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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

***********TO WANT A POSITIVE BIRTH THREAD?**************

116 replies

auntilin · 29/01/2008 23:48

I'm sick to death of all the negative spin!

Giving birth is the most natural thing in the world, its what we were made for...

OP posts:
NoBiggy · 29/01/2008 23:50

I feel sorry for men that they can never experience it. I've travelled the world, I've climbed a mountain and done a bungee jump, but never was I so alive as when I gave birth.

Disenchanted · 29/01/2008 23:51

I had a fantastic birth with DS2, i loved it

nanninurse · 29/01/2008 23:54

My body loved being pregnant, birth was better than a trip to the dentist any day! & i'm such a wimp!

Minkus · 30/01/2008 10:36

I agree. I started one a while ago in the childbirth topic as (with most things in life) you only hear about the bits that go "wrong" not the ones that are absolutely fine. Must be terrible for first time mums especially who have enough to worry about let alone needing to stick their fingers in their ears and go lalalalala every time another mum wants to spout forth their traumatic tale.
I felt that I could not talk about my ds's birth as it was relatively straight forward, I wasn't traumatised by the experience and would have done it again in a flash. Would have felt like I was "boasting" somehow if I had said all that when everyone else was saying how awful it had been. Just didn't feel that way at all about it. No doubt there are women for whom it is traumatic and a bad experience but you never hear about the stories that give you strength.

rebelmum1 · 30/01/2008 10:43

I have never been happier than when I was pregnant it was wonderful, and holding my dd in my arms for the first time is the best moment of my whole life.

mustsleep · 30/01/2008 10:49

i had a not so nice time with ds's birth and i did have some pain releif

with dd's three years later, i had no pain releif and it was quick and not so bad - i actaully thought aferwards omg i cold do that again it was easy - ( not that i told dh this!!)

now i/m expecting my third in sept and hope i have a really great experience again!!

as for being pregnant i loved it both times previousley and am sure i will after the sickness has worn off this time

rebelmum1 · 30/01/2008 10:54

erm yeah I missed the actual labour bit out but i was induced and went all the way without any pain relief, not even gas until the end. If I can I will have a home birth next time.

Tortington · 30/01/2008 10:58

friggin shittin me?

its that fucking natural that i nearly died

dying is natural.

if you have a bad experience, shit hospital, crap birth, doctors who have never seen a vagina before, nurses with wigs on and spectators who "must see a multiple birth" before they can graduate - wtf am i ..on stage?

its hat natural that my daughter was in scabu and i went home with one twin

so piss off hippies

moodymammy · 30/01/2008 11:06

well said custardo. being pregnant and giving birth is a necessary evil if you want a lovely baby.

rebelmum1 · 30/01/2008 11:12

I'm getting a negative vibe

nanninurse · 30/01/2008 21:23

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Sushipaws · 30/01/2008 21:33

The reason you hear so few posative birth stories is that most of us have straight forward births, with very little to complain about. However, when it goes wrong then people feel the need to talk about it.

I would rather read a thread about how woman have got through and survived against the odds, how some woman have overcome pain and fear. Thats far more interestiong than Nnnnnnnnnnnggh Nnnnnnnnnngh "PoP".

But then, I love a bit o' drama.

custardo · 30/01/2008 22:03

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pelafina · 30/01/2008 22:05

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policywonk · 30/01/2008 22:41

mmmmm

I had two great births, the second particularly was really positive and joyful, and gave me a huge ego-boost.

However, it's been interesting reading threads about childbirth on here recently and my perspective has changed a bit as a consequence. I genuinely hadn't realised before that so many women found birth to be a truly agonising and frightening experience (call me stupid... no, really).

I think a lot of women who do find birth very difficult also get pissed off with those of us who had good experiences - I guess it seems like boasting.

I do wish that women on both sides could go out of their way to acknowledge the experiences of the other. I get fed up with reading posts along the lines of 'birth is always agonising and those who say it's not are lying'. However, I can equally see how people get fed up with reading posts along the lines of 'anyone who finds birth agonising just hasn't read enough Sheila Kitzinger'.

Whatever our experiences, I'd wager that we all found birth to be a significant, powerful experience one way or the other, and we want to have our stories acknowledged.

2shoes · 30/01/2008 22:46

well i have had 2
ds was forceps and dd nearly died.
sorry but these things happen.
people can tell you that it will be wonderful beautiful expierence. and for many it is.
but sadly for some it all goes tits up.

nanninurse don't be so rude to custy. bang out of order.

NoBiggy · 30/01/2008 22:56

Why is it out of order?

If Custardo said that to me in public I'd tell her to fuck right off.

No doubt she has some back story we're all supposed to know which excuses everything.

Don't know it.

Don't care for her comments.

2shoes · 30/01/2008 22:59

the op said giving birth is the most natural thing in the world. I think people are allowed to disagree with that.

auntilin · 30/01/2008 23:15

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MarsLady · 30/01/2008 23:29

I thought that there were LOADS of positive birth threads. Certainly contributed to lots.

I clearly adore birth. I attend as many as I can.

MarsLady · 30/01/2008 23:34

Custardo said what her background was in her post. She said that she nearly died and that one of her twins was taken off to scbu. I think it's actually out of order to call her the name that she was called.

I've had a whole range of births. I'm a doula and I attend a whole range of births as well. For some women it is an incredibly easy and natural thing. For others it can be a positive nightmare. I like to think that my being there prevents some of the nightmares or at least stops them from being as bad as they could be.

This thread is in AIBU. That invites debate and opposite opinion. I don't think that Custardo came to cause a fight. Her experience wasn't wonderfully natural. So... if you post on a "debate" thread...expect difference of opinion.

Octothechildherder · 30/01/2008 23:38

I have reported the post.

Good night

NoBiggy · 31/01/2008 06:31

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yetanothername · 31/01/2008 06:47

What you call negative spin other people call getting support for a traumatic experience.

As for the natural part, ffs, before the last century it was a major cause of death for mothers and their offspring.

Islamum · 31/01/2008 07:19

I had a lousy pg, but a great birth, wouldn't have wanted to do it without pethidine mind kept saying to the midwife 'how do people do this wihtout drugs'?