Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

I pick up what I can. And give high chair a wipe. Now if he was really kicking off my priorities might be about getting him out of cafe ASAP.
I think this cafe doesn’t want your business anymore. Some of the babies might be making a huge mess.

Take the hint and take your business elsewhere.

I would clean up, I'd never leave a mess in a cafe for anyone else to clean. I'd only leave my dishes if there isn't a rack to add them to myself. No harm in picking the mess up and putting it on the plates or in a bin.....

I don’t really know what to say about this really. No-one here was at the cafe to see how much food was dropped firstly. Saying that though, what if it had been a drink? Would they have got out a mop or a carpet cleaner? Where does it stop? Cleaning would be in their job description and if they don’t like it then get another job. Pick up the biggest bits, yes, but anything that needs a dustpan and brush was probably quite fine and you might not have been able to see it as well. Especially if there wasn’t loads. That part was their job and I wouldn’t be returning.

Counter/serving staff, aren't cleaners. Clearing tables and a quick wipe down when they have time between customers, is part of the job of serving/counter staff. Full scale floor cleaning is completely different.

And cafes ask these people to move on if they are busy. If they are not they let it go.
The difference is I have never seen an adult take to social media and complain about being moved on for this. I have seen mums call a cafe on social media anti-children if staff say anything to them about their behaviour.

I’m not sure what the norm is here… I always pick up big bits of food my toddler has dropped, but whenever I’ve asked for a dustpan and brush for smaller bits I’ve always been told not to worry about it.

Sometimes it’s hard to know what is expected as a parent!

I have spilled a drink. I went to the staff and asked for cloths to clean it up. It is not the job of staff to clean up out of the ordinary mess.

I work in hospitality and I would never do this to a customer..........

BUT

I am cheering for the person who did.

This isn't a one off and you know it, it sounds like your group always leave a pigsty behind.

We used to have one customer come in every week and sit in one of the booths (relevant as they are harder to clean), they'd order a coffee for themselves and a muffin for their kid. Every Bloody Week! The mess that child made was ridiculous, 10 minutes at least to clean up the mess from a $7.00 order!

If your kid makes a mess.... clean it up!

Family friendly means, there's a change room out back, we like your kids, we'll tolerate their noise, we understand that they'll chuck tanties sometimes and occasionally before you can get them they may run around getting under waitress' feet, it does not mean we want to spend 10/20 minutes extra cleaning up your mess after you leave, especially if you didn't even buy the food from the business you are at!!

@Waitingfordecember You are obviously leaving it in an acceptable state.
I know from experience that some mums who say they leave only a few crumbs are lying.
No one expects you to make it 100% clean. But some parents do walk away and leave it looking as if a bomb has hit.

Yes, indeed, it's about time we, in Britain, started to value, appreciate and respect retail and other service/hospitality staff, especially given the staff shortages we're currently facing. There's far too much snobbery and looking down upon such staff. It's not like that in so many other countries where they're treated with respect.

Out of interest….. why is it beneath you to clean up the mess your kid made? I always asked for dustpan and brush if my dd made a mess.

It’s really awful the state some large mother’s groups leave cafes in. We always used to wipe down the high chairs and clean up the floor with wipes too.

To the posters thinking the cafe staff were rude, why? It's not "their job" especially whilst the place is open to customers. Do you think it'd have been absolutely fine for OP and her mums group friends to flounce off leaving the mess their kids made behind?

My kids are teens but when they were younger I was never asked to clean the floor by staff. I would always clean up the high chair and leave the table tidy. If the floor was particularly bad, I would apologise and offer to clean it/ask for dustpan and brush, but was always told not to worry. They often did a quick sweep if the floor in between people as part of the cleaning in the cafes we used to use, not just for kids but everyone.
We’ve moved house and there’s a little tea room not far from where we live now. Lots of mums use it to meet up. My friends daughter worked there as a Saturday job and part of her job was sweeping the floors in between customers, they’d never ask customers to do it.

Your mum is a bit of a cow for suggesting you leave them a bad review, does she realise how much negative comments affect these small businesses!! Asking people to tidy up their mess, how dare they 🫠

Absolutely this. Although as your mother suggested you complain about the cafe, it may be clear where the entitlement comes from.

I was sitting close to a group of mums who all had babies in tow. They all seemed quite well to do, respectable mums. Anyway, I was astounded when they got up and left the table they were sitting at in a complete mess. I mean it was bad. Soggy biscuits rubbed all over table, snotty tissues dumped on High chairs, contents of unwanted rubbish from handbag scattered all over table, toast all over floor. The woman came over to clear the table and I felt so sorry for her, she just said to me "never work in a cafe dear, people treat you with no respect" it literally to her about 20 mins to clear up. I probably should have helped looking back on it.

Wow, I bet they'll be gutted to lose the profit they made on three lattes and a muffin while listening to your screaming baby, tripping over all your prams, taking your pooey nappies out of the toilet and picking up the crap you left all over the floor.

What unbelievable cheek.

If a restaurant advertises as family friendly and provides highchairs, they are inviting children infants and babies who make noise and mess. They have PICKED A TARGETED CLIENTELE , and should have costed the overheads accordingly; opening hours, staff shifts, cleaning and servicing the tables, chairs, floors, changing and breastfeeding facilities. The charges for food, cover those expenses. Choose and price the menu accordingly.

If they had targeted a different clientele, MINE, they would not dare suggest I wash the tablecloth, "careful with the red wine, madam" , not dirty the napkins etc. I pay for those provisions and cleaning services, and their staff training and wages, in the cost of my meal. They polish the wineglasses and change the flowers and fold the napkins; not me.

I reckon these are the same people who think it’s ok to leave spilt food and rubbish in a cinema. My daughter went with some friends recently and when they came out I asked where all their packaging was. One, who unsurprisingly has a very entitled mother, said “we left it for the staff to clean up”. I marched them all back in there to get their rubbish, and showed them the state of the floor now the lights were on. It was disgraceful.

If you ask me, teenagers should have to do shifts in a busy cafe or restaurant as part of the curriculum! I feel really strongly about this.

You have the right to go elsewhere, the cafe have the right to refuse service. If you don't like their attitude take your business elsewhere. FWIW though I'd always clean up the worst of my baby's mess when they were this age. I guess it depends on how clean they actually expect you to make it and whether you think it's worth the effort if you are just ending up doing most of what you'd have to do at home anyway. It's about free choice ultimately. Nobody can make you go there but nobody can make the cafe serve you either

Cant you clear up after yourself?

but to be fair some of us do bring our own baby friendly foods. That is a good point, I suppose if it isn't cafe mess

That is really not on. No wonder they are a bit huffy and are passing you the dustpan to clear up the mess your group has left.

I always cleaned up after my kids when they were small and dropping food everywhere.

Its just good manners.