To think DD’s friends parents don't need to know about DP’s past? *potential TW?*

[xidol70080]

I'm pretty sure I posted about DP before when he was first released from prison and MN was helpful then but I've since deleted that account so I can't find the thread, some of you may remember.

Some background. I was with DDs dad (now 4) for a few months at 16, I then found out I was pregnant and we stayed together. On his 17th birthday, he was drunk and stole his dads car and crashed, his best friend sadly died and he was sent to prison. I split up with him as I was very angry and upset. He was released from prison in late 2020 (when I posted on here) and I took DD to see him, he was very remorseful and told me he wanted to be in DD’s life. I moved in with him and his dad in at the start of lockdown so DD could build a relationship with her dad and so I could get some support as I don't see my own family.

Me and him got back together in March 2021, me and DD stayed living with him and his dad, he got a job and everything relationship wise has been good. Me, him and DD moved into our own house this summer (we were saving whilst living at his dads).

DD started reception in September and has had a few playdates, one of my friends has never been happy with DD having contact with DP let alone us getting back together, so we don't talk much but this evening she messaged and asked how DD is getting on at school, has she made friends etc so I told her she has. She then asked if I mentioned DP’s past to her friends’ parents, I said no and she has said if she had a child, she'd want to know so she could judge whether to allow her child around him. Some of the parents have met him and have made their judgements without knowing.

AIBU in thinking they don't need to know something that happened when DP was still legally classed as a child, he's now 21, and it's been 5 years since it happened. Or if you were her friends parents would you want to know?

I’m saying it’s unlikely that he hadn’t been drove illegally before. And I’m allowed to think that.

*hadn’t drove

It's possible but it is also possible he legitimately learned to drive. You don't know either way, you are simply guessing and it isn't actually relevant to the thread.

Where I live (rural), a great many kids of far younger than 17 will know how to drive and will be regularly driving cars, trucks, tractors and more. You've no idea if the OP's partner comes from a similar sort of place.

I can make a good guess though. We all know kids like that.

Absolutely there was a tragedy local to us on father's day 2020. A father, two children and dog were killed by a drink driver.

If you can't work out that being an adult in charge of a playdate or there for a playdate is very similar to babysitting, I really don't know how to help you.

Absolutely what?

Good point. I have read last couple of pages but haven't RTFT since I last posted about a week ago but seen a news story that reminded me of this thread.

I see people are still fixed on the idea that people who haven't been jailed have never done a similar act to this young adult. I know people whose parents at age 50+ have drunk driven and had accidents, only in their case it was only them that was injured or in some cases they were lucky enough not to have accidents at all.

People can tag the scarlet letter to this man all he wants but there's many in their midst with murkier pasts than him, so they might want to limit their kids socialising to only people they've know from youth realistically if they want to avoid people like this. Ironically if his friend who died was alive now he probably wouldn't be judging him because by the sounds of it he was very much part the 'joyride'

Well I was replying to a comment that's obviously being deleted. It was a few weeks ago but I think they said there are plenty of adults who drink and drive and cause fatalities. Do I have to spell it out?

Presumably the friend who lost his life got into the car willingly? Therefore 2 kids being stupid knowing they were taking a risk.

Your "friend" is a nosy bitch