AIBU: Work colleague taking the p***

[Banana2621]

So - I am normally a very sympathetic person but feeling really annoyed by a co-worker who is off sick. We can't help being ill I know that and he will be off for at least another 4 weeks. During that time we have a team lunch to celebrate Christmas. He said he was looking forward to joining us for lunch so I asked when he was due back to work and he said he will wait and see what the doctors say when he goes back in 3 weeks!
AIBU about this? Feeling really annoyed. We are all trying to pick up the slack which is hard work but we are busy. I am not expecting him to come back until he is fit but I certainly would not be able to attend a lunch while off sick! I'm really worried it will naff it up for us in future. Maybe its just me I don't know.
Thoughts please

It is not the sick person’s responsibility that you have more work to do. That is your manager’s problem. Your colleague is off for a long time which means it’s not something trivial. Maybe a lunch with colleagues would do them some good. Mind you if you all think the same way about them maybe they would better off avoiding this lunch. I worked with people who were like this, never again. You are being unreasonable, uncharitable and projecting your annoyance at extra work to the wrong person.

I feel your pain !!
I also used to work with someone who had loads of time off for their 'mental health' meaning that I would then be expected to do their work as well.
This would be weeks and months at a time.

She would regularly post on social media during her time off sick showing herself having lovely days out at the seaside, cream teas with family and friends, walks in different parts of the country from where she lived etc etc
She was also able to attend all her amateur dramatics clubs and even be in a production all whilst being on the sick !!

She knew she was getting away with it and so she continued.

Management knew all this and turned a blind eye.

It was only when I refused to do her work that they finally did something about it and she was 'moved on'

Honestly this behaviour went on for years with her in different departments and still gives me the rage when I think about the total piss taker she was allowed to be.
Good luck !

Or maybe her mental health meant more to her than her shitty job

I think it depends. I was off long term sick with stress and depression many years ago but I was able to go out to lunch etc. However I would have never gone to a work lunch, I already felt guilty, I could never have done that to my colleagues who were having to cover all my work. I didn't see or speak to my colleagues until to returned back to work.

There are people who are genuinely ill but there are also people who take the piss. I don't think many people on here have been unfortunate to work with those. They do exist!

Wow I was completely on your side but see that most of the responses are not! I guess I’m not off sick unless I’m genuinely incapable of leaving my bed so can’t really get their POV.

Lucky you. So far all your conditions have left you flat out and prostrate. Time will come when that isn't the case and hopefully people won't be as nasty and judgemental as some people on here....

@purplehair1 I’m guessing you’ve never had a mental health problem severe enough to need time off work then? I’ve been off for months with severe depression - been told repeatedly that it’s not safe for me to work (I’m a doctor so safety is key) whether or not I want to be at work. It’s really hard to get out of bed most days but crucial to recovery, and even better if I can manage to get out to lunch with colleagues.

Does that make a bit more sense?

Prior to experiencing something similar, I would’ve said YABU and it’s none of your business but reading some of your replies, I get the feeling the frustration comes more from how constant these absences are and perhaps you don’t believe they’re entirely genuine? Sadly, I can relate.

I have a colleague who is off sick at the drop of a hat. They were complained about for a totally different issue (not remotely related to sickness in any way) around six months ago, and since then, their sick days have really ramped up and they’ve been off for months with one ailment or another. Pretty convenient timing. I think it’s more a case of their pride is wounded and they can’t cope with the fact they were reprimanded for doing something very, very wrong that multiple people had noticed, and perhaps they’re wanting to punish the company for having the “audacity” to ask them to stop doing the wrong thing. They’re coming up to the five month mark of sick days, so likely won’t be off again now until that resets so their pay isn’t affected. While they’re off, we have to pick up their workload, too. We work to targets so it’s unavoidable and really affects the rest of the team. They know this. They’ve been caught in many lies by other colleagues so I don’t believe a word that comes out of their mouth, to be honest.

I agree companies and employers need to do better by their employees where sickness and mental health is concerned, but I also think in some cases, the hastiness to right the wrongs of the past has led to many being open to being exploited or taken advantage of. There are bad and/or lazy people who play the system and I have no doubt my colleague is one of them. They’re making a mockery of the system and if caught, could cause genuine sufferers to have to “prove” themselves more. At the moment, my colleague is basically untouchable given the route they’ve gone down, and have made many comments proudly alluding to this.

There are a lot of people on here sharing their own personal situations with long term illness and/or mental health and I sympathise entirely, but just because you’re genuine, that doesn’t mean everyone else is. Frankly, some people are lazy bastards who take the piss and completely exploit the system to get away with a full time wage for little to no work.

Are people who are off long term sick just meant to stay indoors 24/7 and stare at the wall all day? That's really going to help their recovery.

It really is management's problem though whether or not the colleague is taking the piss. I run a very small business with a range of freelancers. A few months ago, one basically got quite sick and struggled with the resulting impact on her MH. I had to mitigate. So yes, I took on some of the work, but some of it I had to just tell clients couldn't be done to the usual timescale. If the team is smaller, then the workload needs to be smaller and projects or deadlines need to be moved accordingly.

Well said!