Kids still feeling the effects of lockdowns…

[sloanedanger]

I just got caught reading a really interesting thread on Twitter started by a teacher:

“Is anyone else thinking we are starting to see the impact of 2 years of disruption and time at home, due to COVID 19, in schools? Extreme behaviours? Some pupils very emotional and struggling to regulate? Low attendance compared to normal? Winter bugs hitting hard?”

A lot of the comments say Y3 is the worst, others saying Years 7 and 8.

My DS is in Year 2 and often struggles with emotions and self regulation at school. It’s made me think, perhaps there’s a reason why linked to the pandemic. Lockdown was hard, DP and I were home with very young DC, trying to work, poor mental health, emotions high. Very little patience.

Nowadays we have a much better understanding of children's developmental psychology which we didn't have post - world war two in the same way. A bit silly to compare both situations when we have the knowledge we do now.

@XelaM

"Can I ask what exactly you think affected your kids/kids in general so dramatically?"

+++

A lack of sport particularly team sports
Missing mile stone events eg end of primary, Year 11 and Year 13 proms / balls.
Residential school trips
The media constantly pumping out "we are all doomed and going to die"
The expectation that once the virus goes away then things will get back to normal and a failing of things being "on hold". But waiting 18 months for something feels a lot longer when you are a child than when you are an adult.
A fear that they will lose their parents/ grandparents/ themselves.
If they were of the mindset of believing the hysteria then a fear that there was an evil virus around every corner out to get them.
If they did not buy in to the hysteria then a resentment that children were somehow a Covid incubator and schools were somehow a virus reservoir.
General resentment/ kick back against authority when even the youngest figures out the rules made no sense reinforced by view of parents.

I could easily go but is that enough?

Although I do think children suffered, especially those who were experiencing abuse and things at home.

I do think a lot of it is an excuse for bad behaviour or to pass the blame.

There we’re many kids who had behaviour issues or didn’t want to go to school but now they can use the excuse of covid and MH and teachers aren’t allowed to question it.

There are many studies showing that children should start school at an older age.
There are also many people who homeschool.
Having extra time at home would not have caused any major issues (if it wasn’t abusive).

Yes the children will be emotionally younger but that’s because they’re usually pressured into acting much older than they feel - I don’t think it’s a bad thing for them to act their age.

I do think anxiety has increased but it was on the up way before covid, as well as behaviour issues.

I’m not saying covid didn’t have an effect but I don’t think covid is solely to blame.

Before covid I was pulled up for saying that a particular group was for girls and this boy couldn’t attend - it was a girls sports group.
After covid I was also pulled up for asking a boy to leave the room as we were discussing girls things and it was a girl-only group.

These sorts of issues of trying to be offended or trying to get out of lessons because they have X,Y,Z have nothing to do with covid and are just on the rise and would have continued to rise whether or not lockdowns happened.

Your memory is clearly faulty. Outdoor activities were not allowed, for a long period of time. I distinctly remember being overjoyed that I could now meet one friend, outdoors. It’s mental, when you look back.

But most kids socialise via their phones/various devices anyway and outdoor activities were still allowed

Nonsense. Playgrounds were locked. Football was cancelled. It was illegal for my DC to meet a friend in the park. And most kids don't solely socialise on their phones and devices... especially very young ones.

DS1 is in year 2 now. He is quite nervous, sometimes says his tummy hurts and his chest feels funny which I honestly think is anxiety. He was always of a more sensitive nature anyway but covid seems to have made it harder for him. His learning is doing well though. I was a teacher prior to having my disabled DD and wasn’t working at the time so was able to help him with home schooling.

DS2 is in reception now. I honestly don’t think he was affected too badly. He started nursery Sept 20 and was able to carry on through the following lockdowns which helped him enormously. His behaviour can be a challenge sometimes but honestly it was before lockdown as well.

DD is also in reception (twins). She has a learning disability and the first lockdown did her the world of good in terms of development. She loves being at home anyway and she started speaking more and signing more. We had a terrible few months with her after the first lockdown though, we couldn’t go inside anywhere with her e.g a shop, cafe, anything without her having a huge meltdown. Luckily she took to nursery well in Sept 20 and doesn’t seem too affected now.

I consider us to be very lucky.

"As early as April 2020 people who were raising concerns that there would be issues, that the collateral damage of lockdowns would be great were vilified and shut down.
I can think of many occasions on this site where people were shamed for suggesting that actually locking down was not the right way to go or that the country's pandemic policy established years previously was not being followed. Groups like Usforthem, Great Barrington Declaration etc etc were mocked but they were right. Lockdowns resulted in untold amounts of damage to children across the world (and not from covid)"

I never understood why this happened. There were highly educated and experienced people looking to manage this a different way but they were shut down every time. It was a discussion worth having!

I'd also like to thank those posters who spoke up. They gave me hope.
I did too, under a different name and was often rounded on.

My recently turned 3yo is scared of other children it they're inside. Outside is much better. It might be that he's just a shy child but I think it's due to the total lack of indoor play/classes/groups etc at the age he needed it. Outdoor play areas obviously opened sooner so he had more exposure there.

My worst day was walking up the street to my house, and I could hear my daughters constant swearing. And I mean constant. FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT SHIT FUCK.

She couldn't control it, and was strangely unaware of how loud it was. When she went back to school she scared some of the Reception kids through ticcing, and I had to explain to her how obvious her swearing was, and that it might seem scary for very little kids.

She was devastated and sobbed her heart out in my arms. She was 9. A little kid herself.

For your claim that they were only asked to give up school to be correct (as if that wouldn't be a huge deal anyway!) they'd have to have socialised exclusively on phones. Which obviously wasn't the case. Also, loads of outdoor activities weren't allowed so that generalisation is wrong too. It's a ridiculous argument you're attempting to make.

That so sad OP, so many children lost out on so much. My DS is now year one, so he was lucky in that he had a normal reception year last year. Seeing how important that year was, and what a special time it was in the transition from being a little kid to a fully fledged school boy makes my heart break for those who missed out on things like this.

It's true across all age groups - I'm a university lecturer and we're struggling hugely with immaturity and lack of engagement.

My DC are 4 and 2, and luckily childcare remained open after the first lockdown so they had decent socialisation pretty much throughout thankfully.

I still hate playing in the garden.

Even if it is ultimately proven that the decision to close schools wasn't right, and that may well be the case, I think it will be harder to prove that it was the wrong decision given the information available at the time. Especially at first.

Unfortunately this was the sort of scenario where there will be harm somewhere and there is no good outcome. We can be too used to solutions sometimes these days I think. However, the government should be throwing money at the problem as I fear the implications will follow that generation through their lives.

I have to agree. All the kids were asked to do was stay out of school (a dream for many kids) so I don't quite understand why it had such an enormous impact apparently.

There is definitely a correlation of children who struggled who had parents with high anxiety or some emotional issues.

I am assuming (although could be completely wrong) that as anxiety and MH issues are on the rise, there would have been many fewer parents in the war who had these emotional issues and therefore didn’t project them into their children.

Which is why children (and parents) from the war era handled things much better than this era.

@XelaM

"But most kids socialise via their phones/various devices anyway and outdoor activities were still allowed."

+++

But a greater reliance on socialising via phones and not in person greatly impacts social skills. For example as a teenager I might easily say something offensive to you via social media when locked down in my bedroom that I would never say in person for risk of either being punched in the face or guilt at seeing how upset you'd become.

Yes some outdoor activities were allowed but a child's development perspective there really is the world of difference between going for dog walk with a parent and playing a team sport with similar aged children. And that is just sport there were also missed play dates, birthday parties, sleep overs, hang outs etc which impacted self confidence/ social skills.

I still remember my ds starting beavers In spring 2021. He was terrified. It suddenly struck me that he’d not been with that number of children for a long time. He’s still now nervous of groups of new children. I have no way of knowing how much of that is him, and how much is his Iife experience.

Yes - DD is 18 and since lockdowns has struggled massively with anxiety and school attendance

Fair enough. My experience of lockdown was probably different, as we spent a few months in Germany where restrictions weren't that harsh and in the UK my daughter could still spend time at the livery yard and ride. Her school also still had a Year6 leavers event (albeit just with the Year 6 year group and parents) so we didn't really feel like we missed out on that much (aside from a residential school trip to France). My daughter is in Year 8 and I actually think hers was a lucky year because things were back to normal by the start of secondary school/Year 7 for their year group.

We must never allow this to happen again.

DD (year 8) is struggling, as our many of her peers. They missed a lot of year 5 & 6 which are important 'growing up' years and subsequently have struggled to transition to secondary.

DS (year 6) has not been affected in the same way (he was year 3&4 in the lockdowns).

Honestly think it's pretty sad to come on a thread where people are opening up about their sometimes suicidal children and be like 'all they had to do was stay off school, what's the big deal, they had phones.'

No school
No seeing extended family
No seeing friends
No clubs
No restaurants
No sports
No shops
Masks everywhere
No hugging people
No parks open
Constant hand sanitising
Teachers distancing from kids
Eating lunch at their desks
Constant dramatic doom mongering 24 hour news channels
No doctors appointments
Home schooling with parents also trying to fulfil full-time roles
Far too much screen time

My DD is now in Yr4. She got behind with her reading despite our best efforts. We got a weekly online tutor for her for a year which brought her up to her expected level.

The stress of lockdowns really affected us, the parents, and I think that, in turn, it impacted upon our kids. I have a video that I can't bear to watch of my then 5 year old son's closed bedroom door and this unearthly distressed cry he was making that I've not heard since the lockdowns ended. Awful.

Let's not forget that less than 12 months ago there were many politicians (Gove, Javid, Starmer) pushing for a Christmas 2021 lockdown which was supported by a large amount of the public including many MN posters and was a close call on whether it happened or not.

Yet if anyone suggested a Christmas 2022 lockdown now they would be dismissed as an over reacting nut job- it's incredible, scary and depressing how such firm beliefs and attitudes can change in less than 12 months.

Late December 2021 saw the emergence of omicron and it took a while for it to be clear how mild that variant was. Pre- and post-omicron covid were two very different times and places.

@interstatelovesong i had a local guy who i only know OF cos i went to school with his brother but never met him personally to ask me if i was still staying safe and how was i doing so. He then insisted the then new strain was found locally It wasnt it was in Kent and we are in North Essex. It was really creepy and controlling.

I don't even blame the Government- they only introduced the lock down policies in response to public pressure and were only able to continue them with public support.

Anyone who criticised or even questioned the approach was shouted down as a Covid deliver / anti vaxx / granny killer.