Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

Whenever I take my baby out to eat I make a point of cleaning up the extra detritus before I go. Babies make mess, even mine who eats everything.

I think you’re obnoxious AF for swanning off and leaving it, presumably with the mindset of it’s their job.

It’s not. It’s additional mess and I think you should clean it. All it takes is gathering it up with a wet wipe and putting it in your plate FFS.

If an adult left food all over the floor, mashed into the table etc would you expect them to clean it, or walk out and leave it? No, so why expect that of a parent.

You sound like nightmare customers, dotn get a lot, take alot of space up, make a mess and no doubt loud. I've had 3 dc I always cleaned up after them when out. You shouldn't need to be told disgraceful behaviour of your groups part.

This. I wonder if they would do that to a man with a baby ?

I must admit I had never really thought about this until I was in a garden centre cafe and my child made a mess and the staff were not too pleased. They were probably quite right as although I had bought food from the cafe for myself the mess was made from food I had brought from home.

Would you clean up at a friend’s house? If you would, do the staff the same courtesy. It takes literally a minute and is nicer for everyone.

To the posters thinking the cafe staff were rude, why? It's not "their job"

Actually, it is their job.

‘if they don’t like it then get another job’

Good grief! Do you seriously think that serving staff are your personal servants who should be grateful they’re allowed to clean up after your Highness?

Whenever I see a large group of yummy mummies braying loudly in a cafe with their buggies taking up ridiculous amounts of floor space, I leave and find somewhere else to eat.

I’m probably not the only person who does this and cafés are probably fed up of the increasing loss of revenue caused by some of these annoying groups.

Yep! I'm not saying this is OP but I've been out a couple of times with friends of friends who are almost 30 and cringed as they waltz out of burger king (passing by the bin as well) and left a pile of crap for the staff to clean up. I've ended up just clearing up for them. I work hard to make sure my own kid never grows up so bratty and entitled. It's awful. I had a small argument with my hubby at a cafe the other day. Our 4YO put her greasy hands on a glass window so I told her she needed to clean it up. He said 'don't worry the waiters will do it' No they bloody won't our child will behave like a respectable member of society and clean up her own sodding mess thanks! (DH is very respectable on the whole btw and not one of the tramps mentioned above or I'd be divorcing him 🤣)

I always cleaned up after my DC and felt quite self-conscious when out with other parents who thought it was ok to leave their children's mess on the floor - I tended just to quickly wipe up for everyone but, if I'm honest, it did affect how I viewed those parents slightly.

Your baby is not going to stay a baby forever but will grown into a toddler and then a child. Imo it's a really good lesson to give children from early on that we clean up our own mess and don't leave it for others to clean up for us. I will hand my DC a wipe or some napkins if they spill a drink or make a mess with their food when we are out so they can clean the table up themselves. It's not a great example to set to your children to leave food all over the floor.

I would be really taken a back to be given a dustpan and brush for tiny crumbs, but I always wipe any spills and pick up mess if baby leaves it.

I will say after being on mat leave and going to loads of cafes with mums I was blown away by the mess some people think is acceptable to leave!

It’s absolutely their job to clean up small, normal amounts of mess that gets left behind. That’s pretty typical of most customers.

it’s absolutely not their job to clean up masses of food and waste from all over the floor because somebody couldn’t be bothered to pick up after their own children.

For OP, I don't know how bad the mess was, but it does sound like they were frustrated by previous CF mess-makers and were taking it out on you a bit.

As for the whole thread, 2 pages in and I'm impressed there wasn't any 'should we make hotel beds too?'
Also amused that 'family friendly' can give such a wide range of interpretation.

Thing is we have all seen this happen, bunch of parents, come in, bring their own food, use the facilities, cause a lot of noise, spend miminal and collectively leave it a shit hole,food all over the tables and floor . We have also all met the sort of person who weaponises reviews when they don’t get their own way.

it’s like common decency leaves some people. They think if they buy a coffee or something then they can do what they want, the staff are skivvies and they are safe becsyde there are a group, it’s just shit cringe behaviour.

good on the staff calling it out now.

I always, always pick up after my little girl has eaten and wipe the highchair. If it's so much wiping with a baby wipe wouldn't do it, then I ask for something from the staff. It's mortifying going out with people who don't do this, it's basic manners!

Yes, mess on the floor is beyond what might be considered reasonable mess for the cafe staff to pick up. They collect crockery, napkins etc from the table and wipe the table down. They shouldn't have to go and get brushes, dustpans and mops as a matter of routine.

I don't know about your friend - but I couldn't just get up an walk away leaving a mess under the table which I or my child had made!!

You say it's difficult without the cleaning materials etc but surely a quick wipe with a baby wipe is all that's needed? It's not like anything is dried in as it'll be recently made mess.

Having said that I'm kind of on the fence with this one and can see both sides. I think it depends on the level of mess to be honest.

I don’t take my dd into any cafes anymore as she has severe allergies and there’s never simply a clean table/chair for her to sit at. I probably didn’t notice it as much before having dd but now I’m hyper aware of crumbs and food all over the place.

To be fair an adult leaving a few crumbs or spilling a bit of a drink is not at all the same as a whole load of half chewed food that a baby/toddler has chucked all over the floor.

If an adult made even half the amount of mess that a baby does I would be seriously concerned with their ability to look after themselves.

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!)

Thats probably the idea in the coffee shop assistance mind

I always pick up the bits of food my baby drops on the floor and give the high chair and sometimes even the table a wipe.

Have you never been with adults where someone drops a chip on the floor or some cutlery? I have. They pick it up.

Oh for goodness sake, it’s nothing to do with the fact it was a woman with a baby.

I used to work for an airline where honestly, you wouldn’t believe the mess people would leave behind. It was frankly appalling. We would expect to pick up rubbish and crumbs, but the state some people would leave it was nothing short of disgusting. Dirty nappies shoved in seat pockets. Packets of crisps stomped into the ground. Melted chocolate all over the seats. It was appalling and I can’t understand how people could leave something like that and not feel ashamed

if I saw somebody making a mess that was like this I would give them a dustpan and brush. It didn’t matter if it was a mum or dad or a man or woman or whatever. It was nothing to do with gender. It was everything to do with the fact they made a mess or let their children make a mess!

I don’t know in this situation if the cafe was being OTT and maybe the OP hadn’t made much of a mess really, but let’s not make this a sexist thing when it’s nothing to do with that

To be honest though I work in a shop
And I actually just think some people don't realise how rude their behaviour is. I once had a mother and teenage daughter in our fitting rooms. The daughter came out with clothes that didn't suit and said " I'll put these back out for you" the mother almost had flames in her eyes and ripped the clothes out of her hand and said "indeed you will not, that is what she gets paid for" I was so shocked.

Pre baby I was always shocked how much mess some people with children left, generally staff are clearing tables regularly, they’re not sweeping the floor multiple times a day when it’s filled with customers (I’ve never seen anyone sweeping that I’m aware of anyway!). I always clean up any food or mess that my baby has dropped and I’ve asked to borrow a dustpan and brush before when he’d squished an oat bar, I don’t want to be that person leaving a mess.

So I say YABU, it’s your responsibility to clean up excess mess.