Sister charging me?

[Arewerrallydoingthisnow]

I genuinely can’t work out if I’m being unreasonable. We have v little cash at the moment - nursery fees, mortgage increases, I’m working 2 jobs, kids at state schools etc - much like a lot of the population. Sister does not work. Her husbands family are RICH. So in fact not only does she not work, but he doesn’t either. They live off family money, have 2 kids in private school (paid for), a big house mortgage free, and expenses / cars etc paid for by family money.
i have been trying to sort some stuff in my house on a shoestring recently and after having redecorated our living room myself in evenings between kids and jobs etc I asked if she would have any time to bring over her carpet cleaner and help me move everything back as husband at work during days. She said yes great - came and helped and cleaned the carpets for us with her machine and spent some hours helping me sort everything out again. Note again neither she nor her husband work and both kids in school during the day. I was very grateful and asked her husband what she liked at the moment to buy her a gift to say thank you. To cut a long story short she then called and said she would invoice me for hours she’d spent helping and that when she got help in it was around £15/hr so she thought that was reasonable.
i was shocked as I cannot afford that for a start and would never ever have asked if I knew it came with a cost attached, but moreover I’m devastated about the reflection on our relationship that help is boiled down to a transactional cost. And with no prior warning at all. Aibu? Should I expect to pay?

There was no contract or talk of cost before hand so legally she can't charge you.

You can be paid cash in hand £1000 a year and it’s not taxable so she’s not doing anything wrong and hmrc wouldn’t be interested

Once you've finished laughing, ask her for a signed copy of the contract you had with her. Then tell her to fuck off. What a horrible sister.

I could never imagine my family or friends doing this. We take annual leave to help each other.

If you had £15 an hour you would have paid a professional who would pay taxes and be insured. And wouldn't get lunch.

If she wanted payment she should have said at the beginning so you could have made an informed choice. Which would have been no. And she knew this.

I would feel sick. I also would not pay.

Clearly bullshit

Do you honestly check that your friends don't want paid for lifts in the car or if you go to theirs for lunch/dinner?

Do you both speak to your parents? My mum would have a lot to say about this and weirdly I'm in the process of lending my sister my carpet cleaner and steamer and have offered to help her...
I wouldn't dream of charging her!!

Wow I guess your sister values money over family. I hope you have other family.

I know you have paid her but you really must address this with her and tell her how shocked and saddened you are she charged you for a favour.
otherwise your resentment will grow and she is so thick skinned she will not even realise she has done anything wrong / unusual and any breakdown of relationship / communication will be blamed on you.

It's even worse knowing she's rich

That is awful. I can't imagine charging my sister for helping her.

If she wanted paying she should have told you beforehand then you'd have been able to choose!

I think you did the right thing paying her. Now you can be done with her.

I tell you one thing though. If she ever asks you for a favour, ever, tell her it's £15 an hour payable in advance.

If you normally buy her and her DCs Christmas presents, I would message her and say something like this -
“I have transferred you the money you requested for your services. Please do not buy any Christmas presents for my family this year. I had not budgeted on you charging me £105, and as this was money I could not afford, I will have to cut back on what I spend on my own children, so will definitely not be able to afford to buy for anyone else. Have a nice Christmas”.

Good Lord, my sister and I share pretty much everything, both of us are of the opinion that "what's hers is mine" 😁
I wonder whether her DH is very controlling and has insisted she invoive you?
I would text her and say that you were shocked to receive the invoice as you (obviously wrongly) assumed that she was just helping out of goodwill. Tell her that you will struggle to pay this amount and see what she comes back with.
If she wants to take this further ie small claims, I really don't think she would have a chance as no terms were agreed or even discussed.

It’s not her is it? I mean it’s him?

Ahhh sorry, can see that you paid! You are more honourable than me.

"Hi sis, I've transferred the money but I made a mistake. I stupidly forgot to take out the lunch hour, so if you get the chance, please could you transfer back £15. I'm sure you'd understand that self employed people don't typically earn in their lunch hour with clients.

Please don't worry about paying for the actual lunch, I realise I wouldn't have done that for a tradesperson but it would be tight of me to charge you the money for the ingredients.

Thanks so much for your time, it was nice to see you. If you need any help completing the tax return you'll need to do, please do let me know, I'm sure I'd work out cheaper than an accountant and you don't want HMRC on your back for unpaid tax.

Have a lovely day, and thanks again for the wonderful job you did."

OP - please don't fret, they must be either nasty or very twisted to charge you the way they have. I wouldn't want to live their lifestyle at all, especially your sister. She's a fool, in decades time if the relationship doesn't work out, she's going to be absolutely screwed (if not already). From now on, I wouldn't request any meet ups and I absolutely would charge them for any of your time going forwards

Just say, 'No. I can't pay you. I'm shocked that you, as my sister, asked. I asked you as a family member to give me some help. If I did this often, it would be using you. But I don't. This was a one-off.You know I am broke, you're not. I can't afford to pay what you've asked and if you had wanted money you should have mentioned this beforehand. But I promise never to ask you again.'

I don’t know anyone on even a low income who would do this to their sister, I certainly wouldn’t. Disgusting!

NO WAY!!! What the fuck.

OP, as others have said, you are not unreasonable! I can't believe people like this exist. It's always the most well off people who are the tightest with money I find.

Second those who suggest to charge for her lunch!

I could never consider her a true 'sister' after this! Disgusting behaviour!

You don't charge family for help. What a dick move.

You paid her?!!!!!!!!!

If she didn't want t help I don't know why she didn't just say no from the outset or say what she was prepared to do.

If you asked me to bring my cleaner over & move furniture I'd probably have said no but you were welcome to fetch the cleaner to use for example.

Don’t pay her, what’s she going to do, sue you? I’d give her a bloody good talking to. Don’t pussyfoot around her just because she’s ‘richer’ than you. She’s being a c*nt and let her know that.

I can't believe she invoiced you!! She could have said if she didn't want to help you - or that she would charge you.