"A little girl being rough with her hands"

[Jourdain11]

DC's primary gave them the option to watch the football yesterday and both my DD2 (year 5) and DS did. The ones who didn't want to watch (like my DD1!) got to read or watch st

No its a culture of sexism and standing by in order "not to complicate things" is telling both boys and girls that this isn't a big deal and we will minimise it.

Its utterly unacceptable for girls to be told they can't do a school activity because "girl", that they are subject to a classic bit of homophobic sexism when they try to assert their place, and the girl is the one told to be a nice little girly.

It is a big deal that every day sexism is so pervasive in schools and enabled by some staff for an easy life.

In our school the lesbian comment would be counted as derogatory language against a protected characteristic and would therefore be "red" behaviour and actually count as far worse than a bit of shoving. I think you should say something.

Are you sure that’s what the TA said? Your DD should have told an adult when the boy started. If the TA did say that it’s obviously wrong to use her gender.

Of course the responses had been different if it had been two girls. Because we're all bloody tired of the kind of toxic masculinity which means 10 year old boys think football isn't for girls and think it's okay to call them a lesbian if they dare to show an interest. It's because we should have progressed further than that by now. And it's not the boy's fault that's what he's been taught to believe, but it should damn well be stamped out now.

I'd be speaking to the school OP. Out dated attitude.

And I'm a mum of boys. Neither of whom would dream of making a comment like that

I can't speak for the boy but my daughter knows perfectly well what lesbian means (our neighbours downstairs are a same-sex couple and she also has a friend at her sport club who has two mums). She wasn't a bit upset about being called a lesbian, but she was annoyed that he used it as an insult. I don't necessarily think it means the boy is a massive homophobe, he was just trying to be smart.

I also don't think it's great for her to go around whacking people, but I'd rather she wasn't encouraged to think that a Nice Little Girl Keeps Her Hands to Herself. If she really needs to defend herself one day, I'd like her to feel confident to do so.

I obviously wasn't there. She repeated it a lot of times though, with great indignation, so I don't think she was fibbing!

A 10 year old getting accused of toxic masculinity? It’s not okay to make those comments… but I would take the same view of a 10 year old child saying it irrespective of sex. If it was a teenager or adult, I would have a different opinion.

I'd definitely be speaking to the school about it as well for the comment made by the TA. These things are the reason why misogyny continue to exist.

OP I think you’re dead right - I’d be really annoyed. Not sure if it’s worth actually raising though - I think I’d just tell my daughter - yes the boy was wrong to make those sexist insults, neither of you should have been fighting, and yes well spotted, your TA came out with an old fashioned comment, it happens, nobody should be rough with their hands, boys too. If that sort of comment happens more than once I’d speak to the teacher.

To prevent truancy to watch the only England game scheduled in school hours for group stage. It started at 1pm. Also it promotes community spirit amongst the kids. It is quite usual.

Your post is barmy. Your DD is a girl
what makes you think that if she had seen one of the little boys slapping your dd she wouldn't have talked about a little boy being rough with his hands

Speak to the teacher and clarify what happened.
The TA sounds like something out of the 1950s, very strange turn of phrase.

Barmy, how?!

Mainly because it never happens.

Because the TA made no comment about the boy being rough with his elbows first.

Wow! I’m a teacher and if this had been said to a girl in my class by an adult I’d 100% want to know! Totally sexist, archaic and annoying. I’d have told him that we don’t use sexuality as an insult then told them both to keep their hands to themselves. No gender related nonsense necessary!

TA is totally out of order. I'd also want the casual homophobia stamped on. I hate it when kids use gay or lesbian as an insult. It's something I come down super hard when my own kids have done it.

#FlissyPaps

Sadly, being paid minimum wage sometimes mean that schools take on pretty much anyone. Some staff are lovely, nurturing and are up to date with what is appropriate and what isn’t when it comes to talking to children. Others, like the one the op was talking about, are not. Being educated to a certain standard, should hopefully help although I’m aware that it doesn’t always work like that. I don’t know of any teachers who would say that to a child. Perhaps you do?

'dumb as soup' is brilliant.

YANBU.

Yes, this is pretty much how I feel!

The TA is an 'afternoons only' one with the other Y5 class, I think. They mixed the classes so that the kids who wanted football could watch in one and those who didn't could watch in the other. I don't think DD really knows her, or vice versa.

Everyone who thinks this is fine should take a look at Man Who Has It All

realmsofglory- totally agree. Sick of hearing parents harp on about stuff like this. Lets teach our kidsthat boundaries are just that,whether you are make or female.

Definitely sexist and I'm not surprised. The gender stereotyped crap I hear from both my son's school and daughter's preschool is wild.

I don't know how I'd approach this actually. Staff can get defensive I find and that's not helpful. You'd also have to speak to a member of SLT who understands why this is an issue - many don't.

As an aside, I think school culture generally is traditional and sexist. Nobody in the corporate world refers to women by marital titles anymore yet most kids at my school know which of their female teachers is married or not. They haven't a clue about the men cos they all go by Mr!