"A little girl being rough with her hands"

[Jourdain11]

DC's primary gave them the option to watch the football yesterday and both my DD2 (year 5) and DS did. The ones who didn't want to watch (like my DD1!) got to read or watch st

Did you post to soon...?

Arghhh, moving keyboard - sorry! Posted too soon.

The ones who didn't want to watch (like my DD1!) got to read or watch sth else. My DD2 has a feisty relationship with a couple of the boys in her class. This boy said to her, why was she watching the football, it was just for the boys. She told him to shut up and he called her a lesbian. She said he was "dumb as soup" (and she didn't get that expression from me!) They seem to have kept it up for a while and he started elbowing her. She said she got sick of it, so after a bit she sort of slapped at his arm.

At this point, the TA who was keeping an eye on them came over and separated then, and told my DD it was "not nice to see a little girl being rough with her hands"!

I may be unreasonable and hung up on the wrong things here but honestly - it's like sth out of the 1950s!!

I'm not going to say anything, but I think it's insane that someone says that, while apparently it's far less objectionable for a "little boy" to be rough with his elbows.

Yes!

That’s a ridiculous thing for the TA to say, how dated & sexist.

And the TA and teachers should’ve been keeping a closer eye before it got to that stage anyway!

YANBU in the slightest to object to girls being singled out for this - but I'm gobsmacked that any school lets children watch a football match. WTF?

Loads of schools were letting children watch the match yesterday

I’d complain that 1) they’d fail to notice the boy’s sex-based bullying of your daughter and subsequent physical violence and 2) the disgraceful sexist comment from the member of staff. I tell my daughter that she’s not to hit anyone first, but if they hit her she is absolutely right to thump them back (and any pathetic nicey-nicey-gentle-hands teachers can take it up with me if they object).

Both my children's PE lessons yesterday were spent watching the football.

Agree it's a sexist and dated thing to say.

YANBU it's not nice to see a male child of this age being a little prick to girls.

YANBU and actually I would be taking it up with the school, for what the TA said and what the boy said. I'm sick of our daughters being told things like football are only for boys, enough.

I would 100% be speaking to the class teacher about this incident OP! One for the comment from the TA but two the 'lesbian' comment and elbowing from the little boy. Neither things are ok. A bit has verbally abused her, elbowed her, she's retaliated and then she's the one that's got 'told off' for it. Stand up for your girl.

@BeardieWeirdie said it better than me - what she said 😁

The TA missed an opportunity to remind a sexist young man who it was who won the Euros and how sport is becoming more inclusive. Very poor show she did not step in before to prevent negative stereotypes being used

I think you should take it up with the school First for the sexist bollocks the boy was spouting, that he initiated physical contact and that the TA came out with even more sexist bollocks.

What are their policies on sex based sports etc?

It’s not a new thing. I remember watching some of the 1986 cup at Primary school. I can’t remember if it was a live match or if a teacher had videod it the night before and brought in the recording.

Also the TA was out of order

I'm more pissed off about the TA than the kid! If she'd been upset about the boy then yes, but I'm more bothered by the fact that she got a gender-based telling off for sticking up for herself (especially when the argument itself was gender-related!).

Agree with speaking to the school about this I should have added that

YABU not to complain tbh!! Absolutely unacceptable all around 😕

I think the teacher and TA will say that they may well have said 'it's not nice to see a little boy being rough with their hands'. They often speak like this in primaries. You can't prove that it was said in a sexist way at all. The lesbian comment is not good. I would be focusing on:
what you do if someone says something like this to you at school - tell the teacher so it can be dealt with at the time
if elbowed, move away and again tell the teacher

What you don't do is get into an argument that leads to both parties being physical. Where I work, both children would be told off for being physical when they had another option - report to a member of staff.

Bloody Hell. I'd have been pissed off if my children had been watching football. What's the point of school? They could just as well do this at home.

I always wonder if parents talk in the terms that they do here at home. When your kids at home elbow one another and say something mean, do you tell them off for verbal abuse, sexism and physical aggression? Do you report yourself for failing to safeguard your child from your other child? This is two kids being mean to each other. Let's not over complicate things.

This is two kids being mean to each other. Let's not over complicate things.

it started with a boy telling a girl that "football is for boys". So push off with the "oh let's not overcomplicate" and nip fucking sexist bullshit in the bud.

And when was the little girl mean? Defending herself you mean?

Ooooh I’d be up there like a shot!

Both for the not noticing how the boy was behaving or putting a stop to it, and for the sexist comment to your Dd. If they’d said “child” then fine, but they specifically said “girl” (plus they said nothing to the boy).

Too right.