AIBU for overreacting to comment by John Lewis

[filletofishmeal]

I was on the phone to John Lewis as they failed to deliver an item ( did not put it on their load), and as the person was processing a new delivery date he was making small talk about the reason why I was purchasing a TV. I said it was for the cricket world up, and he asked who I thought I was going to win the tournament. I replied that I am British, so am backing England. He then told me that my name does not sound British, where are my parents from?
I snapped at that point and got a bit shirty with him, as I felt it was unreasonable for him to assume I am not British just because of my surname.

I'm not sure anyone can call out racism when we don't even know what her surname is. It might not be a name which might imply she is black or asian, it could be that she has a name which is typically Greek, Polish or Russian or any other white nation which doesn't have typical British names. The OP has not mentioned race, only her nationality.

But to me he wasn’t assuming that you weren’t British because of your name but that your name does not seem to be a typically British name. He’s probably very aware that you can be British with names such as Hussain or de La Croix for instance.

Calm down Gimp love

This .

OP, your parents did their jobs well and warned you about this because it happens.

"Telling someone they’ve overreacted highlights your own ignorance to the experiences of non-white sounding name owners who face this regularly."

BUT, @GCautist , the OP herself said she had overreacted!😩

People showing interest in your heritage does not mean you're not on equal par. It's also not undermining you. Its on a par with talking about the weather generally. Which the Brits like to do too.

they are just making small talk. What’s wrong with that? No they probably shouldn’t make assumptions about customers or their names / heritage etc but I couldn’t be annoyed at that

Someone upthread put it well and referred to the JL employee’s error as “unconscious bias”. He probably didn’t realise the impact of his question on the OP.

But the posters on this thread who, after plenty of explanations from people who have been on the receiving end of this type of behaviour, probably do have underlying racist tendencies given their refusal to acknowledge that this behaviour could be an issue or where this type of questioning comes from.

Some really staggering bigotry on this thread

Well, you clearly have a chip on your shoulder! You believe you can speak English better than the majority of people- that says it all!

So, OP, was he right? Are your parents originally from another country?

We do know where the OP’s surname is from though, don’t we? But now you’ve read the thread and can’t deny the racism, you’ve decided to attack the OP for a different reason instead?

Yes, I don't like her tone.

Of course. I see now.

I'd not be annoyed and wouldn't give it a second though. No wonder people are losing the art of conversation and small talk, too worried if they'll get shot down for saying anything that could offend someone.

Omg my surname is forrin and I get asked about it constantly. Who cares.

Do I see Rishi Sunak as a victim of racism? Yes. Don’t you?

@theleafandnotthetree yes, I'm afraid it is - it's casual racism which drops down the chin of many a puse English boomer

What a repulsive thing to say. Ever thought that you might be part of the problem not the solution. Comments like this make things worse for everyone. Including the people you think you're protecting. You're not. This is shit and divisive. The hatred, particularly for English people, is astonishing.

@ancientgran, what an a absolutely appalling thing to say.

Shame on you.

@MasterBeth

That phone-in with Sangita should be shared in schools. A perfect example of racism masquerading as faux concern from middle England racists (of which there are a number but in hopefully, not a majority).

And the posters saying 'I have a surname that's typically non British/non English, and people are always asking ME if I'm from another country. I am never offended, so anyone who IS offended is a whiny little princess and a snowflake, and needs to get a life!' can just BORE OFF!

Why? The poster asked if they were being unreasonable to be annoyed that she was asked where her parents were from. If she only wants the opinion of people who feel exactly the same then why post in AIBU?!

Surely it's just normal family history? Some surnames did not originate from Britain .. not everyone has to be british it's not a bad thing to not be or to be British but have ancestors who weren't ..