People who won't leave a restaurant when their child is kicking up

[JanetSally]

I was having dinner in a restaurant the other evening. A couple at another table had a small baby with them in a buggy. The mother had just fed the baby and put him back down but he wasn't happy and started crying, the noise escalating and escalating. The parents, who had finished their meal, very slowly finished their coffee/wine before leaving the restaurant despite the fact that people were turning around and looking at them.

I was in a cafe recently with a friend when her toddler started tantrumming. I said I was nearly finished and happy to go, but my friend said no, we'd paid for our food and were entitled to stay. She just wasn't budging, so I took her child outside while she finished every bit of her cake.

Why do some people do this? It's very unfair on everyone else in the restaurant.

Illiterate… seen and not HEARD!! Ok.

work harder on your comeback next time 👍🏻😂

I mean it thought it was very obvious that was a joke, but maybe not then…

Theres a difference between a bit of background chatter to a baby screaming it’s lungs out 🙄

Hahaha ok!! The general level of ridiculousness on this thread threw me off! We are in agreement 🙈😂

I think the reasonable thing is to try and quieten them, if they don't settle, you take them out, don't destroy other people's dining experiences.
Tbh I appreciate that not everyone feels the same way. My DH is definitely in the let them cry camp, and it causes a lot of tension between us, but its bloody rude to do anything else.

I bet they still moan and can't understand why people don't want to see them as much as they used to....

Children make noise and can be disruptive, I think most people don't have an issue if the Parents are actively trying to manage it. It's those parents that make absolutely no attempt to mitigate their child's behaviour on everyone around them that everyone hates (a special place in hell is reserved for the idiots that smile benignly about their precious cherub, while everyone else would happily throw it out the window)

I either don't go to the type of restaurants that attract families full stop or if I do I don't go at the times they are likely to be there.

That's not me being snobby about the places I eat, just realistic.

So while I like Pizza Express which is good place for everyone I wouldn't go on a weekend lunchtime because that's when kids are going to go. I'd choose weekday or more usually dinner. Same as with the posh places that welcome families.

People who deliberately want to piss you off with their behaviour are wrong whether they are loud and drunk or refuse to go outside with tantrumming children because they've paid and want to finish their cake.

It's not failsafe. Children are allowed to be in most restaurants at any time so a tantrumming toddler or crying baby might be there at the same time as me. But families aren''t generally the problem and I can put up with a crying child if a parent is trying to do something about it which they usually do. It's often people who have had too much to drink and I say that as someone who likes a drink too. It's just manners and unfortunately you met a mum with bad manners.

When I’m out and a toddler is flipping out I don’t feel cross at the disturbance because I get how hard it is. I don’t really bring my toddlers out for food because it’s just too bloody hard, though I will of course when they are bigger. On no planet however do I think other people shouldn’t, and I say fair play to them.

You missed the sarcasm which is /s.

Or go home, yes. It is unfortunate when your child ruins your meal, it is selfish to extend that out so that your child ruins it for others.

She is eating in cafes during the day, not fine dining restaurants on an evening!

This is really sad and I am sorry you had this experience. There is a huge difference between selfish people just letting babies scream their heads off without bothering to soothe them and a wee child just being a toddler. There is nothing to do on a bus even if the child is crying die to limited space, you can just soothe as best you can, but if they are just happy and babbling like your son, why should you do anything? He was not out of control, he was just being bless him.

DD rarely kicks off thankfully but if she does she’s immediately removed from the situation by one of us and taken outside. It’s for us as much as her - nothing more embarrassing and other people shouldn't be subjected to it or our attempts to distract / calm her down.

It doesn't matter where you are, if your child is screaming, you do not inflict it on others. Doing so is just a massive fuck you to everyone else. People are entitled to eat without screaming.

Agree with this I used to "read" to DS on the bus at this age. Maybe that annoyed people ? I don't know. However he was academically gifted, no idea if it's related......

Your friend deserved to enjoy her cake without you being so self-righteous and smug.

If you had a toddler yourself and knew how difficult it is then maybe you’d want cake too. I’m sure you’ll be the perfect parent though and will forego any of life’s pleasures to make sure that the strangers around you don’t have to suffer a bit of noise for five minutes.

Agree with this 😆

I wouldn't leave. Kids make noise. Doesn't bother me.

But you said I should go outside to wait for boxed up food or to pay? I think you're just looking to have a dig tbh.

^ yeah tbh that's the main bit that got me OP, like why wouldn't you have given her a hand so she could finish her food without then having to come on here to slag her off for it? That's what most friends would do for each other, obviously she came out with the purpose to meet you to catch up, not to have you lend a hand then judge her for needing it in the first place. To me it's just good manners if you're out with a parent and their kid is fussing that you'd do what you did and distract the kid and let the parent eat. I don't know why you'd automatically expect her to leave the food she paid for (which is a real treat if you're on smp) and run away just because you were finished and kid was fussing. I find that strange. Like even well before I had kids I knew to do that.

I think it depends on the venue and the time. Kids in cafes in the day, no problem but young kids in nice restaurants after 7pm? No thanks.

Yes It’s actually part of learning how to behave in different situations . Absolutely fine, no problem at all, as long as other people can still hear themselves think and talk.
Come on, not comparing your DD having a lovely time with an unhappy child being ignored by their parent.

I’m 2 for 2!!! Going home now 😂😂

Presumably you could ask your friend why she did it?

Family chain-type restaurant often translates into - cheaper places where poor people eat our kids can be noisy. In expensive places we go for a night out, we expect different standards.

I think a bus though you have to just put up with noise. Travelling by buses is often not a choice.