Sister charging me?

[Arewerrallydoingthisnow]

I genuinely can’t work out if I’m being unreasonable. We have v little cash at the moment - nursery fees, mortgage increases, I’m working 2 jobs, kids at state schools etc - much like a lot of the population. Sister does not work. Her husbands family are RICH. So in fact not only does she not work, but he doesn’t either. They live off family money, have 2 kids in private school (paid for), a big house mortgage free, and expenses / cars etc paid for by family money.
i have been trying to sort some stuff in my house on a shoestring recently and after having redecorated our living room myself in evenings between kids and jobs etc I asked if she would have any time to bring over her carpet cleaner and help me move everything back as husband at work during days. She said yes great - came and helped and cleaned the carpets for us with her machine and spent some hours helping me sort everything out again. Note again neither she nor her husband work and both kids in school during the day. I was very grateful and asked her husband what she liked at the moment to buy her a gift to say thank you. To cut a long story short she then called and said she would invoice me for hours she’d spent helping and that when she got help in it was around £15/hr so she thought that was reasonable.
i was shocked as I cannot afford that for a start and would never ever have asked if I knew it came with a cost attached, but moreover I’m devastated about the reflection on our relationship that help is boiled down to a transactional cost. And with no prior warning at all. Aibu? Should I expect to pay?

Oh I see you paid her. Oh dear.

Tell her had you known you'd have hired a carpet cleaner and done it yourself. You can hire one for 24 hours for £25. Awful of her to do that.

Do you ever help her out? If so, you know to bill her &15 an hour from now on! If she refuses, ask for your £105 back

"Sorry but I can't afford that. Can do 50p a week". Hopefully she would then realise how much of a cow she is and will feel extremely guilty.

I would message her , hi I've discovered a problem with the carpet you cleaned, let me know how I claim off you ( presumably as a business you have liability insurance).

Haha. Obviously don’t do this, but the thought of it is brilliantly passive-aggressive.

Who bought lunch? If you did,I'd be asking for the money back for that.

Brilliant 😊

This is what I would send.

what a cow.

you don’t bill someone after

moreover I’m devastated about the reflection on our relationship that help is boiled down to a transactional cost

Its this isn't it? Tell her this.

@daisychain01 your bil situation is not the same as he runs a business so if you asked for solar panels you would be asking for him to do his job
The OP sister does not run a business , has no insurance or public liability and OP asked to borrow a carpet cleaner , I mean I would lend my neighbour my carpet cleaner
And they cleaned together a normal favour families do
£15 per hr OP could of hired someone

Might make any Christmas and birthday presents for respective families/children and social meals interesting the the future. Good luck, OP.

I can’t believe you paid her! That’s on you. Although this relationship won’t be the same now either way I guess.

Op I'm so sorry. This must he very painfull. My sister used to pull some funny things like this sometimes. Turns out our abusive mother was playing us off against each other and telling us both wicked lies about the other.
what's the relationship with your sister usually like?
Personally I would pull away now, go low contact and if she asks what's wrong I would tell her how hurt you are.

I can’t believe you paid her

i would have lent you my carpet cleaner for free

Please text her and tell her that there is a problem with the carpet she cleaned and you need her insurance

Oh well, she saw you coming!

@daisychain01 mates rates applies to someone who runs a business
Its a carpet cleaner she borrowed , The OP sister does not run a business
You seem to be getting that confused with things
My dh was. Self employed builder if he did building work for family they would expect to pay , if he picked them up from train station or helped carry some furniture he wouldn't bill them
£15 per hr is what a lot of companies would charge , ones who have overheads and insurance
She also sat and had lunch which she seems to of invoiced for

I know that. That is assuming she has no other passive income though, which if her family are wealthy she might (investment properties in her name etc). You also have to declare it, which I bet she doesn’t. And the tax office also doesn’t know whether or not this £100 is the only time she’s charged somebody.

Definitely bill her for lunch and itemise it.

It’s a terrible shame you paid her OP and so much.

Leaving the family angle aside for which she is a terrible human being - it’s totally unprofessional to charge for services you have not quoted for beforehand, let alone not having notified there would be a charge.

So even if she were a professional carpet cleaner and this was her bread and butter she was still in the wrong.

That is so odd. You either help your sibling or you say no I can't. You don't help and then Charge them!!
I'd ask her if he is financially abusing her?

I can't believe you paid her -

I mean I can understand why you did to just move on and out and end to it. But how cheeky is she!

I agree money is irrelevant and I often help friends/family and if I planned to charge for something a) I'd mention it upfront and b) it would be because I was particularly skilled at it! Most people would just offer up a takeaway or a token thank you item.

She's a giant tit.

Why the hell did you take this from savings? Cut her off

I would seriously reassess my relationship with her.

Don’t ask for a thing from now on and don’t do her any favours. No childcare, no meals, no chores, no nothing.

Just keep it formal and polite.