Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

Smuggle her in under a big baggy top

I can’t believe any mother would even contemplate missing her child’s nativity play. I am in a senior role and make sure every parent on my team gets to their child’s and can make up the work time if needed. Some moments in a child’s life are precious

Well, while it’s fantastic you’re a manager who appreciates the importance of work-life balance, and works for a company that can support flexible working, it’s not beyond your imagination that not all women have the luxury of being able to ‘contemplate’ or otherwise?

Dress her as a sheep and sneak her onstage. “Wah wah!” is pretty close to “Bah bah!”

You are entitled If an exception was made for you every other sibling would need to be there too Just gobor don't go there is no go and take baby too option

It’s very rubbish if you are a single parent but I do understand why they do it.

My DDs was 1 parent only and no partners or siblings and there were 2 performances so each parent could go separately and then it would be filmed and sold on DVD for any extended family members to watch.

I support HTs on this
Don't just turn up and expect to be the exception to the rule, you'll make yourself very unpopular, you and every other parent have been told no siblings, so you make arrangements or don't go-the choice is yours

Not very family friendly! It's a school Xmas play - the important thing is having family there - it's not a professional performance. I thought a school would be more community minded

Yes of course. Your desire to watch absolutely trumps every other parent 🙄

@bangersandmash2 It is not a professional performance. But it is very upsetting for the shy children if no one can hear them because of noisy toddler or baby.
It is for the benefit of the children performing. Not their families.

I’m a discrimination lawyer and you have fundamentally misunderstood this. It is not discrimination.

The Equality Act does not entitle you to take a breastfed baby wherever you please otherwise discrimination.

Disgusted at MN about smuggling the baby in good one until everyone turns around looking at OP with an unsettled baby... usually MN are one to follow rules 🤣

I don't think the feeding habits of the baby give it a special pass - I'd expect any younger siblings to be welcome, on the basis a lot of parents couldn't come if they weren't able to bring them. For me that trumps being able to hear every line in perfect silence. (And goes without saying crying children shld be taken out.)
And with regards the shy child - suspect that's still more about the parents being able to bask in their child's line, doubt the child cares that much.

I think you are being a bit precious to be honest.
I can understand if it was a whole day or hours even, but maximum will be around an hour. It really is not a big deal.

I’ve been there and got the t shirt . Your child will cope without you for an hour.

As a teacher, who has put on many nativities over the years, it's fair. It is so heartbreaking when kids put all that work in, make sure they learn their lines, build up the confidence to say those lines in a room full of people for them to be put off over a crying or cooing baby. I have had 5 year olds in tears over this. It's not fair on them or their parents who are desperate to see and hear their little ones.

There cannot be an exception to the rule, if one gets it, everyone will expect the same. Contrary to what PP's have said, t's actually not about the families or the community, it's about the kids performing, it is their time to shine.

I would work the baby timetable around, it's one day.

Our HT takes no shit. She’s great and I have a great relationship with her.
We have parents only performances and there is a few with siblings allowed I think, but our head does say if the siblings make noise and cry or whatever, then the parents will have to take them out.
It’s about the children in the Nativity as someone up thread said , not about their families. Nothing worse than watching a gorgeous little nativity play and having to listen other people’s kids screaming / whining etc and you miss out on your child’s one and only line or whatever. It’s ridiculous. And very unfair.

The banning of siblings at the annual snorefest god am I glad I don't have to sit through that shite anymore nativity play has been going on since my nearly 19 year old was in infant school.

However my kids infant school allowed siblings in for the dress rehearsal.

It's only one feed on one day you'll have to muck about with however your other DC which be delighted to see you;the reason I always went was the fact I'd always see the kids faces searching out their parents in the audience which is why I always felt bad for the parents with weekday hours jobs.It's great the school does a 7pm show;how very thoughtful of them.

Interesting, @thenewduchessoflapland, as our children must be similar ages, but it couldn't have been more different. If one particular class put on some kind of show, their siblings in other classes were positively encouraged to attend, regardless of whether they were in Year 8 or Nursery. Schools clearly vary!

You're being a bit precious.

Many have offered suggestions.

Your baby will very likely be just fine if fed early.
Even if your baby does start to cry at home while you're gone for an hour, so what! Your baby isn't going to go kaboom for crying.

Let the kids on the stage have their special moment.

I’m very surprised people finding this ok. Breastfeeding should be ok anywhere. If baby cries, you would have to leave. I feel like the demographic here might be older so have different views. I would push back. Everybody has different levels of confidence and needs so you do what you have to do.

Wow!! How selfish are you??
No one else wants to listen to your child drown out the children taking part!
You are not any more important or special than the rest of the parents attending.

Breastfeeding a child at a nativity isn't the issue.

bringing a sibling to a nativity IS the issue.

Good grief🙄

I’m 29 and thoroughly believe that women should be able to breastfeed in public, wherever they feel comfortable.

That does not mean that the OP should have a special pass to take her baby into the nativity audience.

It isn’t about stopping mothers from breast feeding. It’s about having a quiet environment in order for the pupils to perform and parents to watch. So everyone can enjoy and not being disrupted or disturbed by crying babies and toddlers.

You have completely missed the point and look very silly trying to class this as an “older demographic” issue. Gross.

It's nothing to do with breastfeeding. It's about having no siblings present, including babies. I don't get what people are failing to understand about that?

My children's school said this last year when my daughter was a baby. They were happy to accommodate her due to breastfeeding, just asked if I could leave the buggy so not to take up space.

I'd speak to someone and explain the situation to double check it's a firm no, I'm sure you could feed discretely due the performance and if the baby did cry then you can step outside.

Feeding 30 minutes earlier will be fine if the school won't budge.

It's normal. You can leave a 4 month old baby for half an hour, and yes I did breastfeed both of my children until they were 1+ and they survived being left for short periods of time at that age. Some people (like myself) will be taking time off work specially to go to their child's nativity and don't want it ruined by a crying baby.