To be angry at DP for letting DS fall off the bed

[SmallMexicanChihuahua]

DS is 10 months old and recently started crawling. I change him on our bed and I know that I shouldn't but I always watch him very carefully.

This morning DS was playing in the middle of the bed after I'd changed his nappy and DP was next to the bed getting dressed for work. I asked DP to keep an eye on DS while I go downstairs to throw away the nappy and wash my hands. Our house is quite small so this must have taken less than a minute. When I was on top of the stairs I saw DS on the edge of the bed. I shouted, DS fell and DP, who had been on the other side of the bed, ran to pick him up.

DP claimed that he'd only looked down for a second and that it was an accident. I said it must have been more than a second for DS to reach the end of the bed and that it wasn't an accident because DP was being careless. If he couldn't look after DS for 1min he should have said so. DP blamed me for being a perfectionist (which is actually true) and said he never does things good enough for me. Surely keeping your son from falling off the bed for 1 minute isn't too much to ask?

YABU - I shouldn't have left DS on the bed / should accept that it was an accident
YANBU - DP should have been more careful or should have told me if he couldn't look after DS

It happens to all first babies .

Yep, and all second babies more than once.

It was an accident. Your baby will have more trips and falls, they can't always be prevented. I don't think your husband has done anything horrifically wrong. You can't always keep an eye and babies can be so fast!

As much as it’s a fright, these things happen and will happen a lot more during the toddler years. Of course we should try and prevent them but I wouldn’t make him feel worse than I’m sure he already does.

My friend had this happen with her baby, she said she literally turned to pick up a wipe and when she turned back he’d snaked to the bed edge and was over. It happens so fast. Genuine mistake.

It happens to everyone, your husband will feel bad enough without you implying he’s a bad parent. I know it feels horrible when your baby gets hurt but he’ll be fine

Was an accident, pretty common

It happens, and what’s more it will happen to you so I think you owe your DP an apology

Your dh shouldnt have turned his back, but perhaps you should have put him on the floor after nappy change. Don't worry these things happen.

Babies can move faster than you think, it was an accident, it only takes a split second for anything to happen.

Happened to our first and second. No big deal!

YANBU to feel upset
YABU to feel that it is possible to avoid all these type of things.

I would be happy it didn't happen on my watch 😂

We've all done it! It happens so fast. As long as baby is ok, I wouldn't get angry at DH. If it had happened with you, I bet you'd feel awful without DH going on at you as well.

Did DS fall because you shouted?

Happened to both of mine.

Ah it will probably happen on your watch soon enough. Wait til he falls down the stairs!

They all fall off the bed pretty much. It'll happen to you as well. Let it go.

My DS launched himself off the couch from a chilled, calm lying down position when he was that age! These things happen, and it certainly won't be the last time 😆. YANBU to have been angry though it's a massive shock when they fall for the first time

It was an accident and he will have plenty more.

They seem to love falling off beds. Most babies fall sometime, just one of those things.

I remember having these arguments with DH when we had our first child, nothing he ever did was right. He couldn't put a nappy on properly, dress or feed the child properly. Looking back now I was way to hard on him. As we had more children (and you get a little more neglectful :)) I relaxed a bit and it made things much happier in the house.
I do get it, mammies are way more diligent and want things done a certain way but try not to isolate him. I know my DH said he felt very incompetent and it put him off doing things as he knew I would be critical of them afterward.

Obviously this incident is a safety issue which is a bit more serious and he should have been watching him properly but if he feels like you are critical of everything he does, then its easy for him to ignore you when its something you are really serious about.
He is getting into that stage where you need to watch him like a hawk so maybe back off on the lesser things and focus him into being more careful in terms of safety.

Can’t vote tbh, these things happen and I’m sure DS was uninjured

but you knew you shouldn’t be changing him in bed now he’s crawling, so your fault. But yes it’s also your DP fault for not paying attention to his child properly

He’ll be feeling really shit about himself. Babies roll off beds, it happens. My eldest did, twice.

Could happen to anyone, assuming baby fine then move past it, accidents will happen many many times again!

It was an accident and has happened to a lot of babies I know.
Your husband probably already feels shit about it and doesn't need you making him feel worse.
You owe him an apology.