Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

You realise babies don’t just go straight from milk to an adult meal right?

I mean why even make an exception for formula in that case.

Why not? Would it eat the baby?

It isn't normal unless it is in a state.
In the same way I don't ask for a mop normally, but I did when my kids was sick and napkins would not cut it.

YABU.
Clean up after yourself and your child; don't leave it like a pigsty.

Mother and baby groups are the worst.
They buy f* all, run staff ragged, take up loads of room and never, ever tip.
Then they leave all their shit behind them.
Seen it many times.

Learn to clean up after yourself please.

😆 true.

The vast majority of cafes where I am (South East London) have some sort of kid friendly option. Otherwise I, or other people I know who are mums wouldn't go there.

There's a family friendly museum with a lovely cafe which serves kids meals/ice creams, juices etc.

There's at least one family friend chain of cafes that does the same sort of kid friendly food/menu.

I'm a bit that outside South East London (I'm on Kent borders and they have similar there too) - that there are just cafes with bog standard offerings and nothing at all that young kids (toddlers and babies) can eat. Most cafes I know which aren't kid friendly will rustle up something like Eggy Bread etc if you ask nicely - I know because I've asked! For my DNephew/Nieces etc.

And this can be anything for above from crackers, hummus with dips, fruit, toast etc. You don't have to bring anything for your toddler or baby at all.

Thing is, me as an adult - I'd think it beyond cheeky if I brought my own packed lunch into a cafe and ate it there, so I wouldn't do it, ever!

I never go in cafes where people are feeding children in high chairs…..can’t stand the mess or the noise!

I’m in the north west and when Ds was a baby 13 years ago I had no issue finding places which served suitable foods.

he is mainly tube fed now but when asked most places will change meals to suit his needs if they can.

OP I’d find that a bit weird tbh - as someone who waitresses during college I can attest to being frustrated with mess left by children but we would never have asked the parent to clean up - most offered but even so we cleaned up- it’s a cafe!!

Then feed them before going to the cafe. Don't drag food from outside into a place that prepares and sells food as a business.

(Is that even legal, under health and food hygiene regulations for restaurants?)

I’m sure they value you as customers but I thought it was common courtesy to leave your table tidy when leaving a cafe. I always place the cutlery and crockery onto the tray and leave the table tidy so that all the staff need do is pick the tray up and wipe the table. I was taught this as a child.

As for your mother advising you to leave a negative review; please don’t do this. It’s unfair, silly and petty and could affect the cafes reputation. I think that for the staff to hand you a dustpan and brush really suggests that your group leave a lot of mess so yes, YABVU here. Tidy up after yourselves like adults.

Of course it’s legal to bring a bloody baby pouch and some puffs to a coffee shop.
No normal business or reasonable business owner has an issue with this. I guarantee that. You have some truly bizarre and quite archaic views on babies and mothers so I’m not counting your opinion as being in the realm of normality.

It’s funny how you are so opinionated over babies who might end up crying in public but you also aren’t allowed to feed them age appropriate food.

Is this for real? What kind of cafe asks customers to clean up afterwards? Isn’t the reason one goes to a cafe is so you don’t have to do this kind of stuff?

No, speak for yourself but I’ve never went to a cafe, bar, restaurant etc so I can drop shite and make a mess and not habe to clean up after myself. Normal dirty dishes, a few crumbs Stains on table sure. But no I certainly don’t let my kids drop food all over the floor and walk away and leave it.

and as you can see neither do most of the people on this thread. Disgusting behaviour.

next we will see this is the reason folks don’t clean after themselves in public loos. As they used them so they didn’t need to wipe up their own piss and shit.

Well I guess in my home country they’d be tipped and the cafe properly staffed. But this is such a odd thing tbh, perhaps due more to poor staffing?

No it’s just down to poor manners that people don’t make an effort to not leave crap everywhere.

the waiting staff should only need to collect plates and wipe over the table not be cleaning the floor.

Not as rude as leaving food all over the floor

the waiting staff should only need to collect plates and wipe over the table not be cleaning the floor

this is actually part of the job though? Someone has to clean the floors unless you outsource cleaning after closing?

Cleaning after closing is one thing, but between customers the floor shouldn’t need cleaning

In defense of the criticism of people bringing kids their own food I used to do this. It was less to do with money and more to do with the absolute waste and unhealthiness that seems to come with toddler cafe meals. Often the only option is some sort of sandwhich deal which involves sandwhiches wrapped 3 times over, fruit wrapped in plastic (usually a really sugary type eg raisins), a yoghurt crammed with sugar (and in disposable plastic), a biscuit/chocolate bar wrapped in plastic and a pack of crisps full of white carbs. All washed down with a sugary drink in a disposable carton. It drives me potty!

It doesn't matter if it 'drives you potty', bringing your own food is still the height of rudeness, especially when the cafe literally does options for you.

If you don't like the offerings, go elsewhere. I as an adult wouldn't go somewhere with my friends for lunch, them all order, but I decide I don't like what they have on offer so bring in outside food. The same applies to your kid. The cafe has plenty of things they can eat, just because you'd prefer something else doesn't entitle you to bring outside food into the establishment.

Yabu

You could have picked the bits up once your child dropped them on the floor. I used to work in a casual dining restaurant and many of the servers detested serving families with children because of the mess they left behind and saw the parents doing nothing to stop them.

I leave the place I dine as tidy as it was when I arrived regardless if I have the children in tow or not. They drop something and I pick it right up. They now pick things up when told if they drop food on the floor or when they notice they have. Still working on them doing such things in their room but they’re getting better.

Why on earth do restaurants and coffee shops allow these groups. They invariably sit over a coffee for hours, bring their own food, create a mess, and piss the other customers off!
I don’t get it! 😐

Totally agree!
Don't really see why you all need to go to a cafe at all? In my day, we just met at the park or at someone's house.

Some parents leave a disgusting mess

@Cheeseandcrackers86
"Yes I forgot this is the UK... the country where we put unbelievable pressure on parents and kids for kids to.... well...... just stop being bloody kids.... and quitely ostracise them for doing so then wonder why there's an epidemic of kids and young adults riddled with crippling mental health problems. It's all good though as long as the damned kids stay in their home and make no noise or mess until they're 18."
What nonsense! More like entitled parents who bring up entitled bratty kids!