Do you raise your kids to care about money when it comes to future career and lifestyle?

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I have been thinking about what advice I would like to give my kids regarding future jobs and careers - they are both still quite young. Yes, this comes from a position of privilege but has been spurred on my the current financial situation in the UK.

We currently live in London - I went to Oxford, have a PhD and work in academia. I earn ok but clearly not as much as I could be. All of my uni friends are the same - chose not to go into the city and are now on 60-70k in their 40s. They are all in managerial positions but dont seem as interested in chasing promotions or money at any price. Would rather go part time than hit the next salary mile stone. As far as I can tell - we all love what we do and are mainly in the arts, medicine, academia, publishing, think tanks etc.

By contrast, parents at my kids' school and my siblings are quite different and do tend to place a lot of emphasis on material wealth, the next promotion, competitive parenting - making sure you get the next thing, the bigger house, that promotion, become a partner, hit the next milestone. This also translates into how they raise their kids.

When I was younger - I clearly thought that doing something you love that pays less, getting a nice work life balance was better than going into the 'city' (could be anything else) and focusing primarily on the financial side of things. However, now that I have my own kids - and hit 40s - I am beginning to think that maybe my way is not better and actually chasing money and the next promotion, the nicer house and the next best thing is much smarter.

Is it that the world has change and money matters more or that I can grown up so to speak. How do you raise your kids and what do you tell them?

DH and I met whilst working at a red brick uni, he remains in academia. I get what you are saying about privilege as his wage is well over double the UK average but his friends who went in to banking with their Cambridge PhD qualifications are in probably in the top 1% of earners and all on mad levels of money, sort of 250k plus pa.

All I know is his research has possibly saved millions of lives though I do not know what it specifically was he did as he had to sign the official secrets act so he can’t tell me and hasn’t. I don’t think many people can say that, he will take what he did to his grave.

My brother was a research pharmacist until he retired and helped on the patent of a drug delivery system which is something to be immensely proud of and his wife worked researching cancer drugs. I was but a humble academic librarian but did help many students learn how to use databases and the internet as it was in its infancy back then. I worked in a science and engineering library so hope that some of those people I helped did worthwhile things.

OP the fundamental difference between your own experience and what your DCs will face is the vast difference in property and rental prices between then and now.

IMO I don't think young people can really afford to choose a job they like but that doesn't pay that well, unless they're extremely lucky and will have a lot of financial support from parents over the years.

But I don't think you need to advise them as such - in the digital age most young people know exactly what they're facing and what they need to do IME.

That sounds more like a command than advice!

How many jobs can you list that satisfy both those criteria??

Our DS is training as an emergency services worker, he has a really strong sense of community. He will never earn as much as his Father. He has seen me since retiring early do two voluntary roles and did come along a couple of times when he was at school. He was a straight A student with no effort academically but his gift are his quite frankly amazing verbal communication skills and helping people understand.

Totally agree

Agree with @Lampzade. This suspicion around ambition and success is not a great message to send your kids @healthadvice123.

Yes there are some jobs which demand huge commitment and a large number of hours of your week but there’s a middle ground between this and a total lack of ambition.

Plenty of people do manage well paid jobs which allow them balance and in fact you are more likely to achieve this by working harder when you are younger rather than just coasting on NMW. Of course money isn’t everything but it does remove a lot of the stress of life. I think actively discouraging your children to make money isn’t a great signal to send. Particularly girls.

I am teaching teenage DD that you only buy what you can afford, you don't get into debt and you save for things that you can't afford.

She is a C-grade student. She wants to work in musical theatre. I have told her she will need to move to London ultimately to do that, and that she will need to earn money to keep herself while at Uni/after that auditioning for jobs (if she gets that far). I don't want to crush her dreams, but it is very hard to make it in that world so I keep telling her that she also needs a backup plan.

I am trying to get her to consider other options based on what she is good at, so photography, advertising etc, and to realise that she will have to get a job somewhere doing anything in order to make a living.

Ultimately I just want her to be happy and to earn enough money to live on. I wasn't encouraged to go to Uni by my parents, but DD can go if she wants to, I won't put her off, but I am hoping she will change track and do an apprenticeship after leaving school.

I did professional training in my 20's and now run my own successful business. I put in a huge amount of hours , but I never missed a school event when she was little. She could join that if she wanted to but she is not interested which is fair enough.

I was raised that money doesn’t matter, do what you love and be spiritual, and that’s what important.

However, after a lifetime of this philosophy, my parents can’t afford the healthcare they need, and NHS wait lists for their issues are years long. Also they’re losing their home for financial reasons.

DH’s parents taught him that money is extremely important and that hard work at school will make you rich later. He now earns a lot.

I am raising my kids to be aware that money gives you power and makes you safe and enables you to look after those you love and that only a fool thinks it isn’t important. And that many of these low paid ‘do what you love’ arts jobs are actually thinly disguised hobbies for the rich.

I teach my children the value of money but no I don't teach them to go for the highest earning careers. I am a teaching assistant, their dad is a store supervisor and they have never gone without anything a day in their lives. I want them to value hard work, not money. We are not high earners but actually have never been in debt, have savings etc because we are both financially savvy so I would like to pass that on.

I want my children to grow up happy, wealth has nothing to do with this. Yes being poor is miserable but there is a middle ground where you can have financial security and a good work life balance. I want them to have this, not chasing wealth at every opportunity.

My son did year 7 at a private school and at 11 all his friends that I met were obsessed with everyone’s cars and houses, it was all they talked about and he was absolutely baffled as to why they were all so bothered at such a young age. I don’t want him growing up judging everyone on what they have, who you are is far more important.

How do you raise your kids and what do you tell them?

To be useful & responsible. I don't relate to high-achieving culture / ambitious people.

Lol

My view is exactly what @Januarcelebration said to her dd. She said it better.

"She recalls my advice has always been that the ideal career is one you quite like, have a reasonable aptitude for and earns well.

Money doesn’t make you happy. But lack of it, definitely makes people miserable. No point doing something you love, if money problems weigh over your life all the time because you are miserable. No point doing something that earns really well that you can’t stand because you will be miserable.

I think money should be a consideration. Not the be all and end all. But definitely part of the decision. It’s all a balance and considering money isn’t materialistic. "

I am honest with my children about what different things cost - housing etc.

I am clear with them that different types of jobs pay different amounts, and sometimes, being willing to work in something unpopular can mean you get paid a bit more because they can't find as many people willing to do that job.

I also explain that some jobs that earn a lot also expect a lot of you, and that that can be stressful and unpleasant and reduce family time, and that its important to balance things because money doesn't buy everything.

With standards of living in decline and it being so hard to buy a home or even rent one I think things are really changing for young people.

When people work really hard and don't seem to be able to achieve that much in terms of standard of living then working hard doesn't seem such a great idea.