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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep parking in front of this "drive"?

342 replies

Droppingthekerb · 22/11/2022 15:40

Sorry it's a long one. I'll start off by saying that due to mobility issues I do drive my children to school which is about 1.5 miles from our house. I do not however qualify for a blue badge.

There are several residential streets near the school where people park to take kids to the school. I imagine it is annoying for the people who live there but there are no restrictions on the road in terms of yellow lines etc and generally I'd say people are respectful of the residents. There are a couple of cars who park overhanging the yellow zigzags and some on bends but for the most part people park at the side of the road and don't block driveways. Dropped kerbs are marked with white lines so it is clear where it is ok to park.

I tend to park on the street one up from the school as usually it is quieter and there's more chance of getting a space. Until recently there was a house on the street that had fallen into disrepair with an overgrown front garden. Over the last couple of months there have been tradespeople coming and doing up the house and now the front garden has been paved over. About 2 weeks ago I parked in front of this house and a man came running out of the house opposite shouting at me that I couldn't park there as I was blocking a drive. I had my kids with me and told him I did not appreciate being shouted at in front of them especially as there was no dropped kerb so it wasn't a driveway. There wasn't a car parked on it either. He stormed off back into his house.

A few days later I saw the space was available and as it was raining there were a lot of extra cars on the school run so spots were at a premium. I parked there again and returned to a note on my car not to block driveways.

I don't park there every time as there are other spaces available often before I get to that spot but last week I was running late for pick up and noticed the space was free again - I was feeling a bit petty too by this point. However, there was a police officer speaking to drivers about their parking to ensure it was safe as it was near a school. I parked there and the police officer stopped me and said she'd had a complaint about people blocking the drive. I pointed out there was no dropped kerb and she immediately said, "Oh, you're absolutely right. Carry on."

This morning it was again the only available space but today there was a car on the drive and seemingly new residents. I parked up as usual to find the man from the house opposite screaming at me again in front of my kids that I was blocking the drive and now the new resident of the house coming out to join in. I tried to keep my cool but it is quite intimidating having 2 men shouting at you in public especially with young children. I said I needed to get the kids to school but they were misinformed if they thought it was a drive as it didn't have a dropped kerb and actually he was in the wrong for driving his car over the pedestrian footpath. Neither of them were listening though as they just kept shouting over the top of me.

When I came back to my car he had taken a photo of it and then a photo of me and told me he was reporting me to the police. I again tried to explain about the lack of dropped kerb and he flat out told me that was not true, that he had the right to create a driveway whereever he wanted and that actually parking on the street full stop (driveway or no driveway) was against the law and he should know because he is a lawyer. I told him he was speaking rubbish and to look on the council website as it is very clear.

Up to now I've parked in other spots if they have been available but AIBU to keep parking in front of this "drive" just to make a point because they have pissed me off?

OP posts:
mam0918 · 22/11/2022 17:25

I do think repeatedly engaging is ridiculous... just keep reporting him to the council with photos, your not allowed to drive over pavements, it costs the council money so they like to come stop it and then you can be smug that you 'won' without any risk to yourself, your car or your children.

trigger warning
People litrally kill over parking rage, just the other day I heard a heartbreaking story about a man who beat a mother unconcious then murdered her toddler by grabbing her from her pram and slamming her head first onto the road because the mother took what he deemed 'too long' to cross the road on to the pavement where he wanted to park.

Moral high ground will not save you if someone sees the red mist.

startfresh · 22/11/2022 17:25

startfresh · 22/11/2022 17:19

Years after the fact, I still regret not spending a few days parking in front of the "drive" I was written a note not to block.

I wrote a letter back to show the law, but just dropped it instead.

It still makes me mad that she thought she had the right to tell me that I could not use a legal space (again, no dropped kerb) which was counted in the council review as a space for the residential parking.

I would park there and post the "dropped kerb" law print outs to their houses.

I'll add, it was an empty "drive", only place to park and they needed it free for a visitor the next day.

But the council had told us it was one of the counted spaces of parking for our area and was on a main road.

DottieUncBab · 22/11/2022 17:27

Yeah like others I don’t understand why you park there when you don’t like confrontation. Stop being petty.

missmollygreen · 22/11/2022 17:27

Its not illegal but I wouldnt, personally.
Surely more cars on "driveways" means more spaces for parents to park without upsetting anyone

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 22/11/2022 17:27

Actually in the last instance the op was wrong because it is an offence to block a car from accessing the highway, the dropped kerb is irrelevant, that's a different offence but if a car is on the 'drive' don't park there

BrewandBiscuit · 22/11/2022 17:29

Not setting a great example to your kids…

Newlifestartingatlast · 22/11/2022 17:30

Question;how wide is the road, and are there driveways opposite and are those driveways narrow?

i live on a narrow ish road- a bin lorry can get down easily and past parked up cars if careful, so not tiny. There are dropped curb ways but if someone parks opposite my driveway, on the side without the drop curb, I simply can’t get out. I don’t drive a big car- vw golf and theirs doesn’t need to be big. Our driveways however are 1960 width size and there is just not enough room to manoeuvre a car out with one parked opposite. You literally have to pull out in straight line the whole length of your car before you can start turning. By then you’ll have crunched into the car opposite.

luckily, we are all obliging neighbours and I can usually track down who has visitors that have parked and I get them to pull back while I get in/out. It did delay me once getting to an airport though - Neighbours had house sitters and they were sleeping like death warmed up and didn’t hear me knocking, then banging🤷🏼‍♀️

but if this is situation and you are vanishing off for 10-15mins to drop off, it may well mean you are blocking people in or out. Legally you are ok, but it isn’t very nice to do this and is creating an obstruction.

Boooooot · 22/11/2022 17:30

CapMarvel · 22/11/2022 17:19

But not non-assholes enough to apply for dropped kerbs?

Do you know how much a dropped kerb costs?

namechangetheworld · 22/11/2022 17:31

Yeah, I'd carry on parking there, just to be petty, but I'd get a dash cam installed.

I once stopped my car outside down a posh residential street to give my toddler a snack. The house was down a looong driveway with a dropped kerb which I drove a about 5 feet past before pulling up. A woman came out after a few minutes, knocked on my window, and told me I was "making her children nervous" by parking outside of their house. Absolutely batshit. I was young woman feeding a kid in the backseat, not a bloke in a trenchcoat peering at them with binoculars. I laughed and closed the window on her, and I should probably be a bit ashamed of that, but I'm not.

ScarlettSunset · 22/11/2022 17:33

I would park elsewhere if there was space, but park there if that was the only option available. If the owner doesn't want anyone to park there, he can park his own car there where it's legal and not risking the pavement or utilities. Obviously if he does that, you won't be able to park there anyway, but unless he does, or gets a dropped kerb then it's a space that's available for parking in.
I'd probably also report them to the council as they could be causing damage.

realmsofglory · 22/11/2022 17:33

why on earth would you do that? It is so rude
We have a similar arrangement which use occasionally as extra parking (you dont need dropped kerb/permission if it is not used HABITUALLY)
Never in 15 years anyone has ever blocked access

diddl · 22/11/2022 17:33

Do you know how much a dropped kerb costs?

Less than repairs to pavements that have been repeatedly driven over?

RoachPussy · 22/11/2022 17:34

I’d report them to the council as they are repeatedly driving over the pavement if there’s no dropped kerb. Yes I can be petty.

LadyLapsang · 22/11/2022 17:35

You may be in the right legally, but I feel sorry for the busy headteacher who no doubt will now have to deal with the additional work / hassle of dealing with the complaints about you from the residents.

Pandaparty · 22/11/2022 17:35

SouperNoodle · 22/11/2022 17:23

You blocked a car in. Why are your needs more important than theirs? You are the asshole in this situation.

Maybe because she's obeying the law whereas he's breaking it? That's fairly relevant, I'd say.

Georgyporky · 22/11/2022 17:35

You are technically right, but you are also being petty, & asking for your car to be damaged.

TrashyPanda · 22/11/2022 17:35

HeddaGarbled · 22/11/2022 16:16

Why would you continue to do something that you know is upsetting someone a lot?

Exactly

its like you are spoiling for a fight

Mumsanetta · 22/11/2022 17:37

HuntingHappiness · 22/11/2022 15:48

They’ve asked you not to, not nicely admittedly but not the point.
Do you just think ‘fuck ‘em, I’m right’ and keep doing it anyway to prove some kind of point?
I’m not thick skinned enough for that tbh so I’m just curious.

These people are bullies who are probably used to getting their own way after shouting so, yes, I absolutely would keep doing it and after dropping my kids off I would call the police (non emergency number) to report the harassment the next time they shouted at me. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar especially when you are mistakenly under the impression that you own the street. Cheeky fuckers.
@Droppingthekerb report them.

drpet49 · 22/11/2022 17:37

OhmygodDont · 22/11/2022 15:43

No drop kerb no drive way. I’d report him the council. They might well come stick a bollard there mine does sometimes when they are feeling extra petty.

I could understand if he was due a drop kerb and you was blocking the tradesmen installing it but his clearly not got it booked in.

This.

OoooohMatron · 22/11/2022 17:37

Pandaparty · 22/11/2022 17:35

Maybe because she's obeying the law whereas he's breaking it? That's fairly relevant, I'd say.

Blocking someone in isn't obeying the law. I hope you don't drive.

CapMarvel · 22/11/2022 17:37

Boooooot · 22/11/2022 17:30

Do you know how much a dropped kerb costs?

As a matter of fact I do, but it's an irrelevant point.

If you are too tight to get one ultimately you don't have the right to call people assholes for parking in front of your non-driveway.

Boooooot · 22/11/2022 17:39

CapMarvel · 22/11/2022 17:37

As a matter of fact I do, but it's an irrelevant point.

If you are too tight to get one ultimately you don't have the right to call people assholes for parking in front of your non-driveway.

Too tight 🤣

I’m not the asshole here.

Gonnabegrandma · 22/11/2022 17:40

Do it . Bloody cheapskates want a drive way but won’t pay for planning and works to achieve it

batchainpuller · 22/11/2022 17:40

YABU. You know it’s pissing people off and they think it’s a drive. Why antagonise them?

Pixiedust1234 · 22/11/2022 17:40

Boooooot · 22/11/2022 17:30

Do you know how much a dropped kerb costs?

yes I do. And I paid it. If you don't then you can't complain if you get fined for driving across the pavement, which can be more than a dropped kerb in the first place.

Just pay it or don't park on your pretend patio.