Aibu to think that 36 is still relatively young to have a child?

[Hdaniels11]

I have a Dd who's 9 and a Ds who's 6 and i'm thinking of having another baby. I'm 36 now and was amazed when i find out once you turn 34 you are classed as a geriatric mother! I always thought 25-38 was the prime time to have babies. Aibu to think you shouldn't be classed as an older mother until you are in your 40s?

I'd agree it's a normal age for a 3rd child and a not uncommon one for a first child either. These days I'd only think of over 40 as being a 'older mum' I think, but medically, yes, past 35 (or it might even be younger?) is technically a 'geriatric pregnancy' 😦

But loads of people don't have a home at 30 these days, still living with parents well into their 20s and then stuck renting with constant price increases.

So financial security, I would say, is pretty rare for under 30, these days.

I would say it’s young to have your third and old to have your first (talking from experience).

Your eggs know how old you are even if your brain thinks different.

I had my Ds at 36 . It is a medical term and whether that needs changing or not is something defined by medical staff not the opinion of MN.

No it's on the older side

Biologically speaking, our prime years to push out babies is mid teens to early twenties.

I recently had baby 2 at 36 and again that was a totally normal age in my friend circle to be having a second or even a first. I didn't really think about my age at all tbh! And no one mentioned it during pregnancy from a healthcare perspective and it wasn't on my notes as a risk factor.

You might not count it as old, biology says differently.

I had my first at 31, second at 35 (and 10 months!). In London that was more normal but it's still not ideal physically

In London yes I guess, luckily we were 23 when we bought our 1st house in the north. Now in our 3rd house with 60% equity and it will be too big most likely when the children leave home. DH has a decently paid job for the north, I’m NHS so buggered but both have good pensions. Short of redundancy leading to long term unemployment for DH and illness we’ll be fine. We’re lucky my part time wage covers the bills and we have DH’s to live and save off.

I'm 37. If I had a 3rd child now I would feel positively ancient!

But I think it depends on the ages of your other kids. I was 21 and 26 when I had my 2.

Although my mum was 35 and 37 when she had us, I still think it's old to have kids. I knew it was classed as geriatric pregnancy in your 30s tho cos my mum had told me about it.

It is interesting the mix of opinions. And even more so how these opinions seem to differ depending on area, and the post!

What does everyone think is the perfect age to have a baby?

I think You’re only classed as a geriatric mother over 35 if it’s your first baby. It’s all to do with risk. 36 isn’t young to have a baby, it’s upper end of middle. There will be plenty of grandmothers of around that age!

You’re put off having another baby simply based on comments on this thread?

Are you serious?

I had my first 3 before i was 30. Had no.4 at 43 !

Midwife wasn't concerned. Said nothing about it. I asked in the end, if she was worried re: my age. She looked a bit puzzled.
''You're 42 not 52! You're no where near the oldest on my books. You've done it 3 times before with no problems ... what am i meant to be worried about?''

😂

Don't worry OP. No one will turn a hair at 36.

Yes it's a normal age. I had DS at 33 and twins just before I turned 38. The twins was a healthier outcome. My friends were all the same age up to 40. My cousin had her third and fourth at 38 and 44.

Its easy to see "increased" risk and think you'll never conceive, if you do you'll miscarry, if you don't your baby will have significant medical needs after your horrific pregnancy marred by high BP, GD and a crash CSec. But you need to look at the individual actual increase in risk

i would say 36 is quite normal (not old) to be having a 3rd child. its not relatively young for a 1st child.

No, I had mine at 33 and 35 and didn't feel young to be having a baby then.

My NHS trust (a very large London one) doesn't even use the phrase geriatric mother anymore. You can have babies as long as you want to and your body allows. I had my DD at 40 and am pregnant again at 42. Nobody in the medical profession has ever once mentioned my age, not once

By contrast, I just turned 40 and my 3rd and youngest child is 16.. I can’t imagine having the energy for a toddler! So yes, while “normal” I would say it was on the older side.
This seems to suggest it’s an older terminology, but applies to women over 35:
“In the medical world, a geriatric pregnancy is an old term that was used to describe a pregnancy in a person over the age of 35. nowadays, doctors use the term advanced maternal age (AMA) instead.”

The thing is, when people say 'I had mine at 25, I can't imagine having them at 35, I'm knackered!' that's generally because you have kids in the first place. Kids are what make you knackered! Most childfree 35yos are not knackered!

Well getting pregnant at 21 certainly focused my mind and we bought our first house at 25.

I found that our daughter gave us the impetus to save and get established.

I was described by a doctor friend as an ‘elderly primigravida’ when I had DD1 at 29. This was 30 years ago. He defended himself by saying it was a medical term but even at the time I thought it was bollocks and a put-down to boot. Apparently the term now is ‘advanced maternal age’ (AMA) and the cutoff is 35. Ho hum.

A midwife told me the cut off for an older mum is 40 op, nothing wrong with having a child 40 plus but you wouldn't be labelled as geriatric just yet. I had dd2 at 36 and no one even batted an eyelid at my age.

I mean I had my first at 35 so you are def not ancient! I think a 3rd at 36 sounds absolutely fine.

I had my last at 31 and felt old and exhausted!