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Original poster

Kids still feeling the effects of lockdowns…

910 replies

sloanedanger · 23/11/2022 20:27

I just got caught reading a really interesting thread on Twitter started by a teacher:

“Is anyone else thinking we are starting to see the impact of 2 years of disruption and time at home, due to COVID 19, in schools? Extreme behaviours? Some pupils very emotional and struggling to regulate? Low attendance compared to normal? Winter bugs hitting hard?”

A lot of the comments say Y3 is the worst, others saying Years 7 and 8.

My DS is in Year 2 and often struggles with emotions and self regulation at school. It’s made me think, perhaps there’s a reason why linked to the pandemic. Lockdown was hard, DP and I were home with very young DC, trying to work, poor mental health, emotions high. Very little patience.

OP posts:
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7
Welliesandpyjamas · 23/11/2022 22:30

My DS (yr 9) is a total mess and has been getting worse for 2 years.

My DD (yr 5) and other DS (19) are fine.

DH works in early years and the covid babies have shockingly high needs compared to previous years.

School lockdowns were so damaging.

greenstrawberries · 23/11/2022 22:31

I can so relate to all of you who said it killed your love of motherhood. My boy was only 8 months old but I still feel traumatised from being trapped in my house with an unsettled and whinging baby for months on end. Beforehand I’d planned more children but the only positive during lockdown was that I only had the one. Still only got the one.

Also it has definitely had an impact on his development. He’s extremely sensitive and finds many things too noisy. He’s struggled massively to feel comfortable around other children, he will ask to leave a playground if it’s busy or children come near him. He’s in school nursery now and is not interested in any of the other children. Everything is scary. He loves being at home and if you ask him what he wants to do he will say ‘stay home’.

CarefreeMe · 23/11/2022 22:32

IME the majority of young people didn’t struggle in lockdowns and the majority actually thrived.

The issue was/is being impacted by returning in such a sudden way and for many that was way too overwhelming and they’re still feeling the effects from it now.

In an ideal world (apart from not locking down) the reintroduction would have been much slower and with their MH at the forefront.

Instead the focus was on their grades and missed education, as well as the need for childcare.

Greentrees2021 · 23/11/2022 22:32

@Delatron @MarshaBradyo

I would like to thank you both. I remember both of your usernames well and you helped keep me sane when it sometimes felt like the world had gone bonkers. I was always concerned about the school closures and felt so alone and powerless and branded "selfish" for it.

bakewellbride · 23/11/2022 22:32

Yes. This is why my son - who was a toddler at the time - continued seeing friends and socialising throughout lockdown / covid. There was just no way I was going to keep him from other children.

PeachCottonTree · 23/11/2022 22:34

poormanspombears · 23/11/2022 20:34

Our internal truancy numbers are sky high and the number of Y11's refusing to do their mocks is ridiculous, and those needing specialist support to do it like smaller classrooms, sitting behind boards etc.

Our internal truancy (primary) is at its highest ever too! Some days our school feels more like a zoo 😢 The kids constantly shout at each other and struggle with boundaries and following instructions. And in comparison to colleagues I have it easy with my class. We are trying everything we can to meet their needs and seldom feel like we’re succeeding.

StitchFanBeforeItWasCool · 23/11/2022 22:34

My Y3 is very anxious, cries a lot at school and is very uncertain of themself. They have some SN which have got worse but in the teachers words "They're now not bad enough to get any support as so many others need it", they can't read, they can barely write and can't concerntrate but because they sit down and try they go unhelped in class now it's sad.

My 17yo cousin doesn't socialise outside the family, he literally has no friends and doesn't go to school or college as he didn't see the point. I worry for his future, as he currently doesn't think he can offer the world anything.

Comedycook · 23/11/2022 22:35

I remember my DD really struggling. I could see her becoming more and more depressed and isolated...she was in year 4/5. She would get up after a full night's sleep and tell me she was tired. She would crave really sweet food. I could see these were depression symptoms. Consequently the pressure on me felt huge. Every day I'd wake up and wonder how I could occupy her and keep her happy. I had to be her friend rather than her mum as she couldn't see any of her actual friends.

Delatron · 23/11/2022 22:37

@Greentrees2021 Thank you.

I remember being on lots of threads with @MarshaBradyo it felt like we were shouting in to an abyss at times.

I did spend hours arguing with certain posters and I remember all their names. It was quite stressful but I truly believed we were failing our children and this would have such awful long lasting effects.

UrgentScurryfunge · 23/11/2022 22:38

PuttingDownRoots · 23/11/2022 21:32

As a Cub leader we really noticed how different the kids were who hadn't had Beavers before Cubs... we took them camping in the Summer for example, only one had been on a Beaver camp, so having to teach the whole lot how to group camp, homesickness etc.

Show quote history

We've got Cubs who've come through Beavers struggling with separation anxiety.
So many have behaviour that is very immature, and impulsive. They are lovely kids, but they just struggle with basic boundaries and need constant reinforcement. It's a minority that present in a regular NT way for their age range (I only know of one with diagnoses and he doesn't present this way.

I kept DS1 back to complete the programme and gain experience of being a sixer (he's autistic) before he was launched into Scouts after 18m away from regular Scouting.

My Brownies have fared better. We had a larger pre-Covid cohort and got back face to face outdoors for a limited period in Autumn 2020 before we were forced back on to zoom. When we were able to meet properly again, there was a clear gap in the older girls who'd recognised our routines and those who joined during restrictions. A bigger gap again with the Rainbows moving up who had done far less than our pack. They looked very lost and as a cohort took far longer to find their confidence than usual. As a pack, they seem to be finding it harder to follow instructions like get in a circle and waiting their turn than average.
Their social behaviour is closer to normal than the Cubs. Maybe girls have adapted quicker than the predominantly male Cubs... I suspect that being more proactive at getting the pack going in 2020/21 made a difference though.

1dayatatime · 23/11/2022 22:38

I see the impacts every day and it breaks my heart.

@Fleabigg - I have also witnessed Years 9 and 10 being particularly problematic. This is a combination of low attendance, basic bad behaviour and aggression and also an inability / immaturity to cope with low levels of pressure / stress/ instruction. We were discussing this exact point and concluded that the emotional maturity to stress and pressure of years 9 and 10 is very similar to what would be expected from years 7 and 8 if put under similar pressure.

In the younger ages there is a much greater difference in ability than pre Covid both academically and socially. Of course there are always some children brighter or more sociable than others with most somewhere in the middle. But now it seems much more extreme and it seems half are perfectly fine and where they should be or ahead but the other half are so far less developed academically and socially- what might three years ago have been one or two children in this group is now more like 10 or 12.

And lastly boys and girls are equally affected although how it manifests itself differs.

StitchFanBeforeItWasCool · 23/11/2022 22:39

Also my colleagues who're teachers have said with primary especially they're seeing more and more cliques of children. The children who were in during lockdown, or the ones who lived close enough to sneak under the radar with rules so still saw each other are miles ahead socially than those left at home with just their parents and siblings for company. And a lot of the time now they're encouraged by the parents to be exclusive of their group, they see the others as babyish.

Our primary has a huge catchment as it takes in from a very rural area, so we have DC that live close and on the same street as each other than we have DC who are bussed in from 3-4 miles away who didn't see another child outside their family for months apart from on a screen so they struggle to play or talk to the other children.

IrishMamaMia · 23/11/2022 22:40

We suffered really badly in the initial lockdown whe nurseries were closed. I had a three year old who was tantruming constantly, not understanding what was going on and an infant to look after. I ended up unwell with depression. After these horrible weeks we spent the rest of the restrictions living as normally as we could within what was allowed. I am lucky that both kids are doing well now.
I work in a school and definitely notice effects.Current Year 7 seem very badly affected.
It was too much pressure on family units.

Iheartmysmart · 23/11/2022 22:42

I remember being so scared for DS. He was just about to take his A-levels and it was actually his 18th birthday the day lockdown was announced. We had a really difficult time with him in his early teens with self harm and suicidal thoughts but had started to make progress with counselling, music therapy and martial arts classes. All of a sudden all that support was gone.

He put on a brave face for us but he had a couple of years where he didn’t settle and drifted around doing any work he could find. Finally this year he made a decision to go to university and started in September. He still worries about the slightest thing and is a very anxious young man though.

eddiemairswife · 23/11/2022 22:42

How did we wartime children cope? I had disruption in Y2 when we were evacuated; we had to shelter in school during air-raids; time at home after school was bombed, then taught in a church hall with no desks where we knelt on the floor and rested our books on chairs. We survived, grew up, got married, had children, had careers. We are your grandparents.

PicaK · 23/11/2022 22:43

If you ask for the minutes of the governors' and/or trustees' meetings over the last 2 years for your child's school you'll be able to see the massive impact it had.

The government weren't being nice when the stopped SATs - they handily ensured a massive lack of evidence.

SirMingeALot · 23/11/2022 22:45

eddiemairswife · 23/11/2022 22:42

How did we wartime children cope? I had disruption in Y2 when we were evacuated; we had to shelter in school during air-raids; time at home after school was bombed, then taught in a church hall with no desks where we knelt on the floor and rested our books on chairs. We survived, grew up, got married, had children, had careers. We are your grandparents.

My grandparent, who lived through both WW2 and lockdown and preferred the former, said the major difference was the forced isolation.

XelaM · 23/11/2022 22:45

eddiemairswife · 23/11/2022 22:42

How did we wartime children cope? I had disruption in Y2 when we were evacuated; we had to shelter in school during air-raids; time at home after school was bombed, then taught in a church hall with no desks where we knelt on the floor and rested our books on chairs. We survived, grew up, got married, had children, had careers. We are your grandparents.

I have to agree. All the kids were asked to do was stay out of school (a dream for many kids) so I don't quite understand why it had such an enormous impact apparently.

Comedycook · 23/11/2022 22:46

eddiemairswife · 23/11/2022 22:42

How did we wartime children cope? I had disruption in Y2 when we were evacuated; we had to shelter in school during air-raids; time at home after school was bombed, then taught in a church hall with no desks where we knelt on the floor and rested our books on chairs. We survived, grew up, got married, had children, had careers. We are your grandparents.

It's not the same. I'm not saying one situation is worse than the other. But you have described your situation as disruption. Our children were not just disrupted, they were isolated. It's quite different. It's very very unnatural for children to go month and months on end without seeing another child and being able to play together. In fact, it's probably never happened before. Even in refugee camps you see children playing together. Not saying that's an ideal situation before anyone jumps on me.

Takingabreakagain · 23/11/2022 22:47

eddiemairswife · 23/11/2022 22:42

How did we wartime children cope? I had disruption in Y2 when we were evacuated; we had to shelter in school during air-raids; time at home after school was bombed, then taught in a church hall with no desks where we knelt on the floor and rested our books on chairs. We survived, grew up, got married, had children, had careers. We are your grandparents.

Lockdown children were in some cases isolated from their peers, families and friends for months on end - wartime children were able to mix and socialise. War must have been terrifying for children. But it's the isolation and lack of contact that is causing the problem now. That's not saying today's children won't grow up to be 'ok' it's just acknowledging the harms caused so that it doesn't happen again.

SirMingeALot · 23/11/2022 22:47

XelaM · 23/11/2022 22:45

I have to agree. All the kids were asked to do was stay out of school (a dream for many kids) so I don't quite understand why it had such an enormous impact apparently.

Show quote history

This is just factually incorrect. They were asked to do much more than stay out of school: they were asked to give up everything else outside the home too.

Rosebel · 23/11/2022 22:49

My son was born in June 2020 and for the first year of his life we didn't socialise a lot, although he did 2 mornings a week at nursery from six months.
He is behind in his development and is still pretty much non verbal. No help as SALT are overstretched with long waiting lists. He also seems to get ill a lot (far more than his older sisters ever did) and he also struggles to fight off illness.
Can't help but think if it wasn't for Covid he'd probably have better immunity and might have got help with his speech.
As for my older two they seem more anxious. If me or their dad get ill they pani6. Eldest didn't do well in her exams and youngest is still more prone to outbursts due to anger.

Comedycook · 23/11/2022 22:50

All the kids were asked to do was stay out of school (a dream for many kids) so I don't quite understand why it had such an enormous impact apparently

That wasn't all it was. Oh and all kids I know enjoy school, including my own.

My kids couldn't

See extended family
See their friends
Play sports
Attend extra curricular activities
Go to a playground
Go to parties

Their medical appointments were cancelled too.

ChiefFinderOuter · 23/11/2022 22:50

StitchFanBeforeItWasCool · 23/11/2022 22:39

Also my colleagues who're teachers have said with primary especially they're seeing more and more cliques of children. The children who were in during lockdown, or the ones who lived close enough to sneak under the radar with rules so still saw each other are miles ahead socially than those left at home with just their parents and siblings for company. And a lot of the time now they're encouraged by the parents to be exclusive of their group, they see the others as babyish.

Our primary has a huge catchment as it takes in from a very rural area, so we have DC that live close and on the same street as each other than we have DC who are bussed in from 3-4 miles away who didn't see another child outside their family for months apart from on a screen so they struggle to play or talk to the other children.

This is interesting. My ds is year 3 and his class is just a load of small cliques. We’re all unsure how much that would have been the case anyway, but it’s markedly different to my year 1 child’s class. It makes sense when you think about it. They spent a year and a half of schooling either on their own or in enforced cliques (bubbles).

My boys are close, and only 2 years apart. They were incredibly lucky to have each other, and I was incredibly lucky to have an understanding employer who enabled me to devote a few hours to the children each day. The younger one benefited academically from basically sitting in on the older one’s homeschooling. Emotionally though, I’d say both were impacted. The younger one especially is still learning that you can’t treat your classmates the way you do your brother!

XelaM · 23/11/2022 22:51

SirMingeALot · 23/11/2022 22:47

This is just factually incorrect. They were asked to do much more than stay out of school: they were asked to give up everything else outside the home too.

Show quote history

But most kids socialise via their phones/various devices anyway and outdoor activities were still allowed.