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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep parking in front of this "drive"?

342 replies

Droppingthekerb · 22/11/2022 15:40

Sorry it's a long one. I'll start off by saying that due to mobility issues I do drive my children to school which is about 1.5 miles from our house. I do not however qualify for a blue badge.

There are several residential streets near the school where people park to take kids to the school. I imagine it is annoying for the people who live there but there are no restrictions on the road in terms of yellow lines etc and generally I'd say people are respectful of the residents. There are a couple of cars who park overhanging the yellow zigzags and some on bends but for the most part people park at the side of the road and don't block driveways. Dropped kerbs are marked with white lines so it is clear where it is ok to park.

I tend to park on the street one up from the school as usually it is quieter and there's more chance of getting a space. Until recently there was a house on the street that had fallen into disrepair with an overgrown front garden. Over the last couple of months there have been tradespeople coming and doing up the house and now the front garden has been paved over. About 2 weeks ago I parked in front of this house and a man came running out of the house opposite shouting at me that I couldn't park there as I was blocking a drive. I had my kids with me and told him I did not appreciate being shouted at in front of them especially as there was no dropped kerb so it wasn't a driveway. There wasn't a car parked on it either. He stormed off back into his house.

A few days later I saw the space was available and as it was raining there were a lot of extra cars on the school run so spots were at a premium. I parked there again and returned to a note on my car not to block driveways.

I don't park there every time as there are other spaces available often before I get to that spot but last week I was running late for pick up and noticed the space was free again - I was feeling a bit petty too by this point. However, there was a police officer speaking to drivers about their parking to ensure it was safe as it was near a school. I parked there and the police officer stopped me and said she'd had a complaint about people blocking the drive. I pointed out there was no dropped kerb and she immediately said, "Oh, you're absolutely right. Carry on."

This morning it was again the only available space but today there was a car on the drive and seemingly new residents. I parked up as usual to find the man from the house opposite screaming at me again in front of my kids that I was blocking the drive and now the new resident of the house coming out to join in. I tried to keep my cool but it is quite intimidating having 2 men shouting at you in public especially with young children. I said I needed to get the kids to school but they were misinformed if they thought it was a drive as it didn't have a dropped kerb and actually he was in the wrong for driving his car over the pedestrian footpath. Neither of them were listening though as they just kept shouting over the top of me.

When I came back to my car he had taken a photo of it and then a photo of me and told me he was reporting me to the police. I again tried to explain about the lack of dropped kerb and he flat out told me that was not true, that he had the right to create a driveway whereever he wanted and that actually parking on the street full stop (driveway or no driveway) was against the law and he should know because he is a lawyer. I told him he was speaking rubbish and to look on the council website as it is very clear.

Up to now I've parked in other spots if they have been available but AIBU to keep parking in front of this "drive" just to make a point because they have pissed me off?

OP posts:
Pandaparty · 23/11/2022 15:50

For not being the sort of cock who repeatedly antagonises someone outside their own house

Yes, the horror. Those poor men should definitely be able to rant and rave and break the law given it's 'outside their own house'.

wants to dob them into the council/police because they haven't paid £££ for a dropped kerb.

You don't seem to understand the law. She wouldn't be dobbing them in for not paying for a dropped kerb. They aren't obliged to pay for a dropped kerb. The kerb can stay in its present raised state, and no one should be reported to the police or council for that.
What they aren't entitled to do is drive across the dropped kerb or harass others for parking on it. Even if it is 'outside their house'. You don't buy the pavement outside when you buy a house. In the same way that Doris Payne wasn't jailed for just 'not paying for the jewels' but for not paying for them and taking them anyway.
You'll be relieved to know that, in future, these poor men can avoid this situation by not harassing and verbally abusing a woman who is legally entitled to park on this bit of road (even if some people consider it dickish), and by parking on the road in front of their house instead of driving somewhere where there is no right of way.

vivainsomnia · 23/11/2022 15:54

It's also legal to park and only give a few centimetres for a car to get out of their parking spot, but it's a nasty and inconsiderate thing to do.

However, if I was the owner, I'd just park my own car there, problem solved. OP can't use it.

zingally · 23/11/2022 16:46

Legally you're not in the wrong, but just... stop parking there? It sounds like you're looking for conflict at this point.

HarvestThyme · 23/11/2022 20:01

vivainsomnia · 23/11/2022 15:54

It's also legal to park and only give a few centimetres for a car to get out of their parking spot, but it's a nasty and inconsiderate thing to do.

However, if I was the owner, I'd just park my own car there, problem solved. OP can't use it.

Difference being: the shouty lawyer is doing something both dickish and illegal.

The OP is entirely in the right. And there is nothing even slightly dickish about parking on the street. Even the police said it was fine.

And if the shouty lawyer had parked on the street in front of the house... that would be fine. Obviously. That's what the legal parking provision on the street is for. Anyone, including the homeowner, can park there.

Nodancingshoes · 23/11/2022 20:06

Hmm..technically you can park there but I certainly wouldn't. It is a driveway and you are blocking it. Our driveway is fully paved and half of it that was not the original driveway does not have a dropped kerb. I also live next to a school. If someone blocked it, I wouldn't be too happy either. (Although I wouldn't scream and shout at you!)

sheepdogdelight · 23/11/2022 21:14

If the man had asked politely and said that access was needed for his wife who had a disability and couldn't walk far, and they couldn't afford to pay for a dropped kerb ... would you still park there? If the answer is "no" then why don't legalities matter in that case?

HarvestThyme · 23/11/2022 21:23

Nodancingshoes · 23/11/2022 20:06

Hmm..technically you can park there but I certainly wouldn't. It is a driveway and you are blocking it. Our driveway is fully paved and half of it that was not the original driveway does not have a dropped kerb. I also live next to a school. If someone blocked it, I wouldn't be too happy either. (Although I wouldn't scream and shout at you!)

It is not a driveway. She is not blocking it. It's street parking. She's legally parked.

If someone parked in front of the section of your drive that does not have a dropped kerb... that's not blocking your drive. The entrance and exit to your drive is the bit with the dropped kerb. The rest is publicly accessible street parking. You don't have a right to the road in front of your house, except for the entrance with the dropped kerb.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/11/2022 21:57

the shouty lawyer

I love it how far you're giving him the huge benefit of the doubt there! Well, half of it anyway - the other half is beyond any question!

If the man had asked politely and said that access was needed for his wife who had a disability and couldn't walk far, and they couldn't afford to pay for a dropped kerb ... would you still park there? If the answer is "no" then why don't legalities matter in that case?

I think that would have made a big difference, actually. Legally, OP (and anybody else) can park there, but nobody is legally compelled to choose to park there.

Just like with parking on the public road: nobody has the right to a standard space over anybody else, but if the neighbours know that dear, kindly old Jim who lives at number 14 really struggles to walk any further than he has to, but doesn't ever want to be 'a bother', they may well customarily leave the space in the road nearest to his house free, unbidden; whereas healthy, able-bodied angry Frank at number 31 who demands that everybody leave the space outside his space for him, because "it's obviously legally my property", "I've lived here 25 years and have always parked there", "I have a better, newer car than anybody else, so I need to be able to see it from my window" and "I'm actually a lawyer and I know my legal rights' is far less likely to get people to consider his 'requirements' than Jim would be. The law completely allows for both.

WineCap · 23/11/2022 23:16

I would do as you have OP. Arseholes act like arseholes because it gets them what they want. You're only parking there if no other parking options are available, and that seems reasonable to me.

MadelineUsher · 24/11/2022 00:11

Up to now I've parked in other spots if they have been available but AIBU to keep parking in front of this "drive" just to make a point because they have pissed me off?

Are you for real? Petty, self-defeating, and pointless.

Ladyvgc · 24/11/2022 07:30

You do sound like an arsehole to be honest. You were intimidated by them shouting at you but are considering still parking there to wind them up more? Are you hoping it’ll escalate so you can play the victim? Get up 10 minutes earlier to avoid being late and bag a better parking spot.

Aprilx · 24/11/2022 07:37

Yes you are being an arse. I would never go out of my way to inconvenience people in this way. If you continue to behave like this you need to expect that one day or another there will be consequences.

Kierkegaardslover · 24/11/2022 07:41

Please report to the council. Clearly doesn't have the right permissions in place - I'm not sure why people think they can just create a driveway and then expect access from a public road whilst taking away a parking space.

RedAppleGirl · 24/11/2022 07:42

It is a means of access for this property, now whether the kerb will be dropped who knows. But I wouldn't deliberately park somewhere to inconvenience another just because the local civil law says x,y, and z needs to happen, therefore I'm entitled.
This is about being sociable and responsible and not deliberately unreasonable.

Hiddenvoice · 24/11/2022 08:03

To point out about a dropped curb, where I live there is currently a delay in the council creating dropped curbs. My neighbours paid for the dropped curb and are still waiting nearly 4 months on for it but they still have a driveway. Personally I wouldn’t park blocking any driveway, dropped curb or not.
I understand you are going to get a mobility badge, would this then allow you to park in the school grounds?
I feel like you are making the situation worse by continually parking there. They have previously reported you to the police, they are obviously fed up with all cars parking there but you are the one exposing your children to it.Yes their actions and shouting is unacceptable but you are choosing to park there and put yourself in this position.

CravingCamembert · 24/11/2022 08:09

It is not a driveway. End of.

I would report their abusive behaviour to police and council.

cookiesbeforepookies · 24/11/2022 08:12

OoooohMatron · 22/11/2022 15:53

Regardless of whether its legal or not, you're acting like a massive dick.

This sums it up.

Sennelier1 · 24/11/2022 08:49

Even with no dropped kerb it obviously is made into a driveway by the new owners, so why would you even want to block that? Seems petty because you now do know they use it for their car. Leave a bit earlier and find another spot?

Sparklingbrook · 24/11/2022 08:56

Sennelier1 · 24/11/2022 08:49

Even with no dropped kerb it obviously is made into a driveway by the new owners, so why would you even want to block that? Seems petty because you now do know they use it for their car. Leave a bit earlier and find another spot?

Apparently they have to park there to make a massive point that it's not a drive it's a 'patio' or something.
Doesn't matter that the DC will have to witness shouting, it's the principle of it all and not letting the home owner win. Priorities. Hmm

DangerousAlchemy · 24/11/2022 08:57

diddl · 22/11/2022 16:14

If you're waiting for the kerb to be dropped then you surely park on the road?

Don't be ridiculous! Who would do that?? 🙄😂😂😂

GrumpyMummy123 · 24/11/2022 09:20

Yanbu

Perhaps not when it was not in use, but it is now so don't.

It's also not illegal to actually park on someone else's drive. But you don't do it.

Our old house had a wierd curb so I guess wasn't technically a dropped curb - but it had a driveway which was our only off street parking and a garage that looked like it was built in the 70s it was like it when we bought the house in early 2000s. All was fine until some new people moved in across the way and would purposefully park in front of our drive, sometimes even blocking the car in, even when the rest of the road had space. But legally nothing we could do. We just had to keep knocking on their door to move their car as we'd seen them do it so knew it was them - they never actually said anything to us and we didn't challenge them (too scared!) And they did always move the car (never spoke just grunted and came out and moved it one space up so not in front of our drive!). But I think eventually having us knock at all hours from 6.30am when DH was going to work to 11.30 when had to go out in emergency they got fed up and stopped doing it! They were just CFs.

So don't be CF. There are many things that aren't illegal but aren't right and make you a bit of dick.

GrumpyMummy123 · 24/11/2022 09:21

I meant YABU!!!

newnamethanks · 24/11/2022 09:32

What a way to start your day. You are probably right but why do this? Very odd.

ittakes2 · 24/11/2022 09:47

Wow the comments on this post shock me - this is the equivalent to being told not to park on the road outside someone’s house because they want to keep it free for themselves. He’s in the wrong - is verbally abusing you and people are saying you are in the wrong. Ring the council - ring 111 and get advice. If everyone decided they didn’t want people to park on the road outside their house we’d all have no where to park!!
Something similar happened to me when my kids started school and I rang the council who confirmed I was parking correctly and recommended I call the police (because the man was abusive).

SpangleSparkle · 24/11/2022 10:04

I would report to the council and he can pay the 3k for his right to have access, however, I wouldn’t park there again as firstly I believe there will be damage at some point and secondly, it reiterates the entitled parent parking that happens around schools. Find somewhere you know is legal, or, if you have mobility issues and are struggling why don’t you speak to the school and see if you can use their carpark, some schools are understanding.