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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’d want to do the same - mother kills children’s abuser

616 replies

HermioneKipper · 24/11/2022 08:18

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/sarah-sands-kill-sex-abuse-paedophile-b2231508.html

i think any parent would do the same if given the chance

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:32

HolidaysAreComin · 24/11/2022 11:30

I'm still not convinced I would, I can't even watch violence in a film, even just fist fighting. My husband once put kill Bill on years ago (not sure which one) she stabs someone in the first few mins, I made him turn it off and said do not ever put anything like that on again (very early on in our relationship 20 years ago and he never did!!). So I really don't think I would or could.

Then that’s one thing. I guess maybe you wouldn’t - most people wouldn’t. But I think you would feel differently, affected as you are by violence, knowing your own children had been the victim of the worst violence.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 24/11/2022 11:33

ellebelli · 24/11/2022 11:30

Exactly this.
Also going to jail and leaving your own children who you were trying to protect makes no sense.
They needed their mum and instead had to face the horror of abuse and then their mums actions.

Exactly - the murder act was all about the mother's personal feelings/beliefs and not about her kids. It was entirely self serving.

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:34

Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:15

A veneer of what? Not wanting it to be legal for men to rape and abuse children?

The ‘hatred and violence’ is anger and fear. When you know men can do almost anything and get away with it. They can even rape your kids then smirk at you from across the road the day after you report it. It isn’t ‘hatred and violence’ it’s a justifiable anger at a system that’s letting us down.

It isn’t legal to rape and abuse children, and it’s men and women doing it btw.

Whatevs. Call it what you want “fear and anger” not “hatred and violence” still doesn’t excuse stabbing someone to death. And there’s tons of hatred on this thread regarding paedophiles. Don’t deserve to live, kill them all, they’re evil from posters is pretty indicative of hatred and violence.

TheyCanAllGoFuckThemselves · 24/11/2022 11:34

InPraiseOfBacchus · 24/11/2022 11:33

Exactly - the murder act was all about the mother's personal feelings/beliefs and not about her kids. It was entirely self serving.

At least those kids know she's got their back, even if she wasn't there for a bit.

Wibbly1008 · 24/11/2022 11:35

Lockheart · 24/11/2022 08:37

But she wasn't the one who should have been there. She should have let justice take it's course, then he'd have been in jail and she'd have been around for her boys.

I doubt he would have been locked up for long. He had a history of being a paedophile and was continually let out to strike again. This whole situation could have been avoided if they had locked him up indefinitely. The poor family were a victim of a let down in the justice system that allowed this man free to change his identity, move house and start being a predator again.
they should take gavin Williams knighthood away and give it to this woman.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 24/11/2022 11:35

TheyCanAllGoFuckThemselves · 24/11/2022 11:34

At least those kids know she's got their back, even if she wasn't there for a bit.

"...for a bit"

luxxlisbon · 24/11/2022 11:35

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 24/11/2022 11:26

Peace of mind for her children who know they will never have to cross paths with him again. I would say thats worth it. Saving many more children from the same abuse. Thats worth it too.

Do you genuinely think her children are better off without their mother for almost 8 years?

And saving other children is worth it? No, no way would I sacrifice my life with my own children for random children I don’t know.

Obviously everyone is different but I really struggle to understand your outlook that killing this man and therefore leaving her children to deal with the aftermath of the abuse without their mother for close to a decade was ultimately worth it.

It could never be worth it imo.

It was poorly thought revenge that her children had to pay the price for.

Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:36

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:34

It isn’t legal to rape and abuse children, and it’s men and women doing it btw.

Whatevs. Call it what you want “fear and anger” not “hatred and violence” still doesn’t excuse stabbing someone to death. And there’s tons of hatred on this thread regarding paedophiles. Don’t deserve to live, kill them all, they’re evil from posters is pretty indicative of hatred and violence.

It is overwhelmingly men. Women very very rarely sexually abuse children, and when they do they often do alongside a man. There’s absolutely no point denying that.

And if a man can do it over twenty times and still change his name and come back for another go, it’s basically legal. There’s no justice there. And of course there’s hatred to child sex abusers! It would be odd if there wasn’t.

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:36

Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:29

He had already done it over 20 times!! Why do you think this is the time he’ll be thrown in jail to ‘suffer’ for life as some people seem to be imagining?

Because the other times he was handed down jail time? And the sentences get progressively harsher for reoffenders? It’s not hard to look up the sentencing guidelines.

TheyCanAllGoFuckThemselves · 24/11/2022 11:36

This reply has been deleted

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Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:37

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:36

Because the other times he was handed down jail time? And the sentences get progressively harsher for reoffenders? It’s not hard to look up the sentencing guidelines.

Yes, the other twenty times, after which he changed his name and did it again…

He would not have been in jail long enough to keep every other child safe from him. That’s a fact.

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:38

Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:36

It is overwhelmingly men. Women very very rarely sexually abuse children, and when they do they often do alongside a man. There’s absolutely no point denying that.

And if a man can do it over twenty times and still change his name and come back for another go, it’s basically legal. There’s no justice there. And of course there’s hatred to child sex abusers! It would be odd if there wasn’t.

No it’s not legal and so what it’s mostly men, my point is that it’s both men and women in case you were thinking it’s legal for men but illegal for women to abuse and rape children. I think you are confused- He had served jail time for his prior convictions. That’s an issue with sentences being too light, it’s not an issue of it being legal.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 24/11/2022 11:38

And there’s tons of hatred on this thread regarding paedophiles. Don’t deserve to live, kill them all, they’re evil from posters is pretty indicative of hatred and violence.

Thank fuck for that. If someone does hate nonces, there's something wrong with them.

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:39

Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:37

Yes, the other twenty times, after which he changed his name and did it again…

He would not have been in jail long enough to keep every other child safe from him. That’s a fact.

Whatever, still wrong to stab him to death. She’s no hero in my eyes.

CourtneeLuv · 24/11/2022 11:39

I'd be in favour of an eye for an eye, if they shouldn't be murdered.

Give them to big massive BDSM bloke and let them have what they did be acted out on them.

I'd support that.

oakleaffy · 24/11/2022 11:39

KimberleyClark · 24/11/2022 11:27

They won’t succeed.

I sincerely hope not.
When I first heard of MAP in relation to paedophiles I googled it- And there was a site up back then presenting attraction to children as acceptable ( In their eyes)

Appalling.
There seems to be no “ Cure” for it, either, as a lot of paedophiles reoffend.
Being able to name change is crazy.

Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:41

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:38

No it’s not legal and so what it’s mostly men, my point is that it’s both men and women in case you were thinking it’s legal for men but illegal for women to abuse and rape children. I think you are confused- He had served jail time for his prior convictions. That’s an issue with sentences being too light, it’s not an issue of it being legal.

I’m obviously not saying there isn’t laws against it, I’m saying people get away with it so overwhelmingly that it may as well be legal.

And of course I know it’s also illegal for women, but it is a crime that is committed almost entirely by men. Women who rape children are the tiny tiny minority. And I am not confused at all. I am saying that those insisting he should have suffered in jail instead aren’t seeing that he would have been out after a short time and ready to choose a new name and a new victim.

You are desperate to defend this man and the flawed justice system that protects men like him - why is that?

ancientgran · 24/11/2022 11:41

A bit? Really, 7.5 years of their lives when they needed her most and she wasn't there.

Lockheart · 24/11/2022 11:41

CourtneeLuv · 24/11/2022 11:39

I'd be in favour of an eye for an eye, if they shouldn't be murdered.

Give them to big massive BDSM bloke and let them have what they did be acted out on them.

I'd support that.

Ah yes, state-sanctioned rape is always good fun.

Soothsayer1 · 24/11/2022 11:42

The problem seems to be that these types of offenders are extremely devious and this behaviour very quickly appears to become a compulsion, it is horrifying and sickening.

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:43

This reply has been deleted

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You sound very bloodthirsty for violence and full of hate. There are vast amounts of middle ground between “sweetness” “light” “mollycoddling” “understanding” and “fuck them, cut off their dick if they can’t be murdered in the streets”

It’s really unsettling to hear posters say this sort of violent language.

StoppinBy · 24/11/2022 11:43

The only reason I wouldn't is because my child would need me so I wouldn't risk jail.

If I could get away with it, hell yes, that MF would die.

antelopevalley · 24/11/2022 11:44

This stops children coming forward, Most abusers are family members or family friends and most children do not want their abuser murdered.

Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:45

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:43

You sound very bloodthirsty for violence and full of hate. There are vast amounts of middle ground between “sweetness” “light” “mollycoddling” “understanding” and “fuck them, cut off their dick if they can’t be murdered in the streets”

It’s really unsettling to hear posters say this sort of violent language.

I mean I think it’s unsettling to hear a poster more than once say ‘whatever’ about a man who prolifically raped and abused young children. Your flippancy about this man’s crimes (and his violence) are unsettling to me.

Onnabugeisha · 24/11/2022 11:45

Kanaloa · 24/11/2022 11:41

I’m obviously not saying there isn’t laws against it, I’m saying people get away with it so overwhelmingly that it may as well be legal.

And of course I know it’s also illegal for women, but it is a crime that is committed almost entirely by men. Women who rape children are the tiny tiny minority. And I am not confused at all. I am saying that those insisting he should have suffered in jail instead aren’t seeing that he would have been out after a short time and ready to choose a new name and a new victim.

You are desperate to defend this man and the flawed justice system that protects men like him - why is that?

I’m not defending him, I am condemning vigilante murder of him by the mum.
She had no right to kill him. She should not have done it. It is very dangerous for any society to allow vigilantes to go about and kill with impunity.