To think this is rude?

[LosAmigos]

I took my mum and her husband out for lunch yesterday and paid.

My mum is a difficult woman and her husband is not someone I like very much but as my mum seems to have been trying harder later, I thought I would make the effort.

We were waiting for the food to come and my mum was whinging about it taking ages (it wasn't, it was just being cooked from fresh). Eventually it came and as they had both eaten theirs, announced they were going outside for a cigarette and would wait for me out there. I protested but it fell on deaf ears. I was halfway through my meal and had to sit and eat alone. Is this fucking rude? They don't seem to think so. It's for this reason that I keep them at arms length.

YANBU, they are rude. You know what they’re like, never treat them again.

I would never treat them again either. It’s incredibly rude.

Very rude. I stopped going out with a particular group of people as 3 of them smoked and they would be up and down between courses to go out and smoke. It was ridiculous.

I would say YABU.

They are cigarette smokers and you expected them to wait until you had finished your entire meal because it had taken so long to cook and arrived after their meals had already been cooked, eaten and removed from the table?

I would say you're an idiot.

OP, not only were they rude, they were ungrateful, inconsiderate and dismissive.
They could have waited the short while you would have taken to eat, unless you were going to be an hour or something.

I would not waste my time or money on them again. Not all Mum's are great Mum's.

They are cigarette smokers and you expected them to wait until you had finished your entire meal because it had taken so long to cook and arrived after their meals had already been cooked, eaten and removed from the table?

Yes. That would be polite behaviour. At the very least they could have taken turns if so very desperate.

@Keyansier Our meals came out together. They eat quickly and I don't eat like such an animal.

Yes this is horribly rude. I wouldn't extend the invite again after that.

Were you never taught the basic manners of not leaving the table til everyone finished? Its not done in many homes now but restaurants it's polite. You don't just walk off from the table in a social setting like that.

Don't bother again. If they really needed a fag before leaving they could have went out quickly and separately so you weren't left eating alone.

I smoke and I wouldn’t do this.
I’d just wait till everyone was ready to go.
x

That's rude, I would never have done this when I smoked.

YANBU, that is rude behaviour.

YANBU, thats really rude. Smoker or not, they can wait until the other person has finished eating and not leave them alone.

Thanks all for your replies.

They both have form for just generally not giving a shit about anyone but themselves. I long to go NC or very low contact but as I live in the same village, it will be hard.

If you can’t go, can’t you go LC at least, so you’re not having meals with them (and definitely not paying for their meals)?

Just go NC

Very rude .

Rude.

But...if you know they are like this and accept it for what it is you may have a relarionship. Dont eat with them again and enjoy the peace from him?

Very very rude, your mother has no manners.

Really inconsiderate of them to the point of mean. YANBU OP and I don't know what to suggest but it's very bad form.

Your mum is a lost cause. You need to let this one go. My cousin has a mum similar to you and she still tries to build a relationship with her, my aunt just isn't interested never has been. It's heartbreaking to see my cousin so crestfallen when she goes out of the way for her mum, only for her to forget her birthday and make demands of her. You need to go nc, you won't find what you are looking for.

You clearly have the manners of a slug!!

OP they were unbelievably rude!! Happy to shovel down their free food but not interested in sitting for another 5/10/15 minutes until you had finished. Yeah I think I would be low contact too. And no more free meals out either!!

Chronic bad manners and very ungracious. Don't waste your money next time.

They are cigarette smokers and you expected them to wait until you had finished your entire meal

I've known many cigarette smokers. I've never known one do this.