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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is rude?

64 replies

LosAmigos · 27/11/2022 17:11

I took my mum and her husband out for lunch yesterday and paid.

My mum is a difficult woman and her husband is not someone I like very much but as my mum seems to have been trying harder later, I thought I would make the effort.

We were waiting for the food to come and my mum was whinging about it taking ages (it wasn't, it was just being cooked from fresh). Eventually it came and as they had both eaten theirs, announced they were going outside for a cigarette and would wait for me out there. I protested but it fell on deaf ears. I was halfway through my meal and had to sit and eat alone. Is this fucking rude? They don't seem to think so. It's for this reason that I keep them at arms length.

OP posts:
Jamesmg · 16/03/2023 18:26

They are total and utter wankers.

Butchyrestingface · 16/03/2023 18:40

I would say YABU.

They are cigarette smokers and you expected them to wait until you had finished your entire meal because it had taken so long to cook and arrived after their meals had already been cooked, eaten and removed from the table

Christ. I wondered where he'd got to. Thought he must have finally drowned in his own verbal diarrhoea but apparently not. Grin

YANBU, OP. Wouldn't be wasting money on this pair again.

PlateBilledDuckyPerson · 16/03/2023 18:42

YANBU. If they were that desperate for a smoke, they could have gone out one after the other so you weren't left alone at the table.

hattie43 · 16/03/2023 18:45

Very rude

HappyMe6 · 10/04/2023 19:39

So you invited them both , you paid they ate their dinner much faster than you did and off they trotted for a fag! Rude buggers!

Burgoo · 10/04/2023 19:41

99% of these issues are related to how you communicate it to the other person.

I would personally say how much you appreciate being with them and that you want some time spent etc. Try to bring the topic to why you want what you want and to give them a reason to do the same.

Sennelier1 · 16/05/2023 08:20

I teach my very young grandchildren to politely ask "may I leave the table please" if and when the adults take longer to eat or to just sit and talk 🤷🏼‍♀️

MakesMeFeelSad · 16/05/2023 08:23

Bloody hell, ZOMBIE thread. I was just thinking I'd read this before

underneaththeash · 16/05/2023 08:25

Keyansier · 27/11/2022 17:17

I would say YABU.

They are cigarette smokers and you expected them to wait until you had finished your entire meal because it had taken so long to cook and arrived after their meals had already been cooked, eaten and removed from the table?

I take it you don't have many friends!

user1473878824 · 16/05/2023 08:28

Keyansier · 27/11/2022 17:17

I would say YABU.

They are cigarette smokers and you expected them to wait until you had finished your entire meal because it had taken so long to cook and arrived after their meals had already been cooked, eaten and removed from the table?

You’re a very ill mannered person then

Sparkletastic · 16/05/2023 08:31

Has this ZOMBIE THREAD been resurrected three times now? It's truly the gift that keeps on giving 😳

Goodread1 · 16/05/2023 08:51

The very Fact you made effort to take them out and paid especially after the history of what they are usually like,

Shows what selfish ungrateful Twats 😤 they really are, @LosAmigos

They are simply not worth energy making an effort at all by the sounds of it,

Don't ever bother paying them for anything at all like that,

Go seriously so low contact to bare minimum or non contact preferably if possible,

You said living near so close is real issue to going low contact or non contact

What you need to do is either make excuses when you envitability come across them in village or town, city,

you could make blatantly obviously lame excuses , " like this>
like oh I got to wash my today, can't come out, otherwise I will catch a cold"
that old chestnut excuse type of idea,
or
Pretend you are allways busy, in a rush to do or go somewhere, whatever that may be,

also if shops nearby , you can allways duck into nearby shop, if you spot them up the street coming up,
or
You could be brutally honest straight to the point,
as in they don't give a shit about your feelings at all,
So likewise, why care a shit about their feelings at all ....

It's a case of " you reap what you sow, " and instant karma , if you mistreat people, in some way ,sooner or later ,they will act accordingly, to that kind of behaviour ect...

Goodread1 · 16/05/2023 08:54

Oops typo omission mistake, I ment to say "oh i have to wash my hair"

Booklover40 · 16/05/2023 08:57

Keyansier · 27/11/2022 17:17

I would say YABU.

They are cigarette smokers and you expected them to wait until you had finished your entire meal because it had taken so long to cook and arrived after their meals had already been cooked, eaten and removed from the table?

Errr….yeah. That would be normal behaviour from a decent human being.

I take it you are one of the baccy brigade who is gasping for a fag every 10 mins?

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