Aibu to think that 36 is still relatively young to have a child?

[Hdaniels11]

I have a Dd who's 9 and a Ds who's 6 and i'm thinking of having another baby. I'm 36 now and was amazed when i find out once you turn 34 you are classed as a geriatric mother! I always thought 25-38 was the prime time to have babies. Aibu to think you shouldn't be classed as an older mother until you are in your 40s?

It's not young. Certainly not unusual or particularly old but definitely not young. It's society that tells us it's young but biologically it's actually getting on a bit.

I was 32 when I had my first and was given the geriatric title (it’s usually in Latin). I was told anything over 28 is classed as geriatric. My mum (now in her 70s) was 28 when she had me and was given that title too.

I am a midwife and yes, classed as geriatric mother over 36 years. The other thing you may see written is A.M.A or advanced maternal age! I was a Geriatric or Elderly primagravida (fist time mum) at 37 years and positively past it at 39 when I had number 2! It's just medical jargon and most of the women I see are un the mid to late 30's. A woman is in her prime to have children from late teens to late 20s but women have babies when they are ready, horses for courses!

@PurpleButterflyWings My MIL had her youngest at 41. Definitely her baby. Slightly unusual situation though as she had my DH at 16 and she was 40 when we had our first, so DH has a half sibling who is younger than our DD!

I don’t think you are too old at all. Many older career mums have babies later. If you are healthy & can afford another baby, go for it. Don’t delay as like others have said, it can get harder to conceive naturally the older you get. I had my first at 38 & second at 41. No one batted an eyelid. It was just the right time for it to happen for me. So go for it op.

😏Well, I achieved all of that in my twenties and still had DC so I must be an over achiever!
Btw, I do not consider taking on lifelong mortgages as financial security, only outright ownership fits that definition which is how I differ from the norm.

And I had them naturally as well by the way.

A female's whole life is a fertility decline.

90% of women 39 and under fall pregnant within 2 years of trying.

There is no 35 cliff.

*A female's whole life is a fertility decline

As is a male's incidentally; there is a reason clinics don't want sperm from donors over 39.

Men just don't have the menopause cug off that women do. But their genetic material still ages and reduces in quality.

*cut off

She's also one intensely irritating b!tch.

The only women I've ever really known who've had babies in their 40s, especially mid to late 40s

You obviously don't read the pregnancy choices board on here ... Cause there's a 40 something woman in there every week crapping themselves about being pregnant, having believed they were past it and taken risks.

I completely agree! Most of the Mum’s in my baby group are late 40’s

Also you must come from a community/country with no strong religious influence; because here (with both catholic and v conservative protestant influences), it was very common for women to have kids in their 40s until the church's grip lessened in recent years.

I had mine at 32 and 34 and wasn’t classed as geriatric, what a horrible name to use anyway. I have since become very good family friends of all the other parents in my dds primary school class and we are all about the same age,

It's not young but geriatric mother is complete bollocks.

I find it very difficult to believe that the majority of mums in a baby group would be in their late 40s. It’s statistically pretty rare to have a baby over the age of 47. Yes it’s very common to have a baby at 36, it’s not an age that should put you off having a third of you want one. However it’s still not young to have a baby!

My great aunt had a DD at 45.

Growing up, my neighbour and my school mates Mum had babies at 46 too.

My great aunt is Catholic, old school (in her 90s now).

The others were kinds dippy and got caught.

The reason my Mum and many of her acquaintances didn't was that they got married young, had kids young, had 4 or so and couldn't afford any more; so got sterilised.

It's not young, no.

It would probably be on the older side for having a first child in many areas in the UK.

It would be within the normal range for having a 3rd baby, as you say.

Many women are having babies when they are older now, it it doesn't mean they are young or relatively young though.

I like your sample! This is broadly what I’ve read about conception in late 30s, that it is still very possible even if less likely than when you’re younger.

I find it quite difficult to read comment after comment about the ‘ideal’ and ‘prime’ years to have a baby presented as ‘biological fact’. When my Mum was my age - 33- she was a divorced, depressed, single mother with a 7 year old. 26 was not an ‘ideal’ time for her to baby in any sense other than cellular. It almost certainly made her life a lot more difficult and extended a failing relationship by several years. My relative who was a young mum at 22 has struggled enormously with her mental health since having a baby. I was depressed for most of my ‘prime’ reproductive years, I consciously did not get pregnant when I could have done at that time and I’m now very grateful I didn’t.
If the ‘biological facts’ suggest you still have a decent chance of having kids in your late 30s then it will probably work out well for me that I didn’t bring a child into a relationship that would certainly have ended by now when I would not have been emotionally able to cope.

I had my third at 36. My first ones were in my twenties.

I went for my first antenatal appointment at the hospital and I was the oldest there.

I was so much more tired with this one. Broken nights were so much harder. There was a huge difference in my physical wellbeing from my twenties to 36.

I had to have extra screening as a close relative had a baby with Down's at 36. Luckily DD was fine. My first two popped out in two hours flat. The third was two days.

This is about risks to the baby and pregnancy…, Risks for lots of thing go up after 34. don’t take it personally. Doctors aren’t trying to insult you. Just to make sure they give you and your baby the best care according to your risk designation.

Had my second at 36. Felt old and took ages to recover. My mother was 32 when she had me in the 70’s and she was classed as a geriatric mother. It’s a horrible term, but just a medical term.

36 is not young to have a baby, no.

Absolutely true! I think a lot of people had a career first as we are in a very professional area