To think I'm too old and knackered for this lark

[LovelyBitOfSquirrel69]

Early 50's...professional job... menopausal...insomniac. Am up at 5.30am to get to London for a meeting. This is a regular occurrence and I'm feeling too old for it. Will end up staggering through the day like a zombie, barely functioning, only to get home 13 hours later and go straight to bed. Wish I could pack it all in for a low pressure job but I can't afford the pay cut.

You would be surprised how much you can cut back if you really don't want that career anymore.

Could you go part time in same job?

I had a complete change too, and now have a more relaxed lifestyle, less income, but better quality of life.

YANBU to be tired but in your early 50’s, given how long most live now, you’re probably only 2/3 of the way through life.

X

Am considering part time but could only really cut one day out.

Forgot to add, will be spending the day with people 15-20 years younger than me. Don't feel relevant any more.

I hear you. Mid 40s and also unable to sleep. Fine being up at 4am yesterday and survived the day. Not so fine again this morning. I'm exhausted and emotional with no end in sight, I can't even sleep at the weekend so treating myself with ill advised cake.

Can you stay in London the night before? Could work pay for the hotel?

Join the club, I'm 50, love my job but daily wonder how long I can keep doing it for. I do have a plan of sorts that if I can keep going for 8 years then my mortgage will be paid off and I'll have my 35 years of pension contributions paid so I'll take the pressure off then by going part time or looking for a lower stress job. 8 years sounds manageable and keeps me going?
Do you have a plan op?

Mid 40s, up at 5 most days too. Killer. In bed before 8 most nights 'reading'.

Do you take vitamin D? I had a deficiency a couple of years ago and my husband reminded me that this is how I was then. I'd forgotten. It creeps up on you so it feels normal somehow. So I'm back on the high strength stuff hoping it'll make me feel more human and awake after 9pm.

I haven't had sun in my skin for a couple of months now, have you?

Vitamin D is a good shout, thanks. Had a holiday last month but feels a long time ago.

I have a plan....part time, pay mortgage off in 5 years, maybe slow down a bit more after that then retire at 60 hopefully. Feels like I'm just trying to get through life til retirement and I shouldn't be wasting my 50's like that should I?

None of you are unreadable- I'm in same boat. Also planning to cut down in my 50s a bit.
I'm mid 40s now and am asleep very early (10 latest!) up daily at 5:45 for exercise before work and school ( it's important to me).

Big difference though is that I do, by and large sleep at night.

HRT made a big difference there - stoped the racing anxious thoughts, the million night wees and aches that used to plague me. Hope this helps someone else X

I hear you op ❤️
Same for me without the commute, up at 5:30, full time, hard slog, I'm 57.
Younger people in my industry snapping at my heels actively piggybacking off my decades of knowledge then making me feel irrelevant when I've worked in my industry longer than some of them have been born.
Im going to try to condense my hours and drop a day, could you ask your employer if you could do that?
I feel your pain, I won't last another 10 years, can't afford to retire yet.

Same here OP. I've worked full time up until now. I'm 59 years old and seriously considering packing in next year when the mortgage is paid off.

I like my one-day-a-week commute but I go after school run so my days are 'only' 12 hours door to door.

Ah yes, the younger people. They call all fuck off.

Have considered condensed hours but the simple fact of it is that I don't want to do 4 long days. Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

I hear you. 52 and work 6 days a week, early starts every day. I'm bloody wrecked most of the time. Have dependant children and another decade of mortgage though..

Oh god - I could have written this. 54 and in the middle of a particularly busy time at work (self employed) haven't had a day off in nearly 3 weeks now and working minimum 10 hours a day, more like 12/13 most days. Have to make hay while the sun shines...

I'm like a Zombie. HRT has helped massively with the sleep and anxiety issues but I think I'm just getting older and less able to cope with the long days. 15 years ago I could do these hours with very little problems, even with kids to factor in.

I dream of being able to cut down to 4 days a week but just can't afford to yet. I was divorced 12 years ago and opted to take a larger share of the house sale proceeds in exchange for no pension sharing order. Upside is it meant I could buy a small place outright but downside is I only had a minimal pension so have spent the last 12 years paying a third of my earnings each month into a private pension to play catch up.

Long term plan is to be able to carry on until 60 as I am (if if doesn't kill me first) and then try to cut back to 4 days a week until I'm 65 and then just a couple of days a week until I'm 67 and cross everything there's still some state pension to top up my private one.

Good shout about the vitamin D - I also end up anaemic easily too - so will dig out the multi-vitamins now. Solidarity to all us knackered 50 somethings!

Do you take HRT OP?

I'm 52 and have a similarly busy job. I do have lots of energy, but had to make some changes to get here:

• no alcohol - it really wrecks my sleep and makes me feel a bit shit the next day
• No caffeine - I only have one cup of coffee with caffeine in now (when I get up
• No sugary stuff/high glycaemic index carbs
• Vit d, b12, iron, magnesium, b complex
• lots of yoga, mindfulness and thinking about my own wellbeing and self care a lot

I have found my sleep has improved immeasurably. I am still often in bed by 10.30 but feel much better.

I don't think you (one) should be spending your 50s waiting for retirement actually - I'm loving mine - so I would think about what you need to change in order to get more energy and enjoyment out of life .

I do the same. My only consolation is how quiet the tube is at 530am. If I see another tired, bedraggled woman staring back at me that isn't my reflection, I shall wearily wave at you.

Hi all, you have my sympathies - I had an earlyish menopause at 45, but symptoms were mostly fine except for raging insomnia. I was getting up at 5.30 too for work and parenting a youngish child, and honestly it was the perfect storm.

Now 52, post meno, and sleep is better. Not perfect and it requires constant maintenance, as it were, but better.

Happy to share the things that have worked if it will help anyone

Have a serious look at finances. I got fixated on paying off my mortgage, to the detriment of my health. I took a good look at what I was spending overall and made a bunch of changes, plus increased the term of my mortgage, then took a lower stress job, working from home, because it is a lot less stress, and I'm living better financially, and wfh I'm in a position I could condense my working week into 4 days.

@itsnotdeep I don't think you (one) should be spending your 50s waiting for retirement actually - I'm loving mine - so I would think about what you need to change in order to get more energy and enjoyment out of life.

I totally agree with this. love my job and have no intention of (ever) quitting.I don't want to slip into the "waiting to die" mentality of people who are desperate to give up their jobs and marking time.

I also have a mortgage and private school fees to pay so that ain't happening any time soon.

But I do understand the exhaustion and relentlessness of it.

Giving up alcohol has gone a very long way for me. I find even a tiny amount of alcohol destroys my ability to sleep and plays havoc with my focus and productivity so I have basically stopped other than when its socially unacceptable not to have small drink. It has made a huge difference to my energy levels and sense of wellbeing.

@itsnotdeep I do take HRT and it has helped a lot but I still don't feel like my energetic pre-menopausal self. I exercise 5 times a week to help with energy levels but sometimes it's a slog to get to the gym. Have ordered some vit D, will see if that helps.

Starbucks have just given me a fork to eat my porridge with. Fuckers.

Could have written your post 15 years ago OP, substituting 4.30am as I lived 45mins away from the station with a long commute. High pressure professional job with a salary I felt I couldn’t leave.

10 years on, two heart attacks, forced the decision and did enough damage to destroy my retirement plans.

Suddenly I found out how little I could actually live on. Needs must !!

If I had my 50’s again I wouldn’t drag myself onto that train each morning. I would settle for less financially then and a simpler life focused on health first.

53, up at 430 and absolutely dreading another day. I just assume everyone feels the same. I only went full-time again in February and really not sure how long I can do it for! Surrounded by people 25-30 years younger who are full of energy in a lovely way but also need SO much emotional and professional support. Very tired of projecting unflappable approachable calm all bloody day long when I just want to collapse.

Also agree with the no alcohol etc, also if you can, exercise.
I am marathon training on top ( you don't need ti be that extreme though) but I lift weights 3 x a week ( just dumbbells at home) and do short runs (30 mins a couple of times a week) when not training.

It does help - but that comes from a foundation of sleep. If not taking HRT already I would give it a go purely from the sleep angle ( though it is improved a lot more for me too).

Put it this way - I'm still tired - but that's because life is busy and I'm getting older. Without HRT though we'd be selling out home so I could step down as I wouldn't be able to sustain work feeling how I did before. With HRT I can, and with other lifestyle changes on top I can manage to stay fit and healthy ish - which in turn helps my stamina

like @Thepeopleversuswork alcohol is key. Sadly, even if I manage to sleep if I drink (which is rare), and I don't have a hangover (again rare), it still reduces my energy and affects my mood the next day. I'm close to giving up altogether actually which is a pity because I do like a nice glass of wine.

Having said that, last night I had champagne and slept brilliantly and feel fab today! So who knows?! Maybe I just need to drink champagne for ever more.

Cut down by the one day. It will make a difference