Did you enjoy having a newborn?

[Apregnantworrier]

I am pregnant with a very much loved and wanted baby.

But everyone around me seems desperate to tell me how awful it’s going to be - I won’t have time to eat, sleep or wash. I will hate my body and never be slim again or even have time to care how I look and my relationship will be the worst it’s ever been.

I know it’s luck of the draw as to how easy you’re baby is but I’m so excited for the next stage and to meet my baby and for them to get here safely and be healthy but I’m also looking forward to feeling a bit better than I do in pregnancy and more myself eventually.

Surely (given a lot of people have more than one child) the good outweighs the bad?

Yep I loved it. shower i would wait until nap time and take the monitor or wait until husband was home.
To start she napped in her cot so i ate then, then she went through a phase of napping on me so I'd eat around that and make sure i had snacks and drinks for while on me, that lasted about 2 months then she'd nap in her pushchair so i could eat whenever. You adapt
Mines 6 now and I've loved every stage

It was tough but as DD grew up it was soooooo worth it. The newborn phase is short in the grand scheme of things. And doing it all again now, it’s 9 years later so I’ve forgotten the exhaustion 😂

Ignore the negative people, please ignore them. Yes it is hard, yes you will be tired, but you will be fine and I hate that people constantly feel the need to go on and on and on about how bad it is.
Im expecting my second and my MIL was the worse for going on about "you don't know what's going to hit you", "You're going to have no time to yourself" or "you'll be tired so get used to it". Like F off I'm not stupid but it's not what you need to hear!

I found it great fun because it was a real novelty. That said, mine was a good sleeper for the first few months, which helped. But he is getting more and more fun the older he gets so I'm not sure having a newborn baby again sounds appealing to me now I've done it once!

I think whether you enjoy it or find it awful depends a lot on your baby, your own temperament, your support and circumstances etc. But newborn stage only lasts a few months so either way it'll fly by!!! 😄

pp, whoever you are, I most definitely agree with you!

A lot of years ago I had my first baby..I was in hospital for the customary 7 days. I went home and never looked back. We had a few issues with feeding which were quickly settled after I ignored the HV advice..never had any more problems. The same with my second child. I also worked evenings in a local restaurant. I don't think I was rarity nor my babies.

God I hate it when people are like this. I think realistic expectations are good but honestly nothing can prepare you for it. There's a trend on tiktok where it says something like "just wait until.." but they're good things like first smile, laugh, etc., and I love seeing them when I'm in the thick of parenthood and struggling to notice the amazing moments that genuinely do happy daily <3

I loved having a newborn (well, the second time anyway, DC1 dropped too much weight after birth and I struggled to establish breastfeeding so for those reasons it was an anxious time) but if I could go back and do it again I would. Yes you get sleep deprived, no it isn't always possible to shower but it's so worth it. They are so small and helpless but they're YOURS to love and nuture and its wonderful. When the crying got a bit much I tried to see it from the baby's point of view - they're just a little bundle of needs and it's the only form of communication they have, and realising it it helped me stay calm.

I really loved it and didn't find it hard at all especially with my first. Honestly this is at least in part due to the fact I have horrendous tokophobia and the fact that I had reached my c-section dates and all had gone to plan both times meant I was on cloud 9 and nothing felt as difficult as the previous 9 months had.

I suspect I still would have enjoyed it anyway. It was harder with my second though, he had a tongue tie which made trying to breastfeed very difficult. I managed it but drove myself insane in the process.

Oh and btw I don't agree with the having no time for a shower nonsense. No you might not have time for an hour long bath but you will have time to jump in the shower for a few mins. I can't be dealing with that kind of martyrdom, they aren't bombs and won't explode if you leave them to go to the toilet/shower/get a drink etc etc.

It's fine if youre not trying to do other things or trying to stick to a normal sleep routine. If you jist go at it very relaxed, no time pressure, no trying to escape from baby, just be present for a year it's way easier. Dont worry about silly milestones like rolling over or smiling, dont worry about sleep being when you think it should be, just go with the flow.

I don't think it's useful to tell a pregnant woman that it will be awful, any more than birth horror stories are useful.

It's gorgeous and amazing to have a tiny creature blinking up at you and snuffling and gawping around. Total magic.

Not so magic to deal with sleeplessness, breastfeeding trouble, birth injuries, reconfiguring your relationship, managing the stress of all the responsibility.

There's good and bad. Overall it's not a period I remember fondly tbh but there are plenty of good elements.

It was all highs and lows, a rollercoaster. Wouldn’t do it again, no regrets I did it twice. Your friends sound like a miserable lot. Tell them to sod off.

I absolutely loved the newborn stage and look back with such fondness.. enough to make me want another one

Thank you all - I will start putting a pp plan in place.

we don’t live near family so visits / help will be in the form my mum staying for a few weeks here and there and then nothing for a while. So perhaps will look into a maternity nurse occasionally.

I am sure DH will be amazing - he gives everything in his life 100% (more than I can say for me) and I won’t be breastfeeding.

I learnt in lockdown that fresh air and exercise impact my mental health more than socialising so I’m hoping I will fare ok being cosy at home with my baby if all goes well.

I loved the newborn stage. The snuggles, the stilted movements, the cross eyed stares.
But my goodness, I couldn’t go back to it. The sleep deprivation was very, very hard.

Loathed more or less every moment of my first-born's first year. He screamed his head off. Never found out why despite loads and loads of professional input.

Second, born 2 years later, considerably easier.

I so much more enjoyed their toddler-hoods, and going forwards.

Love the newborn stage. My first was an absolute dream baby...I thought other mums were mad when they said they were struggling! Genuinely couldn't understand it. When it's your first, you can just chill all day on the sofa watching telly...bliss

First time round, nope. I found it really stressful. My life felt like it was blown into a million pieces and I was quite lost. Mind you, we did also emigrate half way round the world when he was 3 months old 🙄.

second time round, i loved every minute and savoured every single cuddle.

Oh i loved having newborns!! If they stayed babies I'd have had a dozen!!

Ignore people being dicks....

Congratulations on your pregnancy op!

Just like the previous posters, it depends on the type of baby you've been given! I absolutely hated the newborn stage- it was relentless- feeding, burping, changing, etc. and my life revolving around this little, angry baby's needs. It was only when my babies became toddlers that I began to see what other people talked about when they waxed lyrical about the joys of parenthood!

with your first you will have time,
but you have to fit it around your lo
it is a shock to the system
but it will be worth it

I used to say I loved newborns and couldn't wait to have one. I though I've have one then want another as soon as my newborn was a toddler.

Fast forward a few years and after having a much tried for baby- I can say I hated the newborn stage.

I suffered majorly from PND, my son cried non stop for the first year pretty much and I hated motherhood.

Not everyone has the same experience though so you have to judge for yourself but I cried myself to sleep so many nights feeling like I had made a massive mistake.

Ps. I wish my friends had been realistic about how life would be like post-babies. I was given the sugar plum fairy version and what a shock my actual reality was like. I felt like a failure and put so much pressure on myself to feel what other mums were feeling. Argh- I wouldn't do it again.

It was exhausting but I loved it! Ignore these people they haven’t got anything constructive to say.