Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

I always modelled cleaning up after ourselves in a cafe from the start and now my two children aged 3 and 6 automatically clean up.

I can see your point but it’s just polite to check around before you leave

I agree.

As an adult if you spill a drink over the table and floor do you just leave it? Or do you get some napkins to wipe it up?

There's a child friendly cafe near me by a park that is always full mainly with mums and loads of kids. Nine times out of ten the mum has a cafe bought cup of tea and the kids have full on packed lunches from home and leave a huge mess. Drives me mad now as actual paying customers can't sit to eat the food they bought because it's full of people eating food from home. I get why paying for your kids to eat out is expensive but then have a picnic outside. Just feels cheeky to me and definitely means the cafe is losing money .

It's always the same mums who leave a huge mess behind too.

I'd be put off going back. If I eat in a cafe a cafe the kids I put rubbish in the bin and clear up any excessive mess but handing out brushes is a step too far. I've worked in a cafe and brushing the floor is a standard part of the job.

It sounds like there may have been some customers with babies who have repeatedly left the place in a total mess.

I used to work in a cafe and was employed solely as a table clearer to begin with. It was so, so disheartening to walk up to a table that was totally disgusting. Some people really don't give a shit.

I would pick up any large bits that were on the floor anyway, but not every speck of crumb. TBH based on my DH's side of the dining table at home, he probably leaves small amounts of crumbs in cafes.

After having worked in a cafe, whenever I go in one myself I always tidy up my tray, piling everything back on in the same way I used to like it when I did it. Stacked crockery, cutlery not balancing precariously on the edge so it falls on the floor when you pick it up, rubbish to go in the bin separated and contained, so again it doesn't fly off as you walk back to the clean up station.

Overall I think the cafe owner/manager is being a bit unreasonable in their attitude, but is perhaps at the end of their tether about the state some customers leave the tables in.

I'd never hand a customer a dustpan and brush to clean up their mess because if they'd left that kind of mess behind regularly I'd realise that they don't give a toss anyway and are the type of person who would likely take massive offence at the idea that they should clean up after their own child when there's food everywhere, that they've brought in not bought, and expect the staff to clean up after them no matter how big the mess because that's the only reason these people exist, and then they'd be likely to make a scene, have a theatrical go at me or leave an over exaggerated, emotional review about how this ruined their day/week/life and I just can't be bothered with the confrontation and drama.

There might well be a reserved sign on the table next week at the time you're expected though, and any others that are free, and they wouldn't be for your group. Especially if we were losing custom or getting shit from other customers for the mess you're leaving behind.

Dirty tables have some strange allure for people who will actively choose to sit there, especially when there's other clear tables around, then start complaining about the mess, and making comments like "If they leave tables like this what does the kitchen look like?!" - a lot better than the table you've plonked yourself at in the 3 seconds it's taken me to run the plates to the kitchen and come back with a cloth/dustpan, and start moaning, because it hasn't had a group of people and children lobbing food everywhere sat there less than a minute ago!

I get people want to get in and settled, but at least have the common sense to allow someone enough time to clean the table from the person before you start moaning.

Disclaimer - I've had a rough week at work!

If friends came to my house and made a mess of the place I'd be pretty peeved too if I had to clear up after their messy kids, yes it's my house but it's basic manners and respect!

Also while it's "their job" to clear up, sometimes it's nice when the lower paid working people get a bit of an easier shift too. They have more work to do that get in their hands and knees to wash the floor after your little Florence decided she needed a snack

Sometimes it’s hard to know what is expected as a parent!

As a human, surely you know of the expectation not to leave shit all over the floor?

Cafes price food to take account of cleaning up. They do not price drinks to take account of cleaning up the mess from food brought from home.

Yes its exactly the same as for a non parent!

I'm part of a group like this, our kids leave an ungodly mess. We always clear up. Pick up food from the floor, run a wipe down high chairs, clean spills, ask for more kitchen roll if not enough, stack the plates. Even after all of that the waiters have to clear away more plates and sweep more mess away than from groups of adults or older families, but we've done our best. Just walking away is pretty bad in my opinion.

She's probably had enough because you have a screaming and over tired baby in her cafe too!

I used to work in a bar restaurant and a group of women came in with their babies each week, rearranged all the furniture and then left it an absolute mess. I wouldn't have minded putting the furniture back but when I was clearing up baby food they had not even purchased in the premises I thought they were taking the piss. The attitude of one saying "well its their job to clear up" was the final straw. If people offer i would always say don't worry about it as straight away your holding your hands up saying hey I left a mess but I don't expect others to pick it up so I was happy to be kind back. Its the walking out and leaving it with the attitude of its someone's job to clear up my mess that's the issue.

As someone that worked in cafes when I was younger, I find it odd. Listed in your duties is to clean up after customers.

Adults are also messy!

Hats off to that woman for giving you the brush!

I've got a 2yo and it takes a couple of minutes to clean up a table, the fact that there's a whole group of you mucky mares week after week must have tipped her over the edge.

I always used to clean up after my 2 when they were little. Even if it meant using baby wipes to scrape stuff off the floor. I’d always tidy the table as best as possible and wipe high chairs.

When my DC were little, I'd clean up after them in cafes or restaurants (I always had wipes or tissues with me, or would ask for a dustpan/brush if they got find on the floor). I thought that was the normal thing to do. As they got older, I taught them to clear/wipe down the dining table at home once we've finished our meal, and they do that automatically in cafes/restaurants after we've finished a meal there (wipe table with a paper napkin, make sure no mess left, stack plates etc). I wouldn't want to leave the place in a mess for someone else to have to clear up.

The usual social etiquette (I thought) was - you offer to clean it up/ ask for a dustpan and brush, they say “oh no don’t worry, we’ll do it”.

Strange and British as that sounds.

Maybe they were annoyed with people not even offering / acknowledging that mess had been made, and not making any effort to minimise mess.

It sounds like you make more mess than you think you do.

Why on earth wouldn't you clean it up? Staff are not there to be your personal servants.

As a potential customer I wouldn't want to sit at a table with food on the floor around it and the hospitality industry is very short of workers at the moment so you are heaping more work on them.

Beyond couple of crumbs, the floor shouldn't be left dirty. I think it's time to find another venue

But to be clear, I’d always ask, and if offered a brush Id take it.

I've always loved going out with DS but when he was new to eating food much of it ended up on the floor. Picking up after him took 2 mins.

My position has always been to restore the space into the same condition as if 4 adults had sat there, so I clean off the high chair, pick food up off the floor etc. Often staff will say not to do it as they'll do it instead, but not all, and I think it's appreciated that you're recognising that babies make additional mess. Often they only have one or two highchairs too, so leaving one in a mess delays someone else using it.

@MavisChunch29 of course they will, you misunderstand my point. If you’ve brought your own food for littles into a cafe, that should be even more of a reason to clean up after yourself and not expect the staff to.