To think I'm too old and knackered for this lark

[LovelyBitOfSquirrel69]

Early 50's...professional job... menopausal...insomniac. Am up at 5.30am to get to London for a meeting. This is a regular occurrence and I'm feeling too old for it. Will end up staggering through the day like a zombie, barely functioning, only to get home 13 hours later and go straight to bed. Wish I could pack it all in for a low pressure job but I can't afford the pay cut.

Sorry OP my last post was ahead of reading yours- so you do HRT and sun already.
I would say then that further investigation into sleep would help, deffo cut booze if not already - and if you can carve out some time to look at options to reduce hours / commute etc ( if possible - but you are more than can able of having worked that out already so I am assuming not that easy ).

Solidarity.

You're probably stronger than you think. At the risk of sounding bad, some of these millenials are really flakey workers so I'm sure you are more knowledge and experienced. Do you speak up?

Do you exercise regularly?
Can you have a mini break in London

Just popping in to add my voice to the vitamin d advice. We all need to take supplements during the darker months. It is really important. Women really should add calcium too, for our bones.

Similar feelings re work. Teacher. Almost 50. Not sure I can do this til I'm 67 (only managed to get a mortgage 4.5 years ago so I'm paying that til I retire). I'm fine at work, got to be all smily and fun and I still thoroughly enjoy it, but it's exhausting!

On HRT (full hysterectomy 7 years ago) and it helps a lot but I'm not myself at the moment.

Magnesium helps with sleep. Used to take in the morning but now take with evening meal.

I hear you. HRT has kept me functioning but I don’t have the same work enthusiasm I had ten years ago. i recently decided to be careful not to waste my 50s though. I don’t know exactly what that means but I’m starting by making more of weekends and upping my exercise. Maybe cutting back wine will come later. Work is what it is. I’ll try to be useful while I’m there - at least enough to hang onto my job.

This thread has given me a huge wake up call. Thank you to everyone for all the excellent advice. I used to focus so much on self care and have just lost that habit in a fog of rushing from one job to the next. I am going to re-set at the weekend and start to prioritise healthy eating, exercise and some me-time again (and drink a bit less!)

Do you have to commute everyday. I’m 52 and now only commute 2 days and it’s made a huge difference. Sadly still have the sleep issues and was awake this morning at 04.00. Unfortunately the Dr won’t give me HRT because I’m overweight ( I’m a size 16/18) so I’m trapped in this endless cycle.

I think it's normal unfortunately. Dp is mid 50's and struggling now, thankfully the mortgage is now paid off so it's a case of saving hard for 3-4 years then hopefully he can retire but pick up consultancy for a few months a year. I'm 25 hours a week thankfully

Most people will be working till they are 70 - cut a day now and enjoy long weekends, do that, enjoy your life more and retire at 62? Also, why don't you just do an overnight in a cheap b&b - you've got to look at other ways of thinking. I speak from burn out experience, now do a 4 day week and it's made a massive difference.

@Divebar2021 i would go see a different DR as I’ve been on HRT for 5yrs and a size 16-18! Maybe there’s other risk factors but I wouldn’t just except that answer.

@Divebar2021 Please challenge this with your GP. The hormones in HRT are a replacement of the natural hormones we have in our bodies prior to menopause. They aren’t additional, synthetic hormones as used in contraception. At least that is my understanding, I could be wrong!

I would be asking at the surgery if there is a practitioner who specialises in women’s health.

Vit B12 is another one to consider. I was feeling beyond tired with other unpleasant symptoms as well & on some days could barely function. I now have Vit B12 injections every 3 months & it’s an absolute game changer.

Placemarking

You don't HAVE to do you job @LovelyBitOfSquirrel69 . It's a choice.

You could live in a smaller home, work less, get a lower pressure job, live elsewhere, spend less.

Society forces on us that we need to buy a home, a bigger home, a car, things, LOTS of things, etc etc etc... we follow that narrative and spend much of our life stressed chasing things.

Some people jump off the treadmill and look for a simpler life. You only have one life - enjoy it. Consider moving /trying something different/cutting back/selling STUFF you have accumulated and don't really need. This consumerist society is killing people and wasting lives

I am trying to get my head around this

What I remember is that when I was in my 20s/30s

We had tea breaks morning and afternoon and hour long lunch breaks almost every day

If we travelled any distance we always got to stay the night and often took an extra day to see the sights

So I am wondering if it's less age and more expected work intensity that has changed ?

Older people may notice it more as they have been going longer - but it may well be that younger people start to burn out also

Totally get you . I commuted into London when I was younger for many years. In my 50's now and I can think of nothing worse .
Even this week , I normally wfh 3days a week and have been into the office 5 days to cover holidays and I've hated the early wet dark morning starts . The thought of a London commute no way .
Find a way to downsize and enjoy life .

Early 40s, two kids still at home + anxiety that is set off by tiredness, hunger or pushing myself too far. I've recently left my low-paid but peaceful WFH job in publishing to join a digital organising working with tech, travel most weeks, lots and lots of meetings with very clever people who are mostly talking in what seems to be an entirely different language. I am really enjoying it for the most part, but it is a challenge. Vitamin D, vitamin B, remember to eat. I gave up alcohol completely for my MH (it should never be socially unacceptable not to drink @Thepeopleversuswork!), and go to bed at 9 most days.

Is that really the case?! I have an appointment next week to ask for HRT and am a size 16, couple of stone overweight.

*digital organisation. I'm on my way to a conference right now, I'm very tired! 😂

Being overweight is not a reason on its own to not be prescribed HRT.

Take the NICE guidelines to your doc and register on the free Balance app ( Dr Newson) for all the sensible, validated advice to help in your GP discussions

@AltheaVestr1t - we are career twins ! Left publishing in 2018 and now live in a digital world ... !

@NearlChristmas I've actually just swapped my (expensive) car for something cheaper. The house can't go yet though, still have older teens at home part time and need the space. Baby steps.

The commute is from the north of England, I don't live anywhere near London! I could stay tonight but it's my choice not to as I have to be up north for another commitment.

@NearlChristmas

Society forces on us that we need to buy a home, a bigger home, a car, things, LOTS of things, etc etc etc... we follow that narrative and spend much of our life stressed chasing things.

Sorry but this narrative is so irritating. People with the luxury of not having to generate the income being condescending to people who do.

Some people don't need to work and can afford to drop days a week etc. A lot of us (such as lone parents) do need to work to keep a roof over our heads, not just to pay for a bigger car or expensive clothes and scented candles. It's really not helpful having someone who clearly hasn't had to worry about this tip up and bang on about "consumerism".

Agreed @Thepeopleversuswork - I'm
It doing this to buy more scented candles FFS. We live in the SE, husband earns less and son attends a specialist school nearby ( disabled) - we live in a 2.5 bed semi!!

Also - I know I am fortunate so please don't consider it a moan - we are lucky, but it's not personal rampant consumerism keeping me here 😡