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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep parking in front of this "drive"?

342 replies

Droppingthekerb · 22/11/2022 15:40

Sorry it's a long one. I'll start off by saying that due to mobility issues I do drive my children to school which is about 1.5 miles from our house. I do not however qualify for a blue badge.

There are several residential streets near the school where people park to take kids to the school. I imagine it is annoying for the people who live there but there are no restrictions on the road in terms of yellow lines etc and generally I'd say people are respectful of the residents. There are a couple of cars who park overhanging the yellow zigzags and some on bends but for the most part people park at the side of the road and don't block driveways. Dropped kerbs are marked with white lines so it is clear where it is ok to park.

I tend to park on the street one up from the school as usually it is quieter and there's more chance of getting a space. Until recently there was a house on the street that had fallen into disrepair with an overgrown front garden. Over the last couple of months there have been tradespeople coming and doing up the house and now the front garden has been paved over. About 2 weeks ago I parked in front of this house and a man came running out of the house opposite shouting at me that I couldn't park there as I was blocking a drive. I had my kids with me and told him I did not appreciate being shouted at in front of them especially as there was no dropped kerb so it wasn't a driveway. There wasn't a car parked on it either. He stormed off back into his house.

A few days later I saw the space was available and as it was raining there were a lot of extra cars on the school run so spots were at a premium. I parked there again and returned to a note on my car not to block driveways.

I don't park there every time as there are other spaces available often before I get to that spot but last week I was running late for pick up and noticed the space was free again - I was feeling a bit petty too by this point. However, there was a police officer speaking to drivers about their parking to ensure it was safe as it was near a school. I parked there and the police officer stopped me and said she'd had a complaint about people blocking the drive. I pointed out there was no dropped kerb and she immediately said, "Oh, you're absolutely right. Carry on."

This morning it was again the only available space but today there was a car on the drive and seemingly new residents. I parked up as usual to find the man from the house opposite screaming at me again in front of my kids that I was blocking the drive and now the new resident of the house coming out to join in. I tried to keep my cool but it is quite intimidating having 2 men shouting at you in public especially with young children. I said I needed to get the kids to school but they were misinformed if they thought it was a drive as it didn't have a dropped kerb and actually he was in the wrong for driving his car over the pedestrian footpath. Neither of them were listening though as they just kept shouting over the top of me.

When I came back to my car he had taken a photo of it and then a photo of me and told me he was reporting me to the police. I again tried to explain about the lack of dropped kerb and he flat out told me that was not true, that he had the right to create a driveway whereever he wanted and that actually parking on the street full stop (driveway or no driveway) was against the law and he should know because he is a lawyer. I told him he was speaking rubbish and to look on the council website as it is very clear.

Up to now I've parked in other spots if they have been available but AIBU to keep parking in front of this "drive" just to make a point because they have pissed me off?

OP posts:
Devoutspoken · 23/11/2022 07:22

Move closer to school than you won't need to drive

ScroogeMcDuckling · 23/11/2022 07:37

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/11/2022 22:51

Something that I don't recall anybody asking/noting is exactly how you access a self-created 'drive' with a full-height pavement?

Normally, to mount a pavement, you would approach it gradually from the side; but if you're needing to go head-on to get to your 'drive', that's not an easy task unless you have a monster truck. You'd probably have to rev a great deal (and then brake suddenly once you gain purchase), take a 'run-up' and/or risk bashing the front of your car if it's a low one. Sounds very dangerous to me.

You reverse gently up the incline. No tracking to damage on the back wheels

BeetleManiac · 23/11/2022 08:11

Hard to believe the number of people here who are defending this totally unwarranted aggressive behaviour by the residents. You are parking legally on the public road, they are illegally driving over the pavement.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/11/2022 08:22

You can buy wedges to create a ramp

Yes, I've seen people do that before; but do they keep them in the car/inside the property and put them out when needed or - as I rather suspect - leave (flytip) them there as a hazard for people driving past?

You reverse gently up the incline. No tracking to damage on the back wheels

But which incline? Isn't that the whole point that there is no incline in the first place, as there would be with a dropped kerb?! If it's a normal-height non-dropped pavement, you'd still have to effectively 'scale' the side of it by revving hard and then suddenly banging on your brakes when you're over it.

Tomatopasta · 23/11/2022 08:30

BeetleManiac · 23/11/2022 08:11

Hard to believe the number of people here who are defending this totally unwarranted aggressive behaviour by the residents. You are parking legally on the public road, they are illegally driving over the pavement.

This isn’t an issue with the level of aggression but about the fact the OP (initially!) wanted to continue to park there and antagonise the residents in view of her children, potentially doing this every week/other week, just out of spite. Given how angry they were (perhaps unreasonably so) this could potentially go from bad to worse including her car being damaged or possibly worse!

This isn’t the hill to die on.

BeetleManiac · 23/11/2022 08:43

Tomatopasta · 23/11/2022 08:30

This isn’t an issue with the level of aggression but about the fact the OP (initially!) wanted to continue to park there and antagonise the residents in view of her children, potentially doing this every week/other week, just out of spite. Given how angry they were (perhaps unreasonably so) this could potentially go from bad to worse including her car being damaged or possibly worse!

This isn’t the hill to die on.

The OP isn't antagonising anyone, she's behaving completely legally, reasonably and peacefully. Their aggressive behaviour should be reported to the police.

vivainsomnia · 23/11/2022 08:58

It seems any posters have missed that part
This morning it was again the only available space but today there was a car on the drive and seemingly new residents
Blocking anyone access to the highway IS illegal. What if the resident is a surgeon and missed surgery because of OP's stubbornness? It really isn't ok. No 50/59, it's wrong, end of.

RaRaRaspoutine · 23/11/2022 09:01

Stop blocking the drive.

Whammyyammy · 23/11/2022 09:18

It's not a drive, it's a paved garden.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/11/2022 09:28

OP says it was the house opposite who came out shouting initially, not the homeowner with the newly created drive.
The new resident only came out when op blocked his car in.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/11/2022 09:31

That very kindly somehow posted before I had chance to add my comment.

It seems that the angry man is the owner and the residents his tenants - and he's charged them a premium based on a promised drive. Even if they aren't the aggressive type themselves, they're likely to put it back on to him if they're paying for (or actually chose that place on the strength of) something that they haven't got.

bellabasset · 23/11/2022 09:31

My friend lives in a one way street with no pavement on the opposite side. There are no kerb or pavements that side nor is there room to create a parking space. People are parking sideways on the space. Her dh had an argument with one of the neighbours saying that visitors parking there weren't parking illegally if there was no car there. He's quite correct.

I understand you need planning permission to use your front garden for parking though and it's around £3,000 in some areas where councils allow it. My cousin's house was a semi detached house with a shared drive between the houses and a garage in the garden. So they and their neighbours had a shared dropped kerb when they parked in front of the houses.

Dotjones · 23/11/2022 09:38

YANBU to park there initially but YABU to continue to do so out of spite. You say you don't like having people shouting at you yet deliberately want to provoke a situation where you know this will be the result?

Just because legally you can do something doesn't automatically mean it's reasonable or that you should. Legally I can stand naked in the front garden but most people would think me unreasonable to do so.

CapMarvel · 23/11/2022 09:42

vivainsomnia · 23/11/2022 08:58

It seems any posters have missed that part
This morning it was again the only available space but today there was a car on the drive and seemingly new residents
Blocking anyone access to the highway IS illegal. What if the resident is a surgeon and missed surgery because of OP's stubbornness? It really isn't ok. No 50/59, it's wrong, end of.

If there is no dropped kerb it is NOT illegal to block someone in as there is no legal access to the road for the person parked in their garden.

twelly · 23/11/2022 09:44

If there is a drive with or without a car then I do not think you should park there, regardless of the point about a dropped curve. I think that is the polite approach - also you don't know for sure the drive is illegal. If there was not drive then its fine to park there.

Tomatopasta · 23/11/2022 09:44

BeetleManiac · 23/11/2022 08:43

The OP isn't antagonising anyone, she's behaving completely legally, reasonably and peacefully. Their aggressive behaviour should be reported to the police.

I would consider parking outside a house out of anger and spite in response to their aggressive behaviour antagonising them.

The OP was not intending to behave ‘peacefully’. She was asking whether she should continue to park there JUST to pi** them off. My answer was no.

Yes it’s perfectly legal, that’s been established. However in the real world, why would you start something like this when you have your kids around? Why would you turn the school run into a a problem? If a simple solution is to arrive 5 mins earlier and park elsewhere, then I would choose that option.

I highly doubt the police will do much. However if it escalates to criminal damage/threats or even worse, then what?

HarvestThyme · 23/11/2022 09:51

Take photographs of the parked car and the kerb. Report to the council.

Report the shouting and intimidation to the police. If they do it again, take video and send it to the police.

HarvestThyme · 23/11/2022 09:55

twelly · 23/11/2022 09:44

If there is a drive with or without a car then I do not think you should park there, regardless of the point about a dropped curve. I think that is the polite approach - also you don't know for sure the drive is illegal. If there was not drive then its fine to park there.

This is just totally wrong. A homeowner has created an illegal drive, and they are daily driving illegally over a pedestrian footpath. They are also illegally removing legitimate parking space from the area. If every homeowner did this, there would be almost nowhere to park.

Don't pander to it. Report it. Repeatedly.

twelly · 23/11/2022 09:55

Just because something is legal does not make it the right thing to do

HarvestThyme · 23/11/2022 10:02

twelly · 23/11/2022 09:55

Just because something is legal does not make it the right thing to do

It is absolutely the right thing to do. That is public parking meant for anyone who needs it. OP is using the roads correctly, and bravely facing bullying and intimidation from people who think they own a public street.

The behaviour of the homeowners is disgusting. And illegal. And unethical. And wrong.

The OP does not need a good reason to park there. She does not need to be pure of heart and kind of soul. It's a public feckin street. She and everyone else is welcome to park there.

Chimna · 23/11/2022 10:12

To the posters saying it's illegal to block a cars access to the highway, they are not blocking the access, a footpath is. It is exactly the same as if a wall was there. You are not allowed to cross it in q car if there isn't a dropped kerb. The only way to legally move that car onto the highway would be to lift it over with a crane

CheesenCrackersmm · 23/11/2022 10:18

Report them to the council for driving over a non dropped kerb and send them photos as proof, but also stop parking there because whilst you are correct it is not worth the hassle.

OoooohMatron · 23/11/2022 14:32

Pandaparty · 22/11/2022 22:11

So many fucking handmaidens on this thread who think women should rush to accommodate aggressive, shouting, law-breaking men.

Handmaidens? For not being the sort of cock who repeatedly antagonises someone outside their own house, blocks their car in and wants to dob them into the council/police because they haven't paid £££ for a dropped kerb.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/11/2022 14:46

If there is a drive with or without a car then I do not think you should park there, regardless of the point about a dropped curve. I think that is the polite approach - also you don't know for sure the drive is illegal. If there was not drive then its fine to park there.

Obviously not in OP's case, now angry man has made his position clear; but it's often not clear when a patch of land is used as an ersatz drive. Lots of new-build estates have front lawns without any dividing fences erected, on which householders could presumably park if they really wanted to - how would you know people's intentions if you haven't ever previously seen a car parked on there?

saraclara · 23/11/2022 15:12

wombat1a · 23/11/2022 01:37

For them to access the garden with the car they must be driving across the pavement which is not allowed unless there is a dropped kerb. Therefore report them to the council.

Not necessarily. The house my DD has just bought had a paved front garden which three cars can (just) fit on. There's a dripped kerb where the original drive was, but not for the full length. So when they and I park there we drive over the dropped bit. I'll admit that if I have to park in the far bit I sometimes end up clunking over a normal kerb to get in and out, but I don't think that's exactly criminal.