Aibu to think that 36 is still relatively young to have a child?

[Hdaniels11]

I have a Dd who's 9 and a Ds who's 6 and i'm thinking of having another baby. I'm 36 now and was amazed when i find out once you turn 34 you are classed as a geriatric mother! I always thought 25-38 was the prime time to have babies. Aibu to think you shouldn't be classed as an older mother until you are in your 40s?

It's not to do with societal notions of what is early and what is late, it's to do with biology - natural fertility decline and obstetric risk.

But woman in the past had far more children. It wouldn't have been unusual for a woman to have more dc in her mid 30s

I don't think anyone has said it's too old. Just that OP is not a young mum.

My nan was 34 when she had my mum in 1956, I was 40 when I had my first.

I think i misled people with the title sorry. thanks everyone for the replies but it has kind of put me off having another one now. Ive been thinking it was a pretty good age to have a 3rd child but i feel ancient after reading this thread😬

Cut and pasted:

According to a report by the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) the College specified that the optimal age for childbearing is 20 to 35.

Not only do you risk being called a geriatric mother, but according to the NHS as women get older, both mothers and babies face an increased risk of pregnancy-related complications and health problems.
These are due to changes in the reproductive system and general health problems that comes with age.

Problems may include:
Greater difficulty in initially conceiving a child, with the personal and psychological difficulties that this can cause.
Increased risk of complications for both mother and infant during pregnancy and delivery (although the actual size of the risk may be small).
Greater risk of general maternal health problems, such as high blood pressure
Higher risk of miscarriage in women above the age of 35
Higher risk of having twins or triplets
Increased chance of having a baby with a congenital abnormality (ie Down’s syndrome)
Increased risk of pre-eclampsia
Increased risk of complications during delivery, such as prolonged labour, need for assisted delivery or Caesarean section, or stillbirth

@Sometimeswinning

It's absolutely fine if that's what op wants but it's not relatively young. Humans are designed to reproduce from mid teens and reach their best child bearing age in early 20's, by 35 biologically speaking you are waning

YANBU for a 3rd time pregnancy, OP. I was 35 two weeks before I had DC2. If I have a 3rd I'll be at least 37!

My mum was my nan's first pregnancy

Definitely not young - it's two decades older than what I'd class a young.

Social norms might define it as average but its Definitely not young

Yes I was going to say that when my mum had me at the age of 32 nearly 33 in the 70s she was considered elderly too!

Well thats a bit insulting to all those who've had a baby at 36!

YABU. You’re not a young mother at 35. Biologically you’ve been able to have children for over 20 years - realistically you have just over 5 years of fertility left. You’re definitely on the tale end of childbearing age.

Definitely not young - it's two decades older than what I'd class a young.

surely we are talking about adults?

I think it will eventually be changed as so many “ older “ mums now have even first children after 36 .
I had my last child at 39 and I hate the term !

It's not young by any stretch. I had my first at 35 and will have my second at 38 without any fertility issues fortunately as I did leave it a bit late I suppose. I don't feel old and most of my friends have children at around the same age, but it's definitely nearing the end of your fertile years I guess. I think the nhs tend to class over 40s as advanced maternal age now, it's changed in recent years.

Yes but you don't wake up on your 36th birthday to an OB-GYN shouting "happy birthday! RIP your wrinkly prune ovaries!"
The risk at 36 is minimally different to that at 35. It's not a cliff. It's just a slope. Additionally, it's first time conception over 35 that is a confounding factor in the statistics.

I wouldn't say it was relatively young, but a perfectly normal age to have a third child.

Back in the 1960s my mother had her third child at the age of 39.

Both my grandmothers had their third children at the age 34 (1920s and 30s)

I had my first at 36 and stopped at 2!

Additionally, it's first time conception over 35 that is a confounding factor in the statistics.

this

OP out of interest who has said this to you? I was a midwife for decades and also retired a decade and it wasn’t a term I ever heard, not once. There was some concern for older mothers as detailed above although this was largely directed at first time mums who were sometimes referred to as ‘elderly primigravidas’ probably over the age of 40.

Having a third child at 36 will attract literally zero attention from the medical profession unless you have some horrific medical history.

LOL my grandma said she was classed as elderly at 25 when she had her first in 1959! She was told she should have started sooner.
I dread to think if anyone would have dared say anything like that to my other grandma, who was a formidable ward matron and well over 30 before she had her first, in 1950, and had her last (fifth) at age 40.

I think it’s normal to have a 3rd. I know a lot of people my age - 50ish - who have early teens!!

Personally I dont rhink 36 is young. My own cut off was 35 (made it by two months!). But it is common. At NCT when I had my first, I was 32 and was the 2nd youngest by quite some way.

Personally I cant think of anything worse than going back to the baby years, think of all your freedom!

Not young but not old

Do not worry about being too old , honestly I had my fist at 20 second at 33 third at 39 and I’m still considering another . They all had benefits and nit so great things . First was easy pregnancy wise but I was not stable and still had no career , second and thrust I was so much more secure financially and that comes with peace of mind . I’m 40 now and honestly I still have lots of energy and don’t feel old at all . Most of the mums on my local school where my 5 year old goes too are late 30s and quite a few 40’s so I don’t feel old locally at all

Definitely wouldn't class it as young. My cut off is 35 as I would be classed as a geriatric pregnancy.
Struggled with infertility from the age of 27 to 30 and that was our cut off point. Now I have a child it's still my cut off age especially as my baby had IUGR and I had gestational diabetes x