...to ask what my wife's thought process is, in this situation?

[WalkingOnTheCracks]

Married twenty years. Pretty early on I mentioned that I don't like v-neck jumpers. I mean, it's not a huge deal. It wasn't mentioned in the wedding speeches. It's not something I felt I had to get straight even before we got serious. It's just one of those things that comes up at some point, and it came up within the first year or so, I guess.

But every couple of years, my wife will buy me a v-neck jumper for Christmas. I open it and I don't need to say anything, because she gets in first.

"I know it's a v-neck, but it's such a lovely blue!"

"I know you don't like v-necks, but it's cashmere!"

"...it's just perfect for your eye colour."

"...I thought you could wear it to Sally and Mike's next week."

"...it's from Harrods!"

They always end up being taken back.

But - leaving aside the question of why I don't like v-necks, which I think I'm allowed - what I'm interested to know is what she's thinking when she buys them. Does she think, "Well, this one's just irresistible. Even WoTC will love this." Or does she just think that my aversion to v-necks is a passing phase? Or not worthy of consideration?

She doesn't like sarongs. If I persisted in the attempt to buy her a sarong every other Christmas, there'd be ructions.

Why does she keep at it?

How about WalkingOnTheCracks putting a photo on, showing his neck wearing a crew-neck jumper?

My DH looks great in a dark V neck.
Perhaps you don’t look as good in a crew neck as you think and she’s trying to tell you

It doesn’t matter, he guest like them.

• doesn’t

I want to know what the OP got for Xmas. A jumper?

So, OP, did you get another v-neck yesterday?

Easily solved Just buy your own clothes so she’ll have no need to buy them fir you

What colour are your eyes, and did the v neck match? 👔

It’s a Christmas gift.

If he made sure he had enough jumpers surely she would have to think of something else less boring, unless that would then be socks 😆

Codicil to this thread.....

It's mid-December, two days before my birthday, and it's bloody cold.

Me: I've put my jumper down somewhere. Dammit. I need it to go to Sainsbury's.

Wife: Oh, I've got you one for your birthday. Would you like it now? It's not wrapped though.

Me (warily): ...yes, thank you. That'd be useful.

Wife: Here. Try it on.

Me: This is a v-neck.

Wife: Well, yes, but it's a very shallow V.

Me: But a V nevertheless.

Wife: Lovely colour on you though.

Me: Why do you keep buying me v-necks when you know I don't like them and won't wear them?

Wife: I suppose I think you might change your mind. It's a lovely colour.

Me: Twenty years in, why would I change my mind?

Wife: Well, why wouldn't you? I'm trying to do something nice for you and you're acting like an asshole.

Me: Er....

Wife: You know what? Why don't you just buy your own presents from now on?

Me: Well, hang on - it's only the jumper I don't like. I liked the other things.

Wife: Are you sure? Don't they fail to live up to expectations in some obscure way?

Me: Nope. You can't go wrong with marmalade....

....and so the long winter evenings fairly tumble by....

....to be fair, though, at Christmas I got a plain black one with a round neck, and I'm wearing it even as I type.

I'm trying to do something nice for you and you're acting like an asshole.

Lighthearted or not, that's really quite controlling and gaslighty.

Glad you got the right kind of jumper in the end. Maybe from Sept onwards you can start going on about how much you hate v necks.

Your wife sounds like an idiot but you're almost (but not quite) as unreasonable for not liking them. So idk 🤷🏻☃️

This ^ 😂

Agreed!

Her behaviour seems to get worse and worse. What a nasty strop she had when you told yet again her in simple terms to stop trying to make you wear what you don't like! Do you think she might even have hidden your jumper in order to try to get you into the v-neck?? I would be getting really angry by this point.

...but at last she did buy you a jumper for Christmas which was not a v-neck. Maybe she finally got the message after all. Not without being repeatedly rude and disrespectful though. Hope this is a good sign.@

I’d love my DH to wear a v-neck and showed him some nice ones online at the beginning of our relationship but he also made it clear he doesn’t like them.

I find them attractive, and never thought of school, I’m an immigrant to uk, and we didn’t have this type of uniform.

anyway as much as I’d like him wearing one, instead of the boring round neck ones, I’ve not pushed it or bought him more than one (that never gets worn)

i have managed to convince him to wear some other colours than shades of gray or brown. So now he has one red hoodie, and a few other items with some green or blue. But it’s still mostly grey.

maybe some people are more visual. I would definitely find him more attractive if he would wear more colour (blue or green, it doesn’t have to be red, pink, orange obviously) or v-necks.

maybe your wife is the same.

But you shouldn’t have to wear a v-neck if you have this much psychological baggage with it.

My feeling is that at some level she doesn't get the issue with the v-necks. Maybe it is like people who can't taste certain flavours - she can't really comprehend how a v-neck is all that different from a crew neck.

It's probably driving her to keep buying them, like picking a scab.

I think maybe it is best just to ignore it.

Maybe your wife gets "like" and "don't like" mixed up. It's a risky strategy, but, going forward, you could try saying how much you like v necks?

What colour was your birthday v neck, and where is it now?

why don’t you start buying her a mini skirt each b’day/Christmas (if she don’t wear them already) and tell her that’s how you want her to dress, I’m sure she will get the message.

I don't think this will work the woman is clearly obsessed.

Buy your wife a matching v neck and you can both sit frowning, or comparing throats and collar bones .
Would that help her see the oddness at work??
Although I must confess that due to a particularly horrific Christmas and Arctic temperatures in our house, I am typing this wearing not just any old V neck, but my son's old school v neck XXL which is worryingly snug.🙄
And it doesn't even match my eyes, sigh.........................

...."you can't go wrong with marmalade"?????

As in breakfast preserve, sometimes eaten off a grapefruit spoon?
Or are you actually a tawny cat man with marmalade eyes to match an orange v neck?
I think we need to know 🤓