Financially ruined family

[Madeamistake1]

Name changed for this.

Without going into detail, I made a massive decision/mistake recently that almost certainly has life long financial implications for my family. We're not going to be destitute, but will affect the size of the house we can buy etc. Plus there are emotional implications too.

I'm really struggling to forgive myself and have slid into a deep depression. I have a baby boy and feel so guilty that I'm giving him a worse life than I could have done if I hadn't made this mistake.

How do I forgive myself and move on? The regret and guilt is eating me up.

People say "you couldn't have known this would happen" but I kind of did, and did it anyway. I wasn't thinking clearly.

I'm on ADs and still feeling so low and like I've ruined everything.

Mistakes are forgiveable - we all make them. Refusing to move on from them when everyone else wants to is a bit harder to get over. Your dh clearly believes you add far more to your family’s life than you took away.

And putting it in context, at least your mistake was not on the scale of Liz Truss’s mistakes, which harmed an entire country (but did less harm to her financially that most people, so are harder to forgive, as most people didn’t even love her in the first place). Just keep reminding yourself, you add more to your family’s life than you have taken away and they love you.

With the collapse of crypto currency FTX recently I don't think you will be alone.
DH lost a lot of money post 2008 with the property crash in Ireland.
We've coped.

Most people have made a big mistake at some stage in their life. How you bpunce back and deal with it s key. Processing this with a professional if you are really unable to look at this objectively as a mistake to put behind you even if there have been long term consequences, would be a sensible and practical next step. Yo my could speak to your gp to refer you for counselling or to Mind.

Try not to be so materialistic and count your blessings like your baby boy's health and the fact that you aren't destitute, because some families are probably facing that.

A big house is more expensive to run. I downsized years ago.

Did you swap the family cow for some magic beans?

@LadyEloise1 Please please contact your local TD ( Irish MP )or a vocal local councillor re your Mica problem

What do you think the other thousands of people in Donegal have been doing for years regarding Mica. They have formed Mica action groups, protested in Dublin several times, involved all the local TDs, taken it to the media, even involved Brussels...do you think involving one more TD is going to make a blind bit of difference?

I have family members with MICA, they have done absolutely everything possible and are very involved with the groups. They have been told they will still be waiting years to fix their house, even though they 'qualify' for the redress scheme. Oh and they will still be thousands out of pocket because the 100% redress scheme is not actually 100%. Donegal, the forgotten county is right.

I’m still not sure how you have done this and if you can still buy a house tho smaller . Then all is not lost

if you have name changed anyway why not tell us what you did and maybe we can find ways to help you as what advise we offer may be different depending what has happened

if that makes sense

@Olive19741205
Point taken.

What a PP said. Imagine a horrific terrible tragedy that could have happened if you had taken the alternative path. A tragedy where you made a different financial decision but all of your family were hurt in a terrible car crash because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Try to convince yourself that although it feels awful now you have actually chosen the better path. The one where everyone lives and is healthy.

No one know how the alternative reality might have turned out. This is the way to absolve yourself of guilt and be grateful for the life you now have and the path stretching out ahead of you.

If it's any consolation my XH was an earlier adopter of bit coins but I made him sell them when we bought our last house as it was our last remaining savings of £2k. They would have been worth £800million now (or a few years ago no idea now as I don't care).

If it's any consolation my XH was an earlier adopter of bit coins but I made him sell them when we bought our last house as it was our last remaining savings of £2k. They would have been worth £800million now (or a few years ago no idea now as I don't care).

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss let me guess, your ex told you this?!

The crypto currency is like a rollercoaster really isn’t it.

Ha ha @Gumreduction no we were together for years after they were sold in 2012 so we watched their rise together. To his credit he never mentioned it.