Lift for 5 years - AIBU?

[Pinot4me]

I go to a hobby / interest 4 times a year. It’s a 60 mile round trip but it’s worth it. I really enjoy it and have met some lovely people.
We always go for a meal afterwards. I can never drink because I am always driving. 5 years ago somebody from the same village as me joined the group. She isn’t really a friend, more a neighbour that I am friendly with. She drove herself there for the first couple of times and then asked me if I would give her a lift. I naturally assumed that we would lift share but it just never happened.
She has never offered to drive me or contributed towards my fuel costs. So, basically we all go out and she has several drinks with her meal and I can only have one small one and we leave.

I have taken some annual leave next week and I asked her if she would drive as I really fancied having a few drinks for a change. She very reluctantly agreed but it was awkward and I could see she wasn’t keen.
She has messaged me today saying that she can’t imagine going out and not being able to have a few drinks (grim ) and that she had booked a taxi at a cost of £80 return. She then said so, half n half £40 each..

AIBU to be annoyed? I can’t afford £40 and I think she is cheeky to ask given that she has had free lifts for 5 years!

I’ve composed the following response but haven’t sent it yet… I suppose I am sense checking in case I am the one who is being unreasonable.

“ I can confirm that is indeed pretty grim to drive whilst everyone else drinks. It is what I do every time we go. I’m not up for sharing a taxi - I can’t afford it. Don’t worry about it, I will see you there”.

I honestly don’t feel inclined to give her a lift in future but don’t want the hassle of feeling awkward or causing upset.

Thoughts please.

What a fabulous end for you - no more scabbing off you, a hotel for the night so she can't have a last minute issue with the taxi and you can have a lovely Christmas do and peaceful night.

Ftttttttt, her tears are all for her - I note she hasn't apologised for not having ever offered any petrol money, nor for never offering to drive you.

It's all "But Meeeeeeeeeeeeee" the atrocious cunt.

Watch out for her suddenly discovering that there's a problem with the taxi going home, and seeking to recruit the others to guilt-trip you into driving her back.

She also called me out and said that I didn’t given her a lift for 5 years. We didn’t go during lockdown! Unbelievable!

Omg wow😂 she sounds so ridiculous! Well done for standing your ground OP. You did a nice thing giving her a lift for so long but wow, what a CF indeed

Superb, OP, you are amazing, bloody well done for calling her out. I can’t believe she’s quibbling over not going during lockdown! CF!

"If a taxi is £80 then I'll drive you there for £70. Actually, why don't we back calculate it over the last 5 years at that rate?"

Aside from her taking the piss, have you considered getting a room somewhere for the night? Could probably find a place nearby for similar money as the taxi fare. Then you can both have a couple of drinks (but not a skin full obviously) and drive back next day.

I don't get the 'gotcha' about OP potentially booking a cheap hotel room when she said she couldn't afford £40 for a taxi. Maybe she's re-evaluated the cost-benefit of the two options. 'Can't afford' doesn't always mean 'I do not have this money at all' but is also used to decline something you feel is profligate - such as paying £40 for a taxi when you already have a car of your own available.

This is a fabulous result! Going on her attitude to date, I'm not at all convinced that CF wouldn't have agreed the £40 each and then suddenly 'discovered' that she'd forgotten her purse when it came to paying the taxi driver - and may have needed to 'borrow' £40 that would never have been repaid. The CF logic being 'well, you can either pay to drive us there and back or you can pay for somebody else to drive us there and back - I'm not fussy!' She could even have continued the 'forgotten purse' narrative with her crocodile tears and got everybody else to sub her drinks and meal for the evening as well.

Well done, OP, for finally managing to brush off the parasite once and for all!

cheeky fucker-dont tell her youve got a hotel say youre staying with family or a friend close by or she'll just assume she can crash with you

Oh ffs!!!!!

Oooh my mum’s friend use to do this ! So when it was her turn and she offered to go halves on a taxi, I’d get drafted in to drive them both & save the cost.
Unbelievable !

5 years! But better late than never! Well done OP, please stay firm.

The CFs always ruin it for themselves in the end. If she had driven you on this occasion, you would have banked that goodwill and probably given her lifts for another 5 years

So glad to hear this! Enjoy your weekend away 🍷 🍷

Well done Op - great you've got strong boundaries!

Just what I was thinking. Say nothing about staying over.

Have a wonderful time. Make sure you have an extra glass of fizz and wave it in a cheers way at her across the table. If she comes over to speak to you tell her you’ve used much less petrol without her in the car, she must weigh a ton!

You’ve done so well with this cf. have experienced similar with certain people who we spent a lot of money on. In the end I got incredibly angry with dh for doing nothing and sorted it out myself. I became a pariah for standing up for myself. These people really liked the status quo.

Even better

Think I'd just put, I can't afford that taxi fare, I'll make other arrangements for myself. Leave her to figure it out.

Your no idiot people like this sadly see good souls as a weakness. Glad you've brushed her off !

Unbelievably cheeky. I’d definitely send it - good for you

Good for you.

Let us know how it goes and what she does in the night!!

1% voted yabu? That has to be OPs former carmate!

Good for you, OP! I wish I was like you!