Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

It’s discrimination to prevent a women from breastfeeding a child younger than 6 months old in a public place. Licensed premises may be different because of the hazards posed. Nightclubs, theatres, operas etc. but we are talking about a school nativity play. The HT doesn’t have special legal powers to stop a woman feeding her baby.

Perhaps that could be the warmup act for this concert.

i feel that in this day and age I shouldn’t be put in this position

What on earth does that mean? Do you want her to be fed digitally?

You're in exactly the same position as every other parent. Get DH to do one performance and you do the other and delay feeding by half an hour. It's really not a big deal.

Aww, the wannabe lawyers are still trying to claim this is discrimination. Is this what happens when you watch Judge Judy all day?

I wonder if poor OP is still reading?

She is planning on doing exactly that. I’m sure her baby will be fine and her nativity child will be thrilled that mum was there watching every moment.

The HT doesn’t have special legal powers to stop a woman feeding her baby.

No, but s/he does have the powers to stop a baby coming into the school building in the first place.

I’d certainly breastfeed at a wedding and a funeral. I breastfed whilst my Nan was in palliative care as it was the only way to be with her as I couldn’t leave my newborn. No need to shout about my rights. I just quietly got on with it. Many years on am more than happy to defend others’ rights. Sometimes we can support others without it being motivated by self-interest.

I don’t think a HT can ban a baby from entering the school premises

Babies, and siblings on laps, are allowed at ours. But they have to be DEAD QUIET and close to the door just in case. Actually ridiculous that schools choose not to accommodate this.

Voice of reason - thank you. Feel like I’m going mad. Haven’t been on MN for ages… feel oddly disconnected from the world on here

Some of the dafter lactivism really does have a lot to answer for.

Maybe the HT of this school has learned the hard way that this doesn't work for them.

What does that mean?

It’s ridiculous. It’s not fair for single mums who haven’t got anyone to look after the children or as in this situation, tiny babies.
If babies cry, sit by the door & take them out.

Children in nativities are not put off or upset by babies crying. If they’re nervous, it’s normally because parents are there.

People don't come up with these quite easily disproven ideas about breastfeeding women being entitled to bring their babies places they aren't entitled to bring them in a vacuum. Every time a thread like this comes up, there are invariably multiple posters who don't understand the legal difference between being prevented from breastfeeding somewhere and one or both of the dyad being prevented from being there in the first place. So the poor OP, who just wanted a vent, has ended up with pages of the Dunning Kruger effect from people who've clearly never even read the legislation, much less understood it.

I have no words. Do it earlier. Rules are rules. Children fit in with you not the other way around.

Dont disturb her routine

Of course they can, just as they are banning all other older siblings too. No kids other than those preforming.
A pretty basic and easy to follow rule, unless you’re a total dick.

I fully understand the legislation, I don’t understand your remark regarding it. I may not be a lawyer, but have plenty of experience with legislation in education and understand only too well how schools can make blanket statements without realising they are walking into a potential midfield. I expect the school in question wanted to limit numbers for practical and fire safety reasons. I guess they thought a blanket sibling ban was fair. I doubt they thought through the implications of banning breastfeeding woman from attending with her <6 month old. No doubt they felt that allowing this Mum to bring her child would in some way ‘open the floodgates’ but of course it wouldn’t. The sibling ban could still be applied. HTs use their discretion. They do not ‘ban’ babies. They request cooperation so that events such as nativity plays run smoothly. They don’t have legal powers to prevent any parent bringing a child into the school premises.

It's not fair on anyone who can't make it for whatever reason. Most if not all of the teachers running this will never see their own children perform. Life isn't fair.

What about teaming up with other breastfeeding mums and doing three babies balanced on each other’s shoulders in a trench coat, it’s literally illegal not to let them in like that.

This whole thread proves exactly why no exceptions can be made. OP thinks she deserves special treatment as she is breastfeeding, single mum's are chiming in they feel they deserve special treatment because of childcare, people with siblings at school feel they should be given priority as their actually goes to the school and of course there are people who feel they should be allowed in with theirs because 'it's about families.' On a side note siblings at school most likely will see it in school and it's not about families, it's note even really about baby Jesus, it's 100% down for the kids to shine and take centre stage and share their hard work.

Breastfeeding can be altered and adapted at the very worst baby maybe a little bit grouchy waiting for mum to get home. But the worst for the school is that a neurodivergent child, or a shy child or indeed any child who has worked their socks off by a baby suddenly wailing in tears as no one heard their line or the baby made them freeze. I guarantee you if it was your child who was in this position, you would be gutted. The same goes for every child up there!

It's half an hour. It has clearly been a problem for the school before, they wouldn't make this ban to exclude but to make sure every child has their moment. Being a bit adaptable for 30 mins isn't a huge request.

The fact that you think the head must be acting in convention of equality legislation here is in itself evidence that you don't understand it. There is no freestanding right in equalities legislation for a breastfeeding woman to bring the baby wherever she's going or it's discriminatory. If there was, you'd be able to quote the relevant provision.

And it's a shame, because this is a genuinely important issue. Women's breastfeeding rights matter sufficiently that it's bad for all of us when people show themselves up conflating not being allowed into a place with being prevented from breastfeeding.

Children in nativities are not put off or upset by babies crying.

Yes, they are. If you haven’t been an adult working on a nativity you might not have noticed it, but of course children will be put off by babies crying.

If they’re nervous, it’s normally because parents are there.

Well yes, obviously. They’ve gone from practicing in their classroom and an empty hall to standing in front of a room packed with people looking at them. The audience are supposed to be there to support those children, the least they can do is quietly sit still while they’re supposed to.