To think I'm too old and knackered for this lark

[LovelyBitOfSquirrel69]

Early 50's...professional job... menopausal...insomniac. Am up at 5.30am to get to London for a meeting. This is a regular occurrence and I'm feeling too old for it. Will end up staggering through the day like a zombie, barely functioning, only to get home 13 hours later and go straight to bed. Wish I could pack it all in for a low pressure job but I can't afford the pay cut.

I think part of the issue is that employers want and expect more from their staff than they did 15-20 years ago in a drive for maximum profits. Most workplaces are short staffed and employers are under the illusion that they can just get by with everyone working flat out all the time. There is zero slack in the system if someone is on holiday or off sick that workload is piled on others who are already overwhelmed. How many people don't take lunch breaks, work late, go in early, answer emails and take calls outside work. This was not how we worked when I started but it is the norm now.

So do it? One day will make a huge difference - you can exercise, or relax or prepare for the week ahead.

You ca change things if you want to - go party time, get a less high pressure job, find someone where closer. Not really the "young" people's fault you don't.

OMG I hear you! Employers should become more accommodating to employees, especially women! Not many people who work in London can afford to live in London so commutes can be so long, draining and expensive! I don't understand the need for early meetings.

I'm really lucky in that I've been able to work mostly from home since Covid and if I go to the office I travel off peak most of the time. If I didn't get enough sleep I'd go crazy but luckily my boss gets that and is very flexible.

The culture of presenteeism and sexism (that doesn't consider women's needs) needs to change and fast!

It does sound like OP's employer is pretty accomodating. She says she works remotely most of the time and this is only occassional. Also it's hardly her employer's fault she lives 3.5 hrs from work.

Don't take calcium - www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/calcium-supplements-should-you-take-them

But menopause doesn't wait and it can really affect your energy levels, sleep etc.

I hear you OP. I am 55 and have felt this way for a while now. I have 3 years left on the mortgage then I'm stopping work, even if I have to tighten my belt to make the money last it's better than this slog

@GordonShakespearedoesChristmas

I think you should go to the GP. I'm 60, often do 15hr days, all my colleagues/ contacts are 10/15 years younger and I feel perfectly relevant and only marginally tired. You may need to get iron / Vit B / hormones checked.

I don't think this is the norm though Gordon to be honest.

I'm feeling similar to PP at 54. But wfh and only do 32 hours but the work is relentless- I'm presenting most of my meetings so very "on" if that makes sense. Endless meetings and work has to slot between.

Then have to run a home (single parent) and take endless calls about my elderly mother.

I've been and fetched a kitkat and I'm having a break as an act of rebellion.

They could allow her to join the meeting remotely if she is feeling that unwell (and I don't blame her having to get up at 5.30am!). We lots of meetings where some join in person and others remotely.

I find it interesting that most posts are about what the OP could do differently about herself rather than seek to challenge the work culture.

Is it true to say that your dissatisfaction with your job is becoming overwhelming? Because if you were still fired up you'd probably find ways of coping.

In the short term, can you:
Stay overnight before early meetings
Cut down on alcohol and eat healthily (mostly vegetables and lean protein and only small amounts of carbs and sugar, which can make you sluggish)
Make sure you take all necessary vitamins, calcium, supplements
Consider HRT
Exercise at home when it's convenient rather than going to the gym, which may be just one more chore that saps your energy.

But in the long term you'll probably need to focus on changing your working life as it doesn't seem sustainable.

I could write this. I'm 50, in a high-pressure senior role, single mum with 2 toddlers.
I work more than fulltime (and have just been asked to take on an even more demanding role). If I stay with my company for the next 4 years, I'll get huge bonuses each year, which will set me up for retirement. There's also constant stress of being let go (cut-throat industry).
I was awake for hours last night, thinking about work. I've no time to exercise, since I'm either working, minding my twins, or frequently back working again once they're asleep.
I hope to start winding down in work when I'm 60, and retire about 63.

Just to say my experience of my 50s is that I feel 100% more tired and lacking energy in my late 50s than I did in my early 50s. I didn't have the 12 hour work days/commute that you have but early 50s was working, and had care responsibilities for teenage DC and elderly family members so always rushing around . Now - whilst my responsibilities have dropped hugely I often struggle with tiredness and fatigue .

I think that's something to bear in mind if you are planning the next few years of your life. I never took HRT though - so in hindsight I would probably have benefitted.

No. I live a half hour drive from my main office. But lots of our meetings take place at our Southern base. It's not like I took a job 3.5 hours away from where I live. The northern contingent are always expected to travel. Rarely the other way round.

i'm actively looking to cut my hours for similar reasons. currently working ft which is supposed to be 35 hrs a week but is always minimum 45.
i'm trying to do this with chronic daily migraine and arthritis pain, it's too much.
i will barely cope financially on 3 days a week but need to do
it.

HRT 👌

Already on it. Have said that already. It's not the silver bullet.

Solidarity with this thread. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that most of the posts are pre 6 am.

so true @AuntieJoyce - it says something about the amount we all have to fit into our days

I absolutely get you! I felt the same, and I only worked part time most of the time as I was self employed. HRT has helped a lot I must say, and Vitamin b12.

I actually jacked it all in, remortgaged my house, took most of the equity out and moved to Cornwall. I did a let to buy mortgage and now rent my old house out. Everyone said how brave I was, but it actually felt I had no choice for the sake of my mental health.

Completely agree. @NearlChristmas

Simple living I really think is the answer. I've been getting into minimalism the last few years, it brings me so much happiness.

Feeling so much of the things discussed on this thread even though I'm only in my forties. Every day is like walking through treacle at the moment.

Quick question Re supplements though, if you start taking a lot can they interfere with one another? I already take Iron, and Biotin & Zinc, but looking to introduce Vit D and B12.. I'm not on HRT yet but currently monitoring symptoms so i can argue with the GP but im nervoud of taking "too much"?

I do think employment has got tougher. Almost every job seems to be intense- no quiet periods, no slack in the system. Prioritising is constant, because there's more to do than time to do it.

I work part time in a low pressure job, and I'm still struggling. My focus is shot, my energy low. I'm having blood tests and am on HRT.

It's just pants. I hate this new version of me.

Lovely bit - ah I see, I would stay in a hotel over night and get some me time, but appreciate that may not be possible

Prior to the pandemic I had commuted into London for over 20 years, I was in my mid 50s menopausal, so sleeping poorly, and dragging myself into work each day. The pandemic saw this stop and my god the difference no commute made was phenomenal to my mental and physical health.

@LovelyBitOfSquirrel69 its partly that at our age it takes longer to recover from that type of day.

I dropped a day and didn’t work Wednesdays that made such a difference as I never worked more than 2 days in a row.