Kids still feeling the effects of lockdowns…

[sloanedanger]

I just got caught reading a really interesting thread on Twitter started by a teacher:

“Is anyone else thinking we are starting to see the impact of 2 years of disruption and time at home, due to COVID 19, in schools? Extreme behaviours? Some pupils very emotional and struggling to regulate? Low attendance compared to normal? Winter bugs hitting hard?”

A lot of the comments say Y3 is the worst, others saying Years 7 and 8.

My DS is in Year 2 and often struggles with emotions and self regulation at school. It’s made me think, perhaps there’s a reason why linked to the pandemic. Lockdown was hard, DP and I were home with very young DC, trying to work, poor mental health, emotions high. Very little patience.

I remember your username because I always agreed with you and you were often speaking out on this issue on these boards at the time.

Academically My 8 year old dd is still miles behind where she should be with reading, I really struggled to teach her early reading at home while coping in my own with 3 kids.
I would also say that my ability to cope as a parent had never returned since the lockdowns. I just found it such an awful stressful time, I had very limited patience with my kids, I was so horribly isolated on my own with them, one was a toddler and the older two young primary age. Everything was stressful and the kids stopped getting along, I started shouting a lot more so if just felt like everyone was fighting all the time. Our family has never really felt ‘happy’ again.

Same here. Mine were yr 5 and 3 first time. We lived in a tiny house, but had brilliant neighbours. Kids saw me more than they had in years. Year 3 kid barely did any school work but it hasn't affected her by year 6.

They look back quite fondly and treat it as just another experience. I honestly don't think it's affected me either. But then, there were other things in my life that took years to get over.

DH who’s a headteacher seems to be having hell with years 9 and 10. So many of them unable to cope, with resulting consequences for behaviour and attendance. It also seems as though the implicit “contract” with parents has fallen apart too, so there’s a lot more of them taking them out in term time for holidays and just because they want to. I really feel for so many cohorts of young people, from the youngest children right up to the recently graduated.

@Comedycook i don’t know any key workers who thought like that. We mostly felt huge guilt that our dc were in school and at risk.

In DS's y6 leavers assembly this summer they created their own content chronicalling their memories of their years through the school. Their lockdown years were y4 and y5. Y4, they had content as they'd had a normal first half of the year. They'd done things like swimming and a local visit. For y5 the entire content was "we ate our lunch in the classroom"

That one sentence was the class memory of a "year" of schooling devoid of events, trips and normal behaviour.

Even last year was not normal. That assembly was their first performance to the school and parents since they were year 3 (they lost their y4 Easter performance). It was from Easter when things really opened up and became more normal again.

Choosing secondary schools was still pot luck on some schools running open evenings or not. Many chose blind, and of course no opportunity to visit the previous year when there were none at all to get early impressions.

Arseholes.

I'll be forever grateful that on our class what's app group, all the talk on the night the 2021 lockdown got announced was only about gin.

When polled, lockdowns were incredibly popular policies, and we had a Government that made decisions based on that. Then you had opposition parties calling for ever greater restrictions. There were merits to it, but the downsides were just ignored and anyone who objected was called a "granny murderer".

I think that any future pandemic plan will be more measured, and target protections at those that need them.

I count my blessings that my DD was only 2 in the first, terrible lockdown when nurseries closed. It was absolute hell for me at the time trying to work full time with her at home for 4 months, but she was too little to know what was going on and I didn’t have to try to teach her anything. Thank god for early years settings staying open in the subsequent ones because I think at 3 it would have had more of an impact on her social development.

This is a sad thread. My heart goes out to everyone whose children are suffering.

I've got a 5 yo in Y1 and a 22 month old starting nursery in Jan. It's been tough on them both, but luckily for us nothing too extreme.

I did want to gently suggest that the government and decision makers are more worthy targets for rage than other parents? It was a complete unknown and a lot of people were terrified, with good reason...

I had a lovely friend of 39 who was an ICU nurse with 2 little kids, in perfect health, loved her family and her job. She died of Covid in the first wave. We are trying our best to spend time with her kids, and to remind them how lovely their mum was, without adding to their trauma.

I don't think it was unreasonable at the time to want to follow the rules to keep people alive. But I'm really sorry for those of you that felt shouted down.

My dc don’t seem permanently scarred either which is good. However I think it is telling the number of emails I’ve had from year9 ds’s school praising his model behaviour in class “despite the disruptions”. So although my ds, in himself, is ok, his learning and schooling is being massively disrupted by the behaviours of others in his class which will have a lasting impact.
having worked previously in a secondary school, I can’t begin to imagine how bad this behaviour actually is that they are letting us parents know about it. Usually it would be swept under a rug so that in itself is very telling to what is going on

I work in safeguarding also and it’s the same where I am. Cases are extremely high post covid, I thought it was just initially when children returned to schools post lockdown and made disclosures but it’s showing no sign of slowing down. Obviously there’s no extra staff in any service to support these families so we’re all just spread a little further.

Why were children in school at risk? Of what Covid? Which they’ve all had many times now.

I’d have bitten someone’s arm off to send my children to school. Especially knowing what I know now.

I got followed and hounded, all sorts. I remember their usernames

I just want to link this again, as there a very moving stories on here and if they get through to the gov there’s less likelihood it’ll happen again

Apologies for spamming but I really hope people share and we feel heard this time.

covid19.public-inquiry.uk/share-your-experience/

In the first lockdown, there were only about 10 kids in the entire school in because their parents were keyworkers. In the second lockdown,half of each class was in. Parents were desperate for a place yet also keen for the schools to shut. It was weird. I remember hating my neighbours as all their kids were going in everyday and my DC were sitting at home feeling more and more isolated.

That's really interesting about the implicit contract.

But I completely get it. Of course government suddenly seeing schooling and education as things that can be turned on and off at will is going to have an effect. I haven't taken mine on a term time holiday, but I don't think I've ever rolled my eyes as hard as I did when mine got an attendance letter last year due to the time the law forced them to stay off with covid.

Absolutely, I’ve seen it in all mine yr6, 4 & reception. I deferred my youngest, she should be in year one but she missed out on so much nursery (completely closed down and never reopened), preschool and general social interactions she was not ready to start school last year.

My older ones there is a lack of confidence, clinginess and definite gaps in learning.

Home learning just didn’t happen for us, lack of devices, I was very unwell, bedridden for months, DH was an essential worker trying to wfh look after 3 kids and a sick wife.

Even when rules relaxed we were still very cautious due to my health so my DCs knew their friends were off doing things but we couldn’t.

I will definitely give our school credit though, they were fantastic with communication, helping families out, especially those struggling with home learning and were very quick to identify those children needing extra support when things opened up again. Even now they are flexible moving staff around to make up the gaps in learning for some children. I know there have been some terrible stories from parents at other local schools who have not put the support in place that’s needed.

SallyWD · Today 22:10
I realise that Covid had a huge impact on children, adults, society, the world. However, I seem to be in a minority here because I genuinely think it hasn't had a lasting impact on my children. On me, yes perhaps but I can't see any change in the children. They were fine throughout the lockdowns. They seemed to take it in their stride. They adapted immediately when they returned to school. They seem just the same as before Covid. They're at the expected standards for their ages so I don't think the disruption to their learning has had a lasting impact.
I'm not being blind here - they really are fine.

Not at my school; maybe it is dependent on demographics? Many pupils were without equipment for online learning and even when given laptops by the government ( probably 50 families in my school if not more), many had parents without English as their first language, many living in flats or cramped accommodation, lots of children with some sort of social care supervision ( or not as it turned out). These children were struggling before lockdown and these enforced lengthy absences from school have only exacerbated the problem.

We saw my grandparents too. None of us were going anywhere “public” and they were adamant they weren’t going to live into their 90s to spend what could’ve been their last few months alone. My grandfather is sadly no longer with us and I am so, so glad I have memories & photographs of him with my children. My eldest 3 remember him, although the youngest I think only recognises him on photographs as opposed to actually remembering him IYSWIM.

Yep, I completely get it too! It’s a completely logical response to what happened. DH gets frustrated because closing schools was a government decision but it’s the individual schools who are now once again being judged on their attendance stats.

@MarshaBradyo

I remember you as one of the handful of posters who during the height of the madness helped keep me sane because I realised I wasn't alone in my views.

ive name changed many many times since then but I have always been a lockdown sceptic right from the start. I think I recognise some other posters too
Thank you all

I'm just sorry we've been proven right at the expense of our children

I did want to gently suggest that the government and decision makers are more worthy targets for rage than other parents? It was a complete unknown and a lot of people were terrified, with good reason...

It's a difficult one. Because the desire for lockdown and school closures didn't actually come from the government initially. They tried to avoid it. There was clamour from the public which is why it eventually happened. However, once the government did commit to the restrictions based approach, they deliberately tried to make people more scared in order to increase compliance. So it's a complex picture.

My 3rd child was 7 months old when we went into lockdown. I see a huge difference in him; a confident, bubbly, articulate child who loves to play with others, shares well, loves to learn to friends children of the same age who don’t have older siblings. I really think the children who were at home with siblings came off lighter than only children who didn’t have other children to interact with. There’s a quite big difference just within his class and it’s very sad.

Can I ask what exactly you think affected your kids/kids in general so dramatically?

My daughter is in Year 8 and I can't really say I've noticed any lockdown-related effects on her. But horse riding is a big part of her life and during lockdown she was still leaving the house for a few hours to take care of/ride her horse. We also left the UK for about 3 months to stay with my parents in Germany and the restrictions weren't as strict there, so maybe that's why she didn't really feel it that badly. 🤷‍♀️

Yep, I should say that I don't blame the school for the letter. I know they get pressured to send them. It was always ridiculous, but became greatly more so with the arrival of covid.