Aibu to think that 36 is still relatively young to have a child?

[Hdaniels11]

I have a Dd who's 9 and a Ds who's 6 and i'm thinking of having another baby. I'm 36 now and was amazed when i find out once you turn 34 you are classed as a geriatric mother! I always thought 25-38 was the prime time to have babies. Aibu to think you shouldn't be classed as an older mother until you are in your 40s?

Yes, I think ots relatively young in the grand scheme of things :)
Lots of women have babies much later in life now, still young !!

Over 35 older mother for sure.

I was 34 with my first 36 with my second and 38 with my third. I was classed as an old first time mother. Definitely felt old by my last pregnancy!

I was classified as geriatric when I had my first at 37, 2nd at 39. Number 3 caught me by surprise at 44.

Excellent question. I think it would just make OP feel better!

It's a very old term but yes a woman over 35 is considered an older mum as there are more health risks. It's by no means too old to have a baby but the ideal time is in your twenties and early 30s.

So, whilst I hope you and your loved ones grow older healthily, you must realise that having kids young doesn't guarantee freedom at a young age. Nothing is certain.

Following from your post having kids older doesn't guarantee money or further education. Or that if you do secure those things, you'll even be able to conceive when you want to. Nothing is guaranteed @EmmaDilemma5

Absolutely right.

Not young, but young enough.
I had my first baby aged 36, and his little brother when I was 38. Fertility issues meant I was older than I'd planned to be having my first.
Both are lovely & healthy and now aged 20 & 18.

Also yes there may be some risks ..but there are far more women over the age of 35 much healthier and with less risk factors than some under the age of 30!

Most of the “official” studies which form the guidance regards risk of birth over the age of 40 - are very very old and outdated… pre 1960! Google it… a very interesting and actually discriminatory narrative towards women over the age of 40.

I’ve always been told at the hospital which has a huge greater number of 40 plus mums rather than under 30s that yes there are possibly more associated risks but by no means does it mean a high risk pregnancy …..

Where do you live purple? You’ve NEVER seen pregnant 40’s? Come to North London - you’ll see plenty! Career sorted, then kids. It’s normal.

Pregnancy in 40s is common here too. No teenage daughters!

If you are healthy, don’t worry about your age. I didn’t marry until I was 39; my husband is younger than me. I had 3 children in my 40s & no real issues (apart from morning sickness) during all the pregnancies. If you want another child, go for it!

My mum was called an old mum when she had me at 29 in 1987! She wasn’t allowed to have me in the maternity home she had to have me in hospital.

I had my 3rd (and final!) baby at 29.

Medically 35 yes would be geriatric. I know a few women whi are having babies without ivf in their 40s,one womans first 2 children are 18+ just decided she wanted another baby and is having the best time with the little one,other aquaintances are first time mums after spending their 20s and 30s climbing the career ladders and flying around the world. If you wish for another child follow your heart :)

Had my first at just under 37 and that was hard enough to conceive, but not a patch on then trying to conceive #2 at 40! I was grateful for the extra care and attention once I had. I'll take being "geriatric" if it means extra care in pregnancy and delivery...

Considering women have babies between 16 and say 46 at the extreme end, 36 is not 'relatively young' no. Its relatively old.

In my 1st proper job, early 90s, there was a woman who was expecting her 1st child at 35. We all thought that was pretty elderly back then.
In truth it is better, from a fertility point of view, to start trying way before 35.
I do know a number of women who have had dcs in their 40s, which shows how things have moved on.

Completely normal, especially for a 3rd child! However, I was 34 (almost 35) with my first and was classed as a geriatric. It’s not a nice term but obviously certain risks increase with age (apparently) so it just means they offer more monitoring??

My DiL had her 4th baby at age 42. You may not feel old but your body is aging. Your eggs aren't in as good nick as they were when you were 26. Just take it that you're a geriatric mother which only means they'll take special care with you.

36 is not young to have a baby, but it is not too old either. More typical for a third child I'd say.

I was 6 weeks off my 38th birthday when ds was born. There were 5 of us all pregnant together at work, 4 of us were 36 or older.

@Hdaniels11 I had a 6th and 7th baby as a “geriatric” mother and was classed as high risk because of the number of previous pregnancies (the midwife told me that there’s a much higher risk of womb rupture after 4 pregnancies plus of course my age and the fact that it had been 9.5 years since my last pregnancy!).

Everything went swimmingly except for now dealing with all the teenage crap at a much older age and OMG, it’s so hard. I thought parenting teenagers was hard in my 30’s & early 40’s; at 50+ it’s absolutely dire. Especially the teenage tantrums! Sometimes I just look at my teens and it’s like WTH is going on in their brains? And it’s no good remembering that their older siblings were the same as those same siblings are late 20’s up to late 30’s! And it’s like childbirth - the actual awful bits of parenting children just kind of fade away.

However, your children are still young so you won’t have passed through parenting 5 teenagers then a long gap and suddenly parenting another two!!

If you want a child, the risks, whilst there are low and can be mitigated by good prenatal, antenatal and postnatal care.

It is normal. Many say fertility declines at 35 but new research shows this is not the case. There is no cliff edge at 35 so unless there is something underlying then fertility doesn't wane at this age.

I had my first at 36 and second at 38. All fine, no complications etc, yes I was classed as geriatric but I wasn’t the oldest and I’d say it’s more normal now. You do have to consider the risks but like a previous poster said it’s a slope, not a cliff