To be hurt non of Dps family attended my baby shower

[StrawberryKitty]

Had baby shower yesterday organised by my best friend.
It was a very relaxed affair. But I was surprised that non of dps family were there.
Upon asking my friend mil had said she would come and didn't turn up. Dp phoned her to check she was OK (incase she had had a fall or forgotten) and she said she decided to go out for a coffee with her friend instead.
Sil 1 said she doesn't go to baby showers except has posted today that she can't wait to go to someone else's today and there are loads of pics on fb of her at other showers.
Sil 2 said she wouldn't know anyone so declined the invite. Except she would have known me, sil 1 and mil if they had come.

It wasn't a massive affair, about 10 friends came and it was actually really nice, I had a lovely time. There was no expectation of a gift, my friend made that clear on the invite (a few people didn't bring gifts and I was just happy to have them there) and we provided all the food and drink so again there were no cost implications.
There were lots of kids there too so the invite was extended to the nieces and nephews if they wanted to bring them.
I also found out that dp had offered to pick them all up and drop them home so they could have a glass of wine/bubbly if they wanted to.
I just feel a little hurt and rejected that after being with dp for 10 years they couldn't make the effort to come. They go out together all the time and never invite me so I'm just beginning to feel perhaps there is more to this and that they don't actually like me.

@StrawberryKitty you don’t have to justify yourself. You did nothing wrong having a baby shower. Don’t let all the weird antisocial MN’ers make you feel bad 🤣

This^

@MakeMineALarge1 you’ve recently posted slagging someone with a new baby off for saying the phrase ‘contact nap’ tbh you just sound out of touch and out of it, maybe don’t comment if you had kids years ago and can’t move with the times

How is OP part of the problem? What problem? She didn't ask about the rights or wrongs of a baby shower. She asked if she was unreasonable for feeling hurt by the way she was treated by her in-laws. It has become a pile on about baby showers being something to be sneered at. Even some of the well meaning posters have prefaced their comments with the assertion that they don't like baby showers. Just in case someone gets the wrong impression.

@Blueeyedgirl21 haha.
Maybe I just don't like making a drama out of everything and you know just bring my kids up without having to have special names for everything.

@MakeMineALarge1 ok. Well I’ll reserve judgement on how you’re bringing your kids up , I could comment but I won’t enter into your brand of snide superiority

"That’s hurtful and rude. Baby showers are generally looked down on here on mumsnet but the facts are that MIL said she’d go then went with a ‘better’ offer - rude, SIL1 lied about her reason for not going and then shouted about attending someone else’s shower on Facebook - rude and SIL2, well I guess her reason is true given MIL and SIL1 didn’t go, so I take her out of it.
it is hurtful that they couldn’t be bothered OP, but they are what they are. Your lovely friends came and that’s what matters."

I agree with this, there are lots of 'I hate baby showers' posts but that's not the point, the point is if you've said you'll go, dont just not turn up because you've got a better offer, leaving your family to worry if you've had an accident. Don't lie about why you're turning it down when it's an obvious lie that will be found out. That's just shitty and yes shows that they don't actually care about you very much

Are you so bitchy to your own friends or do you have to exercise it on Mn because you have none??

Oh and I hate baby showers. But I wouldn't accept an invite and not turn up or turn down one and go to others. Those behaviours are rude and hurtful irrespective of your views on baby showers

Also you paid for your MIL food as she said she'd be coming. It's rude.

This is me tbh. I wouldn't go wouldn't mean I didn't like you

This. It’s just boring and weird. Just wait until the baby is born to celebrate.

I have a whole bunch of friends with babies and very few of them ever had a baby shower. They are popular with some groups of the population but not all.

chances are they just think baby showers are really for friends rather than family, I wouldn’t take it personally.

I think the main reason I don’t like baby showers is that there’s always drama if someone doesn’t turn up. What’s supposed to be a nice event (for the person having the baby, anyway) turns into an assessment of how much every invitee cares about the mum to be and the unborn baby.

I hate baby showers as I find them attention seeking and grabby, but have found that people don’t like to hear that, so I do usually fib about other plans. 9 times out of 10 that’s led to gossip and unpleasantness.

Or maybe I have friends who celebrate when baby is here, safe and sound.
Baby showers are attention seeking, no matter how much you dress them up, people don't like them!

Thank you.

YANBU

and I’m really eye rolling at the posters on here saying ‘it doesn’t mean they don’t like you’

of course it does

id be seriously stepping back from them

You don’t like them

try not to conflate your opinion with facts, it’s a bit silly

@MakeMineALarge1 no you don't like them. I don't like them. But lots of people do. Would be a strange world if everyone was the same.

Your unnecessarily nasty but I think you know that. You probably pride yourself in a sharp tongue no nonsense approach 🤮

I completely agree with this. MIL and SIL1 are utter dicks.

This.

Did you read the OP's posts? Yes they had. SiL was going to one today

Is it not the same level of "attention seeking and grabby" as an engagement/ birthday party though? What's the difference 🤔

SOME people don't like them

It doesn’t sound like you’re very close to be honest so I’m not sure why you are dwelling on it. What would they have added to the occasion?