My retired mum has run out of money at 63!!!!!!

[Lilu1660]

I don't know where to turn to and not managed to tell my SO yet but my mum has told me that she and my dad have no savings left and cant pay their rent or bills this month or for the foreseeable.

My dad is in his mid 70s and works when he can plus has his state pension but my mum retired 10 years ago when she was 50 (she's quite a bit younger than my dad) and is now saying that they have spent all their nest egg. They don't have any assets as they lost their house years ago as they were on an interest only mortgage. They got to keep the market increase in the houses value when they sold so I assumed with that money plus my mum's two private pensions that she had figured out she had enough to retire. My dad has never been good with money and has never saved for his retirement but his plan was to keep working.

My dad has had a recent health scare and has been unable to work for a few months which lead to my mum calling me yesterday saying they have no money, cant pay their rent and they are now getting bank charges and could I take on some of the financial burden. I am an only child so have no siblings to help but I have two kids of my own, a mortgage that is due to double in a few months because of the rising interest rates and my outgoings are spiralling out of control with rising living costs...we are barely scraping by as it is...and its only due to get worse.

I suggested maybe she go back to work (she is totally fit and healthy) but she told me I was being 'cruel' and 'unhelpful' and she wishes she belonged to a community where children took care of their elderly parents. She has not answered my calls or texts since.
I don't understand what her long term plan is? I have a very strained relationship with my parents due to having endured a pretty poor childhood and we don't really talk or communicate very often so they have never been open with me about their finances or life plan.

My mum is my biggest worry. She is only 63! She could conceivably live until her 90s. I cant wrap my head around the fact that her retirement plan seems to have been constantly dipping in to dwindling savings whilst relying on a man in his mid 70s to pay the rent and bills. And now that he cant work, is her plan to now put that financial pressure on to me? Or worse, to come and live with us for the next 20-30 years? We don't have a good relationship so I cant see how she would ever have thought that would be her life plan.

I am now worried sick about how they are going to survive paying rent, spiralling bills etc but I don't feel its the right thing to do to help them. If I help this month what about next month? And next year? And the next 20 years?

If I were to help them in any way short / long term it would be a drop in the ocean compared to what they need to cover themselves every month (their rent alone is £2k a month) and would negatively impact my own financial safety and that of my children's. I feel utterly torn and lost and just cant believe their stupidity and not planning for / seeing this coming!

Is anyone else out there dealing with this?? Or does anyone have any advice at all xxxx

Blimey. I can't quite believe the stupidity of your parents' situation which they must've known had been coming for years and years.

I don't know anyone nowadays that retires at 50 unless they are millionaires or got cast iron pension pots for working in the army or police or something like that for 30 years.

Where do they live now? London? They need to move flat, potentially to a different part of the country for cheaper rent.

She needs a job - what did she do before?

If your DF is very ill - could she be his carer?

This situation is entirely of their own making. It does not sound like you can help them so don't let them guilt trip you. You have to put your DC's needs first

I'm so sorry to read about your Mum and Dad.

Has anyone suggested she contact Shelter yet? www.shelter.org.uk/

She needs to get a job.
I'm in my 50s and do have a good ish pension when i do retire i, but don't own anything and am planning on working after retirement (at 65) and living as cheaply as possible.
Can't imagine expecting my kids to carry me.

It used to be common to retire at 50 with a private pension as state pension wage was 60 for women.

When she goes on benefits she's in for a shock too, UC is deducted pound for pound with private pensions.

£2k a month is huge!

Cant they get a social housing retirement bungalow for locals?

If your mum is only 63 and fit and well, there seems no reason she can’t do a little job.

Like you say, they don’t sound good with finances but that’s not your fault, although it must be really hard for you to work out what to do.

I think putting their name down for a council flat/bungalow is the only option.

She’s looking for a new cash cow OP, unfortunately she’ll have to go back to work or start claiming UC but either way it isn’t your responsibility to fix it for her

My dad is ex-police. He retired as an officer at the compulsory age of 55 but still worked until his late 60s doing other jobs. Very few police can afford to completely retire at 55 nowadays unless they invested money or something. And he's 81 now. I don't know how someone born in 1959 got it into her head that it was reasonable to retire at 50.

She has 20 years of working life still in her. Send her some job ads for full time work in shops, bars etc.

Check out the link I posted. When I did my "final just to be sure" check on that link it said I had missing years but if I made up the years I could get the full pension. You can only fill in missing years for a limited time (up to 6 yrs I think?) My "missing years" were the years since I took early retirement from my job.

I rang the pension service because it didn't seem right to me - I had 38yrs and it said I had to have 35! and they explained the rules had changed since I last did a pension check. The system changed in 2016, but I still had time to pay in and make up the "missed" years.

This link seems to suggest it might have been because I had 6yrs in a workplace pension and that counted as "contracted out" for those years. www.wypf.org.uk/news/topping-up-state-pension/

If you are unemployed and on benefits then I think it's counted as having been paid.

When you do the pension check online it shows you your entire employment history and when you were paying NI.

It's definitely not as simple as having paid in for the right number of years means a full pension. Evidently once the "new system" is fully in place (all the pre 2016 people no longer around) it will be simple. But of course by then they will have changed the rules again.........

It sounds like they've both made some terrible financial decisions: an interest only mortgage, your mum retiring at 50, renting a place that costs £2,000 per month, your dad thinking he could work the rest of his life, etc.

It's definitely not your problem and your not obliged to help them. They should have learned how to manage money and budget by their age.

However, if you do want to help, you could sit down with them and go through their finances. See what savings they have left, what their income is, what universal credit they'd be entitled to, what unnecessary expenditure they could cut out, moving house to something more affordable, advising your mum (again) that she could get a job (no harm in a part time job to keep her busy).

Don't feel pressured to help pay for their mistakes. Helping to educate them on their finances is worth a lot more than giving them your hard earned money to fritter away like they did before.

Rent alone is £2k !!

what do they rent!? Buckingham palace?

@ThunderstomsAreComing

Ah, that clears it up.
You were contracted out for 6 years so you didnt have 38 years, you had 32. You needed to pay to make it to to 35. You didnt need to pay all the years up to your retirement age.

What you said will have made others panic.

You do not need to pay NI every year until retirement age if you retire early. You just need to have your 35 years. You can have missing years. They'll be listed as "missing" if you didnt make full contributions that year, but it doesnt matter. You dont need to pay every year. You just 35 qualifying years. You didnt have 35 qualifying years.

I'm 33. I have one missing year. Doeant matter. I've got enough working years left to get to 35 (and much more). I dont need to pay that missing year.

If I was 60 with 10 missing years then I dont have enough working years left to pay those, so I would need to fill in some missing years.

At the moment, you can go back as far as you want but in 2023, you'll only be able to fill in missing years up to 6 years back.

As above has said they will need to look at somewhere cheaper to live to reduce monthly expenditure, your mum will need to get a part time job to cover the difference, there's jobs going at boots remote working currently that should help make a difference. She was ludicrous to think she could retire at 50 without the right savings and a financial advisor. With part time work and any benefits she can get they should be ok until she hits actual retirement age!

I'm still working at 64. Not because l want to, but because l need to.
I'm not fit and healthy, but l have no choice. My job is physically hard (compared to my health issues - l have arthritis, hypermobility and a blood disorder) but l do it because l need the money until l get my state pension. I'm on my own, l have no family to bail me out financially, nor would l expect it if l had.
She needs to get off her backside and get a job.

Not for a very long time now.

Haven't read everything.
No wonder they have run out of money as 2000 a month for 10 years is 240,000 not counting any other spending.
Could they rent a room?
Recently here in lreland l have noticed for the irst time older women working on the floor in supermarkets and l was wondering if the risings costs were driving folk who had retired back to work. Your dm needs to work..full stop!
Is their a Citizens Advice kind of place where she could learn what her entitlements are and work from there. Maybe putting her in contact with them could be your contribution

Your mother needs to take a good long look at herself - and then she needs to see what help is available via benefits, and look for a job. Your parents also need to look into finding somewhere cheaper to rent. Sorry, I know I am just repeating what others have said, but it is dreadful that she is putting it onto you to solve their issues. I am 63 and work, having started work just after my 16th birthday and had no illusions about retiring at 50 at all. Your parents are adults and are responsible for their own lives, it certainly isn't up to you to help them in this instance where they have brought their misfortune on themselves. I also wouldn't be calling or texting her either. You have my sympathy OP as I also have no siblings and know that feeling of being the only one to have to deal with issues. Stay strong and good luck!

I doubt they will get any Uc unless their local housing allowance is high. Private and state pensions are deducted from Uc pound for pound. the only way they may get Uc is if op's dad is eligible for Attendance allowance ( and therefore the limited capability for work and work related activity element) and op's mum can claim carers element.

They have to claim benefits. X

They will likely not be eligible? The threshold for mixed aged couple who have to claim Universal credit is very low. Benefits for couples who are both pensioners are a lot more generous but that is some years away for this couple.

I wish the op would give a bit more information, she seems to have vanished

That's the point I was trying to make but you explained it better

Benefit officer here.

First job they need to claim universal credit. This will include a housing cost element but it will based on a one bedroom local housing allowance rate (you can check this by postcode and a quick google search) They should claim council tax reduction. Local council offer discretionary housing payment to help with rent top up not covered due to restriction of rent through local housing allowance this is a short term award as they are expected to register for social housing and look for smaller cheaper accommodation

For crying out loud you are the daughter and your parents should be ashamed of putting this pressure on you. Keep your distance would be my advice. You have your own family to take care of. Can you imagine treating your children like this when they are adults with their own young families to look after.