To think I'm too old and knackered for this lark

[LovelyBitOfSquirrel69]

Early 50's...professional job... menopausal...insomniac. Am up at 5.30am to get to London for a meeting. This is a regular occurrence and I'm feeling too old for it. Will end up staggering through the day like a zombie, barely functioning, only to get home 13 hours later and go straight to bed. Wish I could pack it all in for a low pressure job but I can't afford the pay cut.

Based on my experience the ones who moan the most about cash problems tend to be those with more coming in than me - but they are in the rat trap of wanting / expecting better this and that

Since that's also a large proportion of the population I think it's not right that you ask them not to talk about and improve their situation simply because sone people are in dire straits and can't do anything about it

I am in my 50s and had a similar experience.

I know that I can only realistically work part-time due to a combination of health issues.

I do like my job though and I work mostly remotely which really help. I could never go back to full time work.

I am also downsizing to a cheaper location to reduce my outgoings.

HRT helped a lot with getting a better night sleep so I have much more energy these days.

I completely understand as well what you mean about working with younger colleagues. I am in a senior role and thankfully they are other middle aged people working as well in the company but very often I feel a bit out of touch and I wonder what it would be like in a few years.

I would really recommend trying to go part-time and making long term plans to adapt your lifestyle to working shorter hours.

Why are they holding meetings so early?

I'm the same. Used to have no issue getting up at 4 and driving to the other side of the country for a 9am meeting, put in a full day and get home at midnight.

I have a 5.30 train to catch next week (leave for station at 5) for a full day of meetings and then a dinner, hotel overnight and meetings following day. I know I'll be zombied out at the weekend. I always thought of myself as a high energy person but at 60, that energy is receding. Been a painful realisation.

They're not. I have a 3.5 hour trip from where I live. Up at 5.30, out at 6.30, on the train at 7.

YANBU OP. I’m 56 and frankly can’t be arsed anymore. Work life balance is so important.

Agreed and it's also not a moan on my side, I know how lucky I am to have a fulfilling and well-paid job, its just really simplistic and unhelpful to assume that people who work only do so to buy more "stuff".

There's also a big helping of internalised misogyny at work here I feel. You see this mindset a lot on the (endless) discussions about whether mothers should work. Someone will inevitably arrive on the thread at some point to lecture working mums about why they need more "stuff" and to advise them to live a quieter, less consumerist life with their children. It betrays a complete lack of understanding of the reasons why a lot of people to work and also implies that women who do work are getting ahead of themselves.

What do you do? Can you apply for a remote job or change to a company that is more local? I used to do the London commute but now have a job that is mostly remote.

I hear you too. My sympathies. I'm 56 and I only manage because luckily I only have to commute one day a week (two hours each way which sounds easier than yours) - otherwise I work from home or in a more local office. I don't think I could manage without that and HRT. I'm planning to stop in 5 years but that seems a long way away.

I am mostly remote, so I know I shouldn't really complain. But I just find that one very long day a fortnight wipes me out for days.

I'll probably get a pile-on now for complaining but honestly, I don't feel like I can play in the corporate world any longer. I spend most days sitting in meeting thinking about how little I give a shit about any of it.

You are still not being unreasonable OP.
Life plus job plus age plus knowing it is mostly corporate bullshit is a real thing!

I still love my work. I get such a buzz out of doing it and I genuinely enjoy being in the company of people I work with. I just don't have the same energy I used to have.

Reading. Taking notes. I have put on loads of weight which I need to address. Drinking too much too. Commuting 3 days which helps. Used to work 3 days, then 4. Now working 5.5 days because took on a longer job, not ideal. Can't carry that on forever.
I've given so much of myself to my 2 jobs that I've felt washed out, and unable to take holiday recently. Last week I booked the last 3 days. I've done nothing, deliberately. But realistically this is not good.
I've finally got on top of my HRT but my diabetes has gone to pot.
Talked to Dh about it last night.

I could've written this myself! 53 here post meno but still sleep issues, I do take a variety of vitamins. DH has reduced his hours (60 next year works for the NHS) I'm looking at reducing mine at 55, moving near the sea and taking my foot off the gas, however I work with knobs and don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut for. Asked for compressed hours but it was refused, small company but big corprate syndrome. No mortgage makes a big difference, adult kids are self sufficient, don't know what's stopping me really.

I think you should go to the GP. I'm 60, often do 15hr days, all my colleagues/ contacts are 10/15 years younger and I feel perfectly relevant and only marginally tired. You may need to get iron / Vit B / hormones checked.

I’m 61, with heart/lung issues and arthritis. Going into the office 4 days per week and working from home one day. I’m up at 6, leave at 7 for an hour commute. That one day a week wfm is what keeps me going. Unfortunately I can’t retire tlll I’m at least 67 as I have a mortgage (marital breakup…). I literally can’t downsize as my house is pretty small and basic. It’s really hard, OP, I understand.

Ahh yes the insomnia, I hear you Op!

one thing that has helped immeasurably for both me and most of my friends is Bach Rescue Night Spray. A couple of squirts on the tongue at bedtime has helped all of us sleep properly again

it’s herbal and I’ve no idea how it works (and frankly I don’t care as proper sleep is the one thing that has made me feel normal again😁) but it’s worth a try

You only get one life - and many people retire then straight away get sick and do not have the pleasure of retirement relaxation. I know about this - OH was diagnosed with PD before retirement and died - bang goes retirement for us both!

I jumped off the career wheel when I was 50 and did several part-time jobs that I enjoyed for a few years. I have never regretted that as I had lots of new experiences.

This happened to me. I worked in the NHS for nearly 40 years. All the unpaid overtime, all the extra work to keep everything going. I look back and wish I had spent more time with my children. I looked after 2 lots of elderly, sick parents.
Then I retired, my son died suddenly, I developed a collection of autoimmune diseases and I have been ill and pretty disabled ever since.
I have so many regrets.
Nobody lies on their deathbed wishing they had spent more time working.

So just to clarify, you live 3.5 hours from your place of work but you only need to be there once a fortnight?

What would you all do if you became ill and couldn’t work or you had to take a lower stress part time job? Because it sounds like this could easily happen. For those who can downsize, why don’t you do so? Because at the moment your lives don’t sound worth living and you’ll barely manage to make it to retirement anyway. I can tell you from experience that it’s almost impossible to be accepted for any sort of disability benefit.

I have insurance to cover me for that - it is one of the things I have to work to pay for. I am in the same position as many of you, nearly 50 and tired and fed up of corporate bullshit. No chance of retiring/ cutting back any time soon because I have an 8 year old and only took on a new mortgage 4 years ago. Not in a large house either. We are in the SE and my work is in London (mainly WFH) but I do absolutely need the money. Have not made the most sensible life decisions over the years.

Hmm, I've been thinking about this. Mid 50s now, I'm part-time in hectic stressful job. I worked yesterday and was totally overwhelmed and exhausted by end of shift. When I was doing this in my 20s I had more energy and my then senior colleagues had a more relaxed work experience. The trouble isn't that I'm working harder, it's that it hasn't relented and I'm 30 years more worn out. I'm considering early retirement - shame they'll lose my expertise but they'll get someone younger and more energetic and wear them out too!

Op I was in a prof role in my early 50 s and i had teens. I could feel myself burning out .
I reviewed it and went part time in my prof role .I also picked up bits of cleaning work with an agency . It was a good antidote to my stressful career , kept some money coming in and I cd be home when teens were.
I found the two jobs were much easier and also cut my cloth.
wd this help maybe ?

I hear you OP, I've been having this conversation with DP recently. I work fro home a fair bit which helps but I also have quite a lot of long distance and oversees travel. I recently came back from holiday on a long haul flight and went straight into a three day conference staying away from home and its wiped me out. I'm an older mum so DS is only 11, I don't even get to relax on my day off!

I want to stay full time but go back to entry level type role in my industry. We can afford it with a bit of budget tweaking but the economy being what it is I'm nervous of making the leap. I definitely can't do another 18 years of this though.