the 50s through government supported immigration and settled here. So they have been here should not be a surprise.

They've been here for generations, so (a) there is no real need to ask where you're from unless you fully expect 'birmingham' as much as 'botswana'. Even more so no need to follow up with lots more questions becuase it comes across like you're old colonial English looking for the 'ancestral' home. And in that case why aren't we doing that to white people becuase most of them wont have originalaly been from Birmingham.

Answer - because its racist.

I am mixed race but from overseas and people ask about my accent…I thought I was ok to ask about other people..but I am rethinking that now.
Lady Hussey was being bossy by the sounds of it and just plain rude!!
the only thing is just because Lady Hussey was acting rudely doesn’t mean anyone can make the jump to this being a sign the royal family is racist!
thats the equivalent of any of our friends saying something off and then we are called racist when we weren’t even there!!
I love the fact Harry who is well known for wearing a nazi costume is getting an award for bringing down racism in the royal family??

@TeaKlaxon people also make comments like "oh you do look Latvian" etc.... what does that even mean?
But like I said sometimes these comments are said out of innonece and sometimes of course it will be ignorence.

Yes, exactly.

I cannot understand any reasons why anyone can think this is not serious.
Lady Hussey didn’t ask about her “culture”, her “heritage” or anything. She didn’t ask about the charity she represented, which was the entire purpose of the meeting. And she touched her hair…

I would never condone racism however I did find it odd that Ngozi was able to repeat verbatim what was said .
Given her well documented criticisms of the RF , I was actually surprised she attended the event.

Demographics of Japan.
Japanese 98.1%, Chinese 0.5%, Korean 0.4%, other 1% (includes Filipino, Vietnamese, and Brazilian) (2016 est.)

So seeing a white person who is clearly Japanese might be something of a novelty.

I can't imagine where some of you live in the UK that is so equally undiverse that you would assume a black person was foreign?

OP, I have also lived in Japan for the best part of a decade and I absolutely understand what you mean. I think unless you’ve lived there, you don’t understand what it’s like - those who assume “it wouldn’t be a slight” are incorrect - sadly racism is alive and kicking in Japan.

It's not being soooo careful with what you say to accept somebody's answer when they tell you where they are from if you've asked them. You'll note Ngozi Fulani gave her an answer about being from her organisation and where that was based - because this was a work function. I doubt Hussey would even have asked her where she was from in the personal sense if she wasn't black. But in any case Fulani told her - Hackney. This woman basically exists to attend social functions where good manners are paramount and people send subtle messages with which fucking handbag they choose to bring, so she knew what she was doing and if she didn't she should have. Belittling. Othering.

People starting threads to doubt this was racist behaviour are making it worse by gaslighting the people who experience this stuff every day. Just stop it.

I don't really care

But that’s just the point, white people can afford not to care. You are the dominant majority.

Have you been subjected to being asked 6 times where are you from by the same person?

Lady SH: Where are you from?
Me: Sistah Space.
SH: No, where do you come from?
Me: We’re based in Hackney.
SH: No, what part of Africa are YOU from?
Me: I don’t know, they didn’t leave any records.
SH: Well, you must know where you’re from, I spent time in France. Where are you from?
Me: Here, UK
SH: NO, but what Nationality are you?
Me: I am born here and am British.
SH: No, but where do you really come from, where do your people come from?
Me: ‘My people’, lady, what is this?
SH: Oh I can see I am going to have a challenge getting you to say where you’re from. When did you first come here?
Me: Lady! I am a British national, my parents came here in the 50s when …
SH: Oh, I knew we’d get there in the end, you’re Caribbean!
Me: No Lady, I am of African heritage, Caribbean descent and British nationality.

In which case this isn't the episode of extreme violence that Ngozi has described it as, it's a matter of semantics. Most people would consider "where are you from" and "what is your heritage" to be largely the same question. If Ngozi doesn't then that's fine, she is entitled to have her view on the nuances of what she is being asked. But it doesn't follow that everyone shares her view on that, and it doesn't follow that everyone who doesn't share her view on that is a deliberate racist.

Haven’t read the whole thread and it’s a bit of a tangent, but being born in Japan doesn’t make you Japanese in the eyes of the Japanese, I think they class it as your have to be Japanese back to your Grandparents?

Not just racist - I think some of this is down to good old class superiority too. She has been brought up to think she's better than everyone else and probably thinks we should still be doffing our caps and how dare someone not just answer her question.

To be honest I didn't realise this was considered to be a micro-aggression until a few years ago and have been definitely guilty of the "where are you really from" thing but it's not trying to label someone or make them feel like they don't belong, it's just interest in someone's heritage/background nosiness about where they are from

Interestingly I saw someone posting on Linkedin yesterday about this, she is white but from overseas and has an accent that you can't place, so she gets asked this all the time. But when I lived overseas I had an obviously English/British accent, so people knew where I was from. It was irritating to be constantly asked where I came from in the UK though and for it to be the guiding characteristic and always introduced as someone's English friend, why not just say this is Liese I met at swimming or whatever.

I think this applies even to British heritage people though. If someone asks me where I am from there are a lot of possible answers:

where I was born
where I grew up
where I live now
my parents' heritage

all of these are different places, although I was born in the same county as my father. My mother is of Irish heritage.

Lady H tweeted the conversation

There’s a huge difference between- what’s your heritage- asked in the course of a polite and respectful conversation, and the questioning in this case.

I have also lived overseas, Latin America, and never been subjected to where are you from? No where are you from? No, where are you really from? No, what nationality are you? No - as nauseam.

Every person who has asked me where I’m from has accepted my response of Britain.

Most people would not considered them the same question at all…

Why are you directing this comment at me?

It definitely seems racist to me.
However, there are a few queries I have.
She should not have moved Ms Fulani's hair, but presumably a name badge is meant to be seen, so if given a name badge, make sure it can be seen. In this instance, they are both at fault, but Lady Hussey should have asked her name, rather than touch her hair.
I understand that Ms Fulani was wearing some kind of African heritage dress, rather than the typical wear of other British (white or otherwise) guests. In which case, I would be interested to know the background of the dress. Which heritage the dress is from; and was that the same. Otherwise, nowadays, we are often told we cannot wear costumes or clothes from other countries, without it being described as cultural appropriation. Therefore my assumption is that Ms Fulani had some kind of cultural heritage from the country of the typical clothes she was wearing, that could in itself invite some questions.
However, not the questions asked, and it was clear from the first reply, that Ms Fulani did not want to elaborate further.

So you are agreeing the interaction is racist? That's not the point the op was making.

I agree. It was racist.

Haha this reminds me: Something "similar" happens to me. People ask where I am from and when I answer "India" some of them say "oh I've been to India". The funny thing is it's never followed by anything like "lovely country. I'd love to visit again" but usually by "People pee in a hole on the ground and nobody has heard of toilet paper" or "there are cows on the road." I wouldn't be surprised if friends said this after visiting India but I hear this from complete strangers who I've just been introduced to me two minutes ago.

Imagine being introduced to someone and in the next minute you find yourself having to explain why the country of your origin prefers a particular style of toilet and doesn't think toilet paper is hygienic ( in case anyone was wondering. It's not that Indians are too primitive to use toilet paper. Most of them just think it's not hygienic enough).

So yeah with that background I see why anyone might just want to avoid all that and say they are British.