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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Prince Andrew taken back into the fold this weekend.

389 replies

Wishiwasinmalta · 13/11/2022 15:33

AIBU or will the popularity of the RF drop like a lead balloon if they keep on doing this?

OP posts:
Sigma33 · 13/11/2022 20:46

Sigma33 · 13/11/2022 20:44

I have no doubt I was not the first or the last the be groomed by this person.

But I also recognise that many of the men I had sex with would have assumed I wanted it. If there was any conviction it was me 'calling rape' after being a willing participant.

I think men (and women) should not be so full of themselves to imagine that a big discrepancy in age/attractiveness means they are so special that it overcomes anything else. That they should take the time to get to know the other person.

I should have said It would have been seen as rather than it was me 'calling rape

FurAndFeathers · 13/11/2022 20:47

Sigma33 · 13/11/2022 20:44

I have no doubt I was not the first or the last the be groomed by this person.

But I also recognise that many of the men I had sex with would have assumed I wanted it. If there was any conviction it was me 'calling rape' after being a willing participant.

I think men (and women) should not be so full of themselves to imagine that a big discrepancy in age/attractiveness means they are so special that it overcomes anything else. That they should take the time to get to know the other person.

Sorry I’m not really sure what your Oi in by is?

unless it’s that men presented with underage girls at parties held by convicted sex offenders should assume the girks ‘want it’ because that’s how they present?

I think most folk with a basic level of intelligence would acknowledge that is ludicrous.

FurAndFeathers · 13/11/2022 20:48

*Sorry I’m not really sure what your point is?

Readinginthesun · 13/11/2022 20:49

antelopevalley · 13/11/2022 20:34

It was a shooting party.

But it wasn’t an official event . Are you suggesting he never set foot out of the house again ? He shouldn’t see friends and family ?
There’s a big difference between official events and private ones .

pantherrose · 13/11/2022 20:49

AutumnCrow · 13/11/2022 18:18

I would LOVE to know what Meghan Sussex thinks of Andrew York.

Exactly. The settlement was negotiated pretty quickly after David Boies (Guiffres lawyer) suggested that he may call Meghan to testify as apparently she would tell the truth .....😂

bellac11 · 13/11/2022 20:51

pantherrose · 13/11/2022 20:49

Exactly. The settlement was negotiated pretty quickly after David Boies (Guiffres lawyer) suggested that he may call Meghan to testify as apparently she would tell the truth .....😂

I dont believe a word of that, what would Meghan know?

Sigma33 · 13/11/2022 20:51

The reality is, I came on to those men. I told them I wanted sex with them. I didn't want sex, I wanted love, care, affection.

I had no other way of asking for that.

It was not their fault that I had been so mentally messed up I could not distinguish love/care from casual sex.

It wasn't my fault either. I did what I needed to do to survive. But yes, my parents have some responsibility for seeing love as conditional on pleasing others. Not their intention, but that is what I learnt from my early years

Readinginthesun · 13/11/2022 20:51

AutumnCrow · 13/11/2022 18:18

I would LOVE to know what Meghan Sussex thinks of Andrew York.

And I would love to know what he and other members of the Royal Family thought of her .

Pinkcadillac · 13/11/2022 20:52

So it was a shooting party 🙄

Canthave2manycats · 13/11/2022 20:52

FurAndFeathers · 13/11/2022 20:42

You have consistently used this thread to criticise someone who was a victim of sex trafficking in support of a rich white bloke who chose to befriend a child sex offender.

just because that rich white bloke is a Royal.

there’s no twisting or stretching.
you describe Andrew’s deliberate and consistent friendship with a child sex offender over many years as ‘Ill-advised’ but not ‘criminal’

it might not be criminal. It is abhorrent.
you choose not to see it as such and instead to try and attack woman who suffered years of abuse at the hands of Andrew’s ‘friend’.

I doubt you’d behave that way if it was Dave down the pub who was running a child grooming and trafficking ring. If it was and folk you knew knowingly and actively supported it would you choose to befriend them? To overlook parties with young groomed 14-17 year olds from your local comp and their attendance at sex parties with local officials, lawyers, mayors and businessmen? What if your DD and her pals were invited to parties where men in their 30s and 40s groomed them for sex?

still totally comfortable with the non-convictions of these men?

we know that Andrew did all of this.

Nonsense! I have never liked PA with his arrogance and posturing and his dodgy deals etc but I do believe in fairness and justice.

You have consistently used this thread to peddle all the shit you have read in the media and you don't know what is true and what isn't. Neither do I, and neither do any of us. And WTF did this "rich, white" narrative come from?? Only you.

I've seen people's lives destroyed by gossip and lies. I will never be party to that no matter who the person is.

I was never completely convinced about VG, but then I didn't have to be. Finding out that she has lied about someone else really undermines the credibility of all of her other allegations.

Sigma33 · 13/11/2022 20:54

So I can see it is possible that VG seemed willing - seemed to want - to have sex with PA, even though she was trafficked and felt obliged to have sex with him

TheKeatingFive · 13/11/2022 20:54

It was not their fault that I had been so mentally messed up I could not distinguish love/care from casual sex.

Nope. It is their fault if you were trafficked, for taking advantage, and the law is clear on this. A trafficked person cannot consent, no matter how sexually available they are making themselves out to be.

Pinkcadillac · 13/11/2022 20:54

I would LOVE to know what Meghan Sussex thinks of Andrew York.

She is very friendly with Eugenie, as is Harry. Maybe she has first hand information about what Andrew is really like.

Readinginthesun · 13/11/2022 20:54

pantherrose · 13/11/2022 20:49

Exactly. The settlement was negotiated pretty quickly after David Boies (Guiffres lawyer) suggested that he may call Meghan to testify as apparently she would tell the truth .....😂

Hmm , I don’t think MM would have wanted to testify given the rumours about her past .

antelopevalley · 13/11/2022 20:54

Sigma33 · 13/11/2022 20:51

The reality is, I came on to those men. I told them I wanted sex with them. I didn't want sex, I wanted love, care, affection.

I had no other way of asking for that.

It was not their fault that I had been so mentally messed up I could not distinguish love/care from casual sex.

It wasn't my fault either. I did what I needed to do to survive. But yes, my parents have some responsibility for seeing love as conditional on pleasing others. Not their intention, but that is what I learnt from my early years

And were you trafficked for sex as Guiffre was?

TheKeatingFive · 13/11/2022 20:55

So I can see it is possible that VG seemed willing - seemed to want - to have sex with PA, even though she was trafficked and felt obliged to have sex with him

It doesn't matter how willing she 'seemed'. Her consent was not legally possible.

JudgeJ · 13/11/2022 20:55

Mamamia7962 · 13/11/2022 16:02

He wasn't at the public remembrance service attended by the other working royals. I think you should check your facts OP.

He wasn't at the public acts of remembrance and, going against the flow, can I say that it is the 40th anniversary of the Falklands conflict in which he served. We used to know people who served alongside him and their opinion was he was odious on land but he was exemplary in the air flying helicopters, no special treatment. I'm sure he had his own memories of losses from those days.

FurAndFeathers · 13/11/2022 20:56

pantherrose · 13/11/2022 20:49

Exactly. The settlement was negotiated pretty quickly after David Boies (Guiffres lawyer) suggested that he may call Meghan to testify as apparently she would tell the truth .....😂

I suspect a large part of Meghan and Harry leaving was Meghan’s refusal to bring her child up in a family associated with sex offenders (and racists)

but of course they can’t really say that. So instead they’re publicly vilified whilst the family of sex offender supporters and racists carry on with overwhelming public support.

bonkers

can you imagine if someone posted on here ‘AIBU to want to distance myself from my DH family? I’m mixed race and we’re having a baby. They have a history of making racist comments, his relative wore a racist broach to a recent family party and his uncle insists on bringing his close friend (a convicted child sex offender) to family parties. AIBU?’

I doubt there would be quite so many folk championing the Uncle’s POV in a non- Royal scenario.

JudgeJ · 13/11/2022 20:58

pantherrose · 13/11/2022 20:49

Exactly. The settlement was negotiated pretty quickly after David Boies (Guiffres lawyer) suggested that he may call Meghan to testify as apparently she would tell the truth .....😂

Meghan tell the truth, there's a novelty. Isn't the accuser beginning to retract some of her accustions, she mis-remembered conveniently.

Sigma33 · 13/11/2022 21:01

FurAndFeathers · 13/11/2022 20:47

Sorry I’m not really sure what your Oi in by is?

unless it’s that men presented with underage girls at parties held by convicted sex offenders should assume the girks ‘want it’ because that’s how they present?

I think most folk with a basic level of intelligence would acknowledge that is ludicrous.

I wasn't underage, and nor was VG.

Why would a man assume I was trafficked or abused? There are no physical symptoms. I seemed like a normal young woman in her late teens who wanted sex with them.

It was because I was desperately looking for love and affection and believed that sex was the way to achieve that.

That was because I had been groomed and abused, but didn't - at that point - realise that.

I blame my abuser. I don't blame the men who were happy to believe my statements about wanting to have sex with them.

To be clear, I think PA is an arrogant, entitled, obnoxious person. But not that he has necessarily broken the law

FurAndFeathers · 13/11/2022 21:04

Canthave2manycats · 13/11/2022 20:52

Nonsense! I have never liked PA with his arrogance and posturing and his dodgy deals etc but I do believe in fairness and justice.

You have consistently used this thread to peddle all the shit you have read in the media and you don't know what is true and what isn't. Neither do I, and neither do any of us. And WTF did this "rich, white" narrative come from?? Only you.

I've seen people's lives destroyed by gossip and lies. I will never be party to that no matter who the person is.

I was never completely convinced about VG, but then I didn't have to be. Finding out that she has lied about someone else really undermines the credibility of all of her other allegations.

What ‘shit’ have I peddled @Canthave2manycats ?

it is FACT that PA chose to maintain a longstanding friendship with a convicted child sex offender and attend parties held by that sex offender where underage girls were trafficked.

that is neither supposition nor speculation. It is fact admitted by PA and supported by flight logs and witness testimony.

you may think that activity is unproblematic and that’s fine.
but it is not shit peddled by the media.

and if you’re trying to deny that Andrew or Epstein are neither rich nor white, that is quite frankly bizarre! If you’re trying to suggest that being a powerful rich white man affords no advantages, then that is equally odd.

at least attempt to get your facts straight

Sigma33 · 13/11/2022 21:04

TheKeatingFive · 13/11/2022 20:54

It was not their fault that I had been so mentally messed up I could not distinguish love/care from casual sex.

Nope. It is their fault if you were trafficked, for taking advantage, and the law is clear on this. A trafficked person cannot consent, no matter how sexually available they are making themselves out to be.

It is 100% the fault of the traffickers, but only legally guilty for the person having sex if they could reasonably be expected to know the woman was trafficked

TheKeatingFive · 13/11/2022 21:05

I wasn't underage, and nor was VG.

VG was trafficked and the law is clear that, as such, she could not consent.

In your case, it may not have been so clear cut. In hers it was.

TheKeatingFive · 13/11/2022 21:06

It is 100% the fault of the traffickers, but only legally guilty for the person having sex if they could reasonably be expected to know the woman was trafficked

Ignorance is no legal defence for Andrew

antelopevalley · 13/11/2022 21:06

So many people do not understand either the law or the reality of trafficking.

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