Aibu to think that 36 is still relatively young to have a child?

[Hdaniels11]

I have a Dd who's 9 and a Ds who's 6 and i'm thinking of having another baby. I'm 36 now and was amazed when i find out once you turn 34 you are classed as a geriatric mother! I always thought 25-38 was the prime time to have babies. Aibu to think you shouldn't be classed as an older mother until you are in your 40s?

Me too, the year before!

Not sure why this thread has been revived but it's a bit sad that a woman would be put off having another baby by online randomers.

FWIW I had my first aged 34 (due to fertility issues), 2nd just before turning 36, then two miscarriages at 38 and 39, before having my youngest (conceived first month trying) then being perimenopausal relatively young, a couple of years later.

I had my fifth and final child at 36 and no-one-including midwives, doctors etc made me feel too old to be having children. In fact after having my last baby a doctor talked me out of having my tubes tied citing that I was too young!

No, it is still pretty normal. If the average age to have a first baby, then you have 3 year gaps, if you want a 3rd, then 36 would be average.

Interesting! DH’s cousin had her 2nd at 39 after a 9 year gap and the doctor asked her if she was planning another and didn’t see why not! (She wasn’t)

36 is a young age for a person but for being a mum it’s getting on the old side.

I was classed as an 'elderly primagravida' at 30, in 1986! They must have moved the goalposts since then.

I was 32 in 1986 and wasn’t classed as anything. My date of birth and first baby was on my notes and that is all. Had the same appointments as any other mum of any age. Only women who were treated differently were those over 36 who were offered amniocentesis to test for Downs Syndrome.

36 is relatively young to me.
I had my children at 39 and 42 though so all relative. Not once was my age ever mentioned in either pregnancy.

It isn't relatively young. It is socially unremarkable though.

It's fine for a first or third but biological would say its relatively late, middle class society a totally normal age, working class quite old. Depending where you live you probably won't be oldest at the school gates.

36 isn’t relatively young at all.

Where I live, it's not young but it's probably pretty standard. There are many 40+year old mums having babies where I am.

You’re as young as you feel, if you would like another baby just go ahead. I had my first at 25, second at 28 and third at 39. If I could turn the clock back I would have had more children. 36 is the new 26.

I'll agree with others, the geriatric is referring to your biological age not a social norm. Id say 20-30 was ideal bio range. Before that you could fall pregnant but your body isn't necessarily fully formed and you've got a few years other end too so let's extend that range from 15 to 35.
Socially most people would consider 20 young and so we've probably pushed the range along 5 years to 25-35....so yes 34/35 could easily be seen as the cusp of 'normal' range.
It's a bit like saying, I'm 5ft 6 and a size 14 - 16. I'm not fat am l? Well chances are you probably are overweight and possibly obese by BMI calculators, but you know you're not much different to everyone you know, and you look fine right...you're still overweight.

I think sadly people sometimes feel they can just push that range along a bit and still get the same size window, especially when youre looking at a '2nd' family or 'one more' 3rd and 4th children in late 30s. Wouldn't be for me, but it comes down to individual choices.

36 is the new 26.

Biology doesn’t change however much wishful thinking you might apply. 36 is approaching the tail end of fertile years. It’s not the new 26 at all.

You’re as young as you feel
You are not though..

You know, I've never heard the term "geriatric" applied to prospective mothers anywhere but Mumsnet. And I, and most of my friends were. Were we just lucky?

No, you just had your babies relatively recently. Elderly or geriatric primagravida or gravida frequently appeared on women’s notes in the 70s and 80s. One of my friends was 27 when she had her first baby and it was on hers.

@Blossomtoes But the OP is talking as if it's used now. And I'm talking about the 1990s/early 2000s.

Well, different times maybe. My mum has her first in the 60s at 28 and had ‘elderly primip’ written in her notes then!

It probably is used still as an obstetric term between professionals.

It was used with me in 2008 and 2010.

I don't think it's young. Isn't it only the last generation or so that being a first time mother in one's 30s became common?

This isn't true. There was a steady drop in the average age of motherhood post WW2 until the mid 70 when it started increasing again (note the graph below is average age for pregnancy, not for first births). More women had children in their 40s in the 1930s than now. In addition, pre 20th century, early marriage was very unusual, women got married on average in their mid to late 20s with the lower classes marrying later than the aristocracy. So most women were having children from their mid to late 20s to their 40s.

I had mine 12 years ago in my early 40s and was told they didn’t use that term nowadays.