In Laws Keeping the Baptism Gifts

[OctaviaWS12]

So, last week was our sons baptism, hosted in France (the country where my DH is from however we live in England ). (My inlaws insisted it be hosted here). Anyway, our son was very lucky and received lots of lovely gifts from his relatives. However, two gifts in particular caused issues. From a friend of the family, he received a hand crafted silver picture frame (worth quite a bit of money!) . My in laws say that it has to stay in their house, so that the person who gifted it can see it and they can enjoy it. However, we don’t see our in laws very often as they are ‘busy’, maybe twice a year. In addition, they said that we would have to decide together who takes the gold and silver gifts
home, as they want to keep some as a ‘memento’ of the baptism. Am I unreasonable for asking to take all of them home? To where DS lives ? As the gifts were for him. In addition, my husband works away a lot and I’m often caring for my DS alone, and with the help of my parents. I’m concerned that if they stay with my in laws, he will never see them.

Sometimes I'm sad my DD is estranged from her grandparents on her Dad's side....then I read stuff like this and think, TF we don't have this drama 🤣
You're ILs are mental and your DH is (sorry) spineless. Is it a hill you want to die on though, if so, steal it in the dead of night and drive to Calais. It can be a fun poirot mystery for them. 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

When are you leaving op?

Could you grab everything they want to keep and run out to the post office or DHL and post it back to your home in the UK?

There'll be nothing they can do about that 😂

Your DH has shown you who he is too. Be very careful of your financial and legal entanglements with him, and make sure you have a good contingency plan for getting out with your child.

How ridiculous. Tell them the gifts are for DS so they'll be going with him. It's theft if they try and hide and keep them.

Totally agree with this.

You need to be having strong words with your husband . If they do keep any gifts make sure when you write the thank you cards that you put in it ‘ thank you for the lovely x , unfortunately mr and Mrs A have insisted on it staying at their home so our son will barely see it , but I appreciate the thought that was put into buying it ‘ .

Now now, we must remember to use our vous. Wouldn’t want to be impolite now, would we?!

Allez vous faire foutre… but yes, va te faire foutre is perfectly correct @MichelleScarn and it does indeed mean eff off.

I was thinking of - Vous vous foutez de ma gueule — you’re taking the piss out of me. Or - arretez de vous foutre de ma gueule — stop taking the piss out of me.

French people make a big thing about family. The right to a family’s life is written into law, which is why French people were not banned from visiting family during lockdown as this would have been against family life and illegal. So I’d play that back as it’s my child’s gift.

Youre all very right. They put me in a very difficult position as I was staying with them. Also I have been with my husband for four years now, and this is the first time I’ve seen my in laws act in such a way. They completely changed. so weird.
I was extremely upset with my husband, and told him I felt as though he had truly let our daughter down in favour of not upsetting his parents. How spineless indeed!!
however, he was very aggressive in the thought of me taking it. And considered it extremely disrespect that I didn’t ask his parents what to do with the gifts first. But I assumed they were for the child!! Obviously!!

Ha ha meant son!

I can guarantee, from personal experience, that the frames will feature pictures of your child with your DH. The MIL will accidentally on purpose be wearing the pendant the next time you see it, and look you dead in the eye daring you to speak up.

Honestly the way some people behave with a new baby in the family is utterly, utterly batshit.

Funny they only want the silver and gold presents.

Send out thank you notes explaining that even though the thoughtful gifts your son received are beautiful he is not allowed to keep them as your MIL has claimed them.

My inlaws insisted it be hosted here.

You have a DH problem for caving.

He needs to step up and deal with his parents.

however, he was very aggressive in the thought of me taking it. And considered it extremely disrespect that I didn’t ask his parents what to do with the gifts first

He sounds bloody awful.

What happened to his baptismal gifts?

Fabulous idea.

I would of snuck it in the suitcase on the way out.

Very money grabbing ILs, your DH is the issue here though he needs to stop being such a push over.

Omg please stand up to all these crazy people. It's stealing. The gifts belong to your child.

I would write to each gift giver to thank them for their generosity and thoughtfulness, and tell them the grandparents have insisted in keeping the valuable ones - so sadly, their godchild will not be able to see it or have it.

and if child number 2 happens, insist on having baptism in own country and do not open gifts til in laws have gone!

The gifts belong to your son and to you as parents. Just pack them to take them back. Say how nice it was to offer to keep the gifts but you would like your son to grow up with these items. They can always buy similar and you’ll ask the present giver if they could help your PIL to source these items. Close suitcase and lock it

DH problem....

I’m in awe at the cheek of them 😂😂😂 no way would I leave a thing there they can insist all they please!

Get home and consider getting rid of thr husband

Good idea

..."aggressive"...and so his masks slips OP.

You are finally seeing EXACTLY who he is.

I suggest you take note.

however, he was very aggressive in the thought of me taking it. And considered it extremely disrespect that I didn’t ask his parents what to do with the gifts first.

What is his reasoning for the gifts to stay with his parents?

Has he been aggressive in the past?